Party etiquette-minimum time to stay

[Georgelikessmellycheese]

Toddler birthday party tomorrow, parents will stay, they’ll be food etc. Really nice people, but a very heavy week and I’m not feeling 100% energy wise.
Without being rude, what’s the shortest time I can get away with staying?

Anyone else ever feel like this regarding staying at kids parties? 🙈

I don’t know, I’m more of the camp that it’s free entertