To get up at 5am every day?

[mum677778]

I’m a mum to one lovely toddler. He’s in nursery for two days a week (whilst I work part time) and the rest of the week he’s home with me.

I really want to retrain and take my career in a new direction, and need to find some work/study time in between looking after my son, the part time job, cooking, cleaning and general life admin.

How hard would it be to get up at 5am every day to work/study for a solid 1.75 hours before my son gets up at 7? I would then work for another hour or two in the evening when he’s gone to bed.

Is it doable or will I be a dead woman walking?

People get up at 5 every day if they start at 6 or if like me they have annoying kids who get up at 5. And I manage to get through the day ok and work all day without feeling too exhausted. I mean, I think I'm kind of permanently tired but you just kind of get used to it

I'm up every day at 5am. So many benefits as you can get so much done uninterrupted. Luckily I don't need too much sleep, try to be in bed around 10.30pm and asleep by 11.00pm.

But I am considered a lark, so I don't struggle with tiredness - have done it naturally my entire life. If you struggle with these hours, would it be possible for your toddler to add a third day in care, that could be your dedicated study day?

I set my alarm for 6am for work, but wake up naturally at 5am almost every day. My brain works best at that time, so it’s the best time for me to anything productive. I switch off at 8pm, it’s leisure only after that, so I’d be useless trying to study in the evening.

Opt to use the time of day that you are most productive.

mum677778 its doable (I've done it and still get up at 4.30 to get a gym session in before leaving for work at 7am) but depends on you - does your brain work well at that time of day? Some people find their brain needs to warm up and they are most productive in the evening!

What will you do if you have a bad night with your baby or just a bad night? Or if you go out? Could you start with just two or three mornings a week and see how it goes?

Its a great plan though - really hope you succeed!

I would work out what was cheaper, an extra day at nursery or a cleaner once a week and make the time up that way.

Very doable given you only work two days a week.

I couldn't do it, but you know yourself...

Burning both ends of the candle doesn't work, unless you're very young. Be careful not to set up a situation you can't escape from.

I think a lot will depend on what support you do and don't have, if you have any health/disability issues, and what other responsibilities to others apart from your toddler, you might have.

I'm up at between 4 and 4.30am and in bed by 10/11 pm at best, often later, seven days a week.
It was meant to be a temporary measure to rescue a situation, but has quickly become everyone's normal, and now expectation on me.
It's slowly destroying me as well as damaging my physical health, and I can't (currently) figure an escape route that wont collapse us all.

If you're going for it, plan not only sleeping time, but catch up time, and time for the unexpected. If you have a partner, and or other family, make sure they're on board with it and willing to pick up slack, because when there aren't enough hours in the week, every week, things can get chaotic quickly.

Totally doable! If you could get another day of childcare for a study day that would help or a Saturday either? I've just done something similar but full time study 3 days of toddler in crèche and I was not working myself it was full on.

What are you retraining in- does it really need 4 hours study a day? I can't think of anything that would need that level of study

What’s the rush? Cant you wait until he’s older and you get more nursery hours for free?

I do not thrive under pressure nor enjoy getting up earlier than 7am so it’s a no from me!

Having done something similar, I’d say you will cope for about a year but expect to be exhausted by it all and not be able to do it for much longer. After a year, I actually had dc with a CM two afternoons a week (that was a full time course though)

IF you were doing that, I’d ask your DP/DH to step up and do more of the cleaning/he/cooking as I suspect it’s all on your shoulders as you ‘only’ work part time.

I could do the 5am thing happily, I wake at that time anyway and do housework, real work, swimming or at weekends very little for a couple of hours before everyone else gets up, I prefer it that way. But I couldn’t also extend my working day into the evening at the same time, I am useless with anything after about 8pm and tend to be in bed 9.30 / 10 ish. It sounds like you have a sleeper, I had one too and used to work when he napped for a couple of hours a day for a couple of years, but quite possibly yours is past the napping phase. In the long term, just make sure you’re getting enough sleep and down time, otherwise it may not work out beyond a couple of weeks.

I get up for work at 5:30 with no problem. However when I was wfh during lockdown, I really struggled with getting up early, even if it made my life easier, because I didn't have to!

I need a solid reason and strong motivation to do it. So I guess it depends on your personality type and how determined you are to do it. Take into considerstion how much sleep you need and be prepared to adjust when you go to bed - everyone is different.

It's doable until your previously sleeping toddler decides they've had enough of that and turns, as mine has recently, into a screamer instead of a sleeper. Potty training seems to have triggered it. She now wakes to have a wee, but won't go back to her own bed so she's either in my bed or I have to sit with her until she drops off again. I feel like death on legs.

Personally, I'd up the nursery hours or wait until they get their free hours.

In theory, yes. In practice, no.

I think you’d have to be really committed but with a child, you will have to prioritise them, so it won’t be so easy.

I think you’d just be too tired.

I think if your Son is a good sleeper then why not? Obv he may go through periods of waking early/in the night or whatever . Can always do in the evenings

I would put the child in nursery for the extra day.
Then use that day for studying

I've been doing this for a few years, ever since my little boy has been sleeping through the night. He wakes at 6.30 so I'm up at 5.30. It's such a peaceful hour and the only time I have to myself really! I feel if I don't for whatever reason get up at the time I'm grumpy and can't catch up with myself all morning!
The only problem is my other half is a shift worker and a night owl, so sometimes we go days without spending quality time together.

It would be awful for me. There's only one 5 o'clock in my day unless the circumstances are exceptional. Even getting everyone up for school and work is awful, we are all owls. 9-10 is our natural wake up time.

I do that most mornings. You can get loads done at that time. Much better fresh than when your brains winding down. You will feel tired at first but you get used to a new routine.

I'm not sure which way to vote on the AIBU. It's certainly doable. 5am isn't that outrageous. Plenty of people get up that early every day. You'll have to be motivated and make sure you're getting to bed at a decent time every night, but it's easily doable.

Why don't you try getting up at 5am for a couple of weeks and see how you find it? Would give you an idea if it would work.

Depends on you individually.

I used to get up at 4 or 5am to study before my children woke up when I was at uni. This was when I was most productive and knew I had done 2-3 hours of studying first thing.

I did exactly this. With a baby/toddler and older child. It was hard work for 2 years but well worth it. I would say a supportive partner is key, in terms of pitching in properly when he's around.