3 year old and meltdowns at birthdays parties

[guwv]

I have a 3 year old who basically cant handle drawn-out kids events such as birthday parties that go on for 2-3. Essentially he gets overstimulated and it all just gets too much. I appreciate that other kids can - but is it unreasonable to assume that shoving seven 3 year olds in a room for a few hours without much adult input is going to hard for at least some of them. Also, does anyone have any tips for how best to manage it? I can see it in his eyes when it all gets too much and about 10-15mins later - he either stops being able to share or just gets really antsy. But I dont feel like i can just take him outside, it seems harsh to take him home after 90mins when all his friends are staying. How do i create a space, opportunity for him to just chill for a bit and get back into it? Mainyl posting in AIBU for traffic

One option you can try is to, at intervals, take him on a walk outside - I find fresh air on my DCs faces always helps calm them down.

So tell him (and the host) that after 40 mins you're going for a walk around the block.

Another option would be to come to the party later (again, warning the host and explaining why).

You could also look into having his sensory issues investigated and aided with an occupational therapist if this is an option.

Tell the host and arrive late?

See how much DS can handle. If he wants out,let him out.
There’s so much noise and sugar that some kids go hyper.
Let your son decide when he’s had enough.

Totally normal at that age, and why most parties we went to were scheduled for 90mins of well planned time - about 1hr play, 30mins sing, cake, food - until they were at least 5. Just explain to host and either come a bit later or leave earlier

Thanks everyone. I think we have similar issues when it comes to days out and playdates. He just gets overehelmed so might try the coming late or leaving early. He might very well have some actually sensory issues which wouldn't be surprising as there is definitely ASD running through my family

I'd also first try arriving late ( giving the host notice).
For playdates I'd try organised activities such as baking or making something crafty so that they're engaged in a task then near the end of the playdate let them out in the garden or take them to the park to run and let off steam.
Most importantly (I think) I'd not tell him of playdates until the friend actually arrives so he's not all built up with adrenaline and anticipation. Same with parties. Just casually mention you're going to see X on her Birthday while you're en route.