Nursery fees? Impending divorce, who pays?

[whaleoftheblue]

I'm the lower earner, dc goes to nursery 3 days a week.

Dcs are with me Sunday pm to Thursday am, with their father the rest of the time. 1 of those nursery days is my responsibility because I have the option of working every day when dcs are with their father. Plus the day dcs goes to nursery on my time.

But I'm paying for all of the fees.

AIBU To think we should each be responsible for our share of the fees?

Yanbu...

He should definitely be responsible for childcare on his days, whether that’s nursery fees or some other childcare.

Are the days all on days DC is with you? If so then you’ll be responsible unfortunately if one of the Days is the Friday he should pay that day

I’d be careful about setting a precedent that he has DC every Saturday though as when in school that will be quite limited

You pay for the childcare you need for your days.

I'd try and sort it amicably but if he's a dick, just cancel nursery apart from the days you need.

ExH barely ever looked after DS (a few hours on occassional Sundays only) so I had a 50:50 childcare fee split agreed in the divorce settlement. Sadly he stopped paying after a few years and I couldn't afford to go back to court about it. DS is too old for childcare now anyway

I think half fees is far if you share 50/50 custody. But if one person earns quite a bit more that makes a difference.

Are you sure about that split of days? Assuming that you work Monday to Friday, you'll never be able to have a weekend away with the kids and take them to see family or host a sleepover. This is why parents usually have every other weekend then split the other days according to work schedule etc

You are right to think that you should only pay for nursery for the days that the kids are with you. Are you claiming government help with your childcare costs now that you're single? They will pay up to 80% depending on income so worth a check.

You need to pay for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and he needs to pay Thursday, Friday imo.

Are you happy never seeing your kids at the weekend?

Really the childcare should be paid for by whoever "day" it is.

You can't force him to pay unless you have money to fight him, and as nursery has both your names they can chase either of you for payment.

Ideally you would be better of changing child care for your days and cancelling with that specific nursery for your days so he is forced to pay his own childcare bill.