To attend someone’s funeral who I have never met or spoken to?

[Hairbrush123]

I followed a woman story I followed online as it really struck home as we are facing the same outcome which was cancer.
Basically we were both experiencing the same symptoms of a certain cancer and we both got tested around the same time — fortunately it wasn’t cancer for me but she wasn’t so lucky. She was diagnosed at stage four by the time she went to get tested. I donated towards her treatment as the NHS couldn’t do anything else for her and followed her Instagram and other social media outlets as she battled this awful disease. I honestly thought being so young and healthy, she’d be fine. Unfortunately she died a few weeks ago which made me cry. I wanted to send flowers to her family but couldn’t find an address.
Today I discovered that the funeral is on Wednesday and her parents said everyone is welcome to come, regardless of who they are.
Would it be appropriate for me to turn up despite this? I just want her family to know how many people she’s touched.

Thanks

Absolutely it would be ok - I'm sure her family would be pleased to see the people their loved one had an impact upon.

Sorry OP but I think it is weird to go.

Of course it would be fine for you to show up. I don’t know if you were planning to speak to the family, but if you were please don’t approach them, they have enough to deal with . I wouldn’t waste money on flowers for her or for her family though, use it instead to make a donation to an appropriate charity. If you still felt you needed to let them know how much her story affected you, then send a card , maybe via the funeral directors who will pass it on.

I'm sure her family knew she was on social media so I can't see why they wouldn't appreciate knowing that she had touched your life in such a profound way.

Sorry - I mean if anyone asks, I agree with viques that approaching her family would be a bit much.

Her family have said it’s fine so go. I went to one many years ago for my exes cousin who died in Afghanistan, he was buried with full military honours and a gun salute…the works. Anyhow, all the old boys came in their suits, medals and berets and lined the streets as his coffin was brought in draped in the Union Jack. Most of them would never have even heard his name if this hadn’t have happened but they felt this need to go to honour their fallen comrade. Maybe that’s a little how you feel. I’m sure it would mean a lot to her family if there was a good turn out. It’s not as though you’re going to make it about you and boast that you survived it.

Just an afterthought, I would have a good answer for anyone who asks ‘how did you know the deceased?’ Best to keep it as light as you can in the circumstances.

I think it’s fine. Not quite the same but when I was just out of uni a girl from my year at school died suddenly and tragically. We were quite close in years 7 and 8 and no big falling out or anything, just had different groups of friends as we got older and never kept in touch because these were the days before social media. I went to the crematorium for the service of her funeral and paid my respects. I sat at the back and was glad I went. There were a couple of others girls from school I recognised who’d done the same thing and we all spoke to one another outside the chapel. Her parents seemed pleased that so many people showed up.