Aibu/alone/a lazy cow to find Team Tomm too much?

[MrsHookey]

It seems like a lot to do every day. There's no way I could get all of it done in half an hour.

I read something about there being four 'styles' of cleaning. This is zone cleaning I think, but there's also weekend warrior, daily speed cleaner (which this is kind of too), and 'taskmaster', which is something like vacuuming on Mondays, laundry on Tuesdays, etc.

But if you have kids with SEN and are a single parent then something has to give somewhere and the housework is probably one of the best things to sacrifice! I'd look at what you can do to make life easier: robot hoover, big baskets for chucking toys in at the end of the day, dishwasher, etc. And just focus on things like keeping kitchen surfaces clean, staying on top of laundry, and worry less about some of the other things.

I really like it. I tend to get up early with dc anyway so get most of it done before going to work. I like the structure, and for the first time in years my weekend is not spent doing hours of housework.

I also have two kids with SEN, work full time and regularly have to prepare three seperate meals simultaneously so that we can all eat foods that we can all cope with.

I do not have time to have a clean and tidy house - it's just impossible. I think that I could manage it if I didn't work, but then I wouldn't be able to pay for private assessments to get reports that the kids need to keep their EHCPs fit for purpose.

I don't get downstairs from the youngest's bedtime until 9, the eldest doesn't go up until 9:30, neither of them can do chores and if I leave them in a room together they fight and scream within literally 5 minutes. They pretty much need the focus on them at all times.

I've slowly come to terms with having to live like this, doing what I can to make sure that the house isn't a health hazard but not being able to do more than that. It's really hard, and it's not what I signed up for but I'm doing the very best I can under a massive mental load and with a tiny amount of time.

We're parent-carers, not just parents so we do need to cut ourselves some slack

I quite like it but don’t follow it exactly, just tweek it and change it to suit my own house/time.

I like that the overall ‘philosophy’ is spending less time cleaning because there’s better things to do, and the fact the creator is quite discouraging of using chemicals and lots of different products- one thing that’s put me off the Facebook cleaning groups

I'm intrigued by this that I just read on TOMM: In order to make sure your home gets a deep clean in all areas on a regular basis there is Friday Focus.

Can anyone explain to me why my home needs a deep clean in all areas? What is the purpose of doing that?

And this is simply stupid: And remember the longer you follow the method, the cleaner your house will become and it will be easier and quicker to clean! because if the house is already clean then it doesn't need cleaning at all until it is not clean. The 'hall and stairs' can simply be left indefinitely unless it needs a hoover/mop. How does 'hall/stairs' require a designated day.

These systems are mad. They must be government mind control, to stop women getting ideas above their station.

We tried it but the reality was that we had about 2 hours between getting in from work/nursery etc in which to cook and eat dinner, help older dd with reading book, spellings etc and then do all that cleaning before the dcs went to bed. Once they are in bed I have to do marking etc as I'm a teacher. We were too tired after work for cleaning and realised we preferred to spend that time with the dcs.
We do a load of washing every day and another load gets put away and we vacuum downstairs most days because with 3 dcs and a cat it needs it. One of us does this whilst the other supervises bathtime for the dcs. Wipe round kitchen after cooking and washing up. Do the bathroom when it looks a bit dusty so usually about twice a week. The rest is done on a Saturday afternoon.
I think her system would work well if I didn't work or worked shorter hours.

I feel like these systems are great if you're trying to fill your time and you think cleaning is a hobby, but surely most people can't be bothered?

I unload the dishwasher while the kettle boils, wipe down the bathroom sink after washing my face and try to remember to set off the roomba when I go to bed. There is probably dust on top of my bookcase but that's what spring cleaning is for, not something to worry about on a weekly basis...

@8dpwoah

I wanted to love it but every morning when she pops up she gets told exactly where to go 😂 i ought to delete it really.

So glad it's not just me! I see the notification and I just ignore it. I should delete it too.

The FB group is a bit nuts. Also depressing. So many posts from women to say "Only been back from the school run for 30 minutes and look how amazing my kitchen/bathroom/ living room looked! Thank goodness for TOMM! Going to have some me-time now!"

I see these as I glance at my phone quickly at lunch (usually work through lunch) and think well I'm glad the method works for them, but I leave the house at 7:30am and get back at 6pm, then have to deal with dinner and toddler bath/bedtime.

The method probably works if you don't have other commitments. But I just find it hard to get my 'Level 1s' done (supposedly 15mins of quick floor clean, load of laundry, quick bathroom clean and make beds) plus actually tidying up from dinner, emptying/ filling dishwasher, wash up other bits, wipe surfaces, clean the floor/highchair where the toddler has made a mess and pick up the clothes/toys/detritus spread around the ground floor in the course of the day. All of that and the Level 1s are probably an hour near-enough, by that time it's usually 8-8:30pm so I'm sitting down with a nice glass of wine in front of the TV, thanks!

I prefer fly lady system. Dont do all of it but follow it as a guide.

OP I'm so glad you started this thread!

I thought I was being hopeless but couldn't get my head round the levels etc

There's a lot more on there than needs to be done

When I got the book, I didn't realise that it would be jobs on top of daily jobs. I suppose we do them anyway but somehow it made housework a bigger deal.

Deep clean happens in spring and autumn.

I thought we were clean till I read that book!

