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Original poster

Would you chase after your child or expect his cousin to?

18 replies

Curtaintwitching · 16/10/2021 18:48

Say your 4 year old son ran off down the road. Would you make chase yourself after it was obvious he wasn't responding to your calls? or would you be happy to leave the job to his 10 year old cousin who had to run about 20m before the younger child stopped?

For context, 10 year old cousin was a bit further ahead than you but not much and she is small for her age…

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 16/10/2021 18:54

No, I wouldn't expect a 10 year old to deal with a 4 year old runner. Nice as back-up, but it's the parent's job.

3scape · 16/10/2021 18:54

I'd be grateful of the 10 year olds help but definitely be heading after the 4 year old!

My friends child once sped away with mine in pursuit. I ran as hard as I could and she just sauntered behind. I was alarmed but it wasn't a massive shock that he'd boarded a train without us and it nearly left (doors closed and opened again for someone else with a bag in the way. I grabbed him and hauled him onto the platform). Kids couldn't have managed dragging/ lifting him.

2pinkginsplease · 16/10/2021 18:54

My responsibility not a 10yr old child’s responsibility.

takealettermsjones · 16/10/2021 18:58

I would definitely chase them myself - I couldn't not, I'd be worried sick about the road.

I have actually asked DD's 11 year old cousin to go and rescue her from a tricky spot in the soft play though. He was much more able to negotiate the narrow gaps and I didn't want to. Grin

HunterAngel · 16/10/2021 19:16

If the 10 year was close enough to grab the child and there was an immediate danger then yes. I wouldn’t expect a child to chase down my toddler unless I physically couldn’t get to them in time to prevent an accident.

TakeMe2Insanity · 16/10/2021 19:18

Err no. The adult gets the child even if the 10 year old is closer.

rolyisntittimefor · 16/10/2021 19:18

You've had a busy day judging this family haven't you OP, two threads!

rolyisntittimefor · 16/10/2021 19:19

And I think everyone knows what's right in this one you don't need a thread to agree with you!

SoItWas · 16/10/2021 19:27

I'd be right behind the 10 year old, they could be too slower, get a stitch, fall or whatever, and the 4 year old could get the whim to run out onto a road without looking first, decide the play hide and seek in a random garden, etc.

Mynextname · 16/10/2021 19:44

I think it depends. Is the 4 year old in danger? This is a school age child, albeit still very young, not a toddler. Are they somewhere quiet where they know the route like the back of their hand and they would stop where the grown up would usually stop? Is the 10 year old all ready running and mostly catching up and wants to and the 4 year old would respond? Does the grown up have any unknown medical conditions or younger children to keep hold of? I think it is easy to judge.

In an ideal world the parents would do everything but is a child having an extra eye out for a family member really that bad? I'm not talking about all childcaring responsibilities put on them but the odd thing sometimes surely doesn't hurt if any of the children aren't in danger.

Children seem to have so few responsibilities these days and all whilst the parents run them here there and everywhere sacrificing everything. Surely there is a balance somewhere in between all of this.

Porcupineintherough · 16/10/2021 19:50

If they were in danger and speed was of the essence then I'd have sent their 10 year old cousin who was twice my speed and very sensible when it came to his little cousin's safety.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/10/2021 19:57

I used to chase my 3-4 year old as she was a runner- occasionally she'd suddenly wiggle free and "leg it" merrily laughing at she went! But my 10 year old son would be ahead of me and grab her if he had to (with me shouting GET ALICE!! Grab her quick!) . But then I'm disabled and my chasing is not fast. If I was able bodied then I'd be the one who caught her.
So if the mum was able-bodied she ought set off in speedy chase too, even if 10'yo is the first to get to her.

Flowersintheattic2021 · 16/10/2021 19:58

Both run?

RedMarauder · 16/10/2021 19:59

With all the children I've known the older ones feel some responsibility to stop the younger ones harming themselves.

So while it is the adults job to catch the 4 year old, if the 10 year old can help without putting themselves in danger they should.

So thank and praise the 10 year old but also help teach them about not putting themselves in danger to save others.

@Mynextname my toddler will not be school age when 4. She will be 5 for the first entire year she attends school.

SoItWas · 16/10/2021 20:01

To be fair the fitness and health of the accompanying adult and 10 year old would matter.

Not being able to is one thing, not bothering another.

RobertaFirmino · 16/10/2021 23:13

Reversing the usual saying, this is your monkey and your circus. How can you possibly expect a 10yo to be responsible for a 4yos welfare?

DysmalRadius · 16/10/2021 23:16

I'd appreciate the help but wouldn't give a 10 year old the responsibility of catching them.

Djifunrsn · 16/10/2021 23:47

Who was supervising the 4yo? They should not have been so far as to be “ungrabbable” from whoever was looking after them by a road.

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