I've only got 1 toddler and I work part-time. Honestly if I followed this method I'd have no marriage left! On work days, toddler is dropped at nursery by 8am and we all get home by 5.15pm at which point one of us starts dinner and the other supervises toddler. While one of us does bedtime, the other sorts the dishwasher and puts away the toys. At which point, we can't hoover/clean upstairs, and even if we could that's the window of time we have to eat dinner and actually sit down to watch or play something.

I'm sure it's a bit easier if your child is about 8 and can be left alone in a room!

I’ve never got it to work, honestly, and that’s with DH doing all the Level 1 type jobs anyway. But I WANT it to work! I feel like if I just had some system that told me exactly what to do and didn’t let me get overwhelmed by all the clutter and mess and dust it would be the secret to a clean house.

I do wonder when the hell people have time. I can’t make time during the workday, I can’t make time after because it’s a whirlwind of dinner/homework/baths/toddler mayhem/bedtime, and then when they’re all in bed it’s 9pm and I’m shattered. Do people just juggle it with evening stuff? Get up really really early? I’d have to be up for 5.30am to beat the toddler…

@MotherOfGremlins - you sound like me. Why does no one warn you that bedtimes get later and you get even less time to yourself as kids grow up?

I can’t remember the exact phrase, but I came across ‘messy hosting’ (it definitely had a better name than that!) on social media a few years ago - essentially, the concept that any real friend wants to see you, not your house, and that you shouldn’t race around cleaning before they arrive. I live by that now. My house isn’t a show home, but it isn’t filthy either. It’s a home and it is loved and when my friends arrive they get coffee from a clean mug, a comfy sofa to sit on, and they don’t have to panic about dropping biscuit crumbs. I’m much happier like that.

I also realised when STBXH left that I couldn’t do it all alone so I’ve trained my kids to be much more aware of their actions and cleaning up after themselves. We do a quick dash around 2-3 times a week and then when they are at their dad’s I stick my headphones on, blast out 90s hits and enjoy the cleaning (I know! Odd!)

This much more relaxed style suits me, but I know that for some friends it would feel too haphazard. We all need to do what works for us.

Ooh I’ve bought this book. I’m beginning to suspect that the 250 pages could be condensed into a side of A4 though.

I like cleaning and I’m of the school of thought that says it’s better to keep on top of it rather than let it build up. Might be nice to have more of a system.

@batmanladybird I didn't find it helpful.
For 1 week you have to write down what you do all day, she suggests carry a note pad around to document. Then sit down and cull the crap, then work out what is non negotiable as in work, sleep, commute, looking after an elderly relative etc. Then work out what you could delegate, work out that maybe spending 4 hours a day on mumsnet is a waste of time (I could be paraphrasing from personal experience 😉). Then what you have left is your time.....
Yeah I'm not sure either! If you want it, PM your address and I'll post it to you when I've finally finished it

I think it's great. It seemed like a slog at first but the longer you keep going it gets easier and cleaner.

Gemma Bray is a huge advocate of getting the whole family involved and not letting cleaning take over. It's a shame the FB group and the name are putting people off.

The FB group for it is just overwhelming!

Gemma likes to get up at 5am (wtaf!) so some women were like oh I'll get up at 5am to clean then but I'm going to find that difficult because the baby has me up til 4am every day because he has colic but Gemma said she gets up at 5am to clean (no she didnt) so therefore I must too!!

Madness!

@rrhuth really I didn't continue doing this 1.5-2 hours. It wasn't sustainable.

Very glad to know I'm not the only one. Maybe I need to follow a very cut down version. Or that taskmaster idea sounds interesting! One thing per day..

Gemma Bray is explicit about the routine being based on her circumstances and stresses that it must be adapted to suit you.

The 30 minute idea is to time yourself in that particular room/area and what doesn't get done rolls to next week, you'll be back in same area in 7 days.

30 mins + 15mins can still be a lot, though. Tbh, I have found having a room focus too much pressure. Do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I found myself changing and customising the jobs on the app so in the end, it's a completely different system. So I might as all do it my way!

I have the Time Technique book and app, too, but spent so long fiddling with adding tasks on certain days at certain times and then you can tick them off so I was just looking at my phone all the time.

I think I'm more suited to just doing what I can, my way!

I don't think this is revolutionary, I hadn't heard of this method until long after our routine was established.
DH and I divide and conquer, someone takes DS up for his shower around half six and does a few bits whilst up there, eg folding/putting away laundry, giving the bathroom a wipe over or hoover upstairs/polish and dust upstairs one or two of these not all every night, then gets him out and gets him ready for bed. The other (often me) uses that time downstairs to clear up from dinner, wipe down and mop kitchen, set the dishwasher off, tidy up any rogue toys, put the chairs up for eufy (used to hoover but that robot is amazing so only do it once a week or so to get right in the corners). The time can also be used for shopping list, monthly budget/moving money around, booking vets/doctors/opticians/tickets for outings. DS goes to bed at half seven. So you're getting an hour from one adult and half an hour from the other every day. Means no major half a day of cleaning needed at the weekend. We both work full time so two nights midweek it's a one parent night as the other is working. So downstairs gets a quick tidy and chairs up. Then go upstairs with DS and do bits up there while he showers.
I can't believe she's made a fortune from the obvious.

I didn't even know there was an app
I guess that's where the real money is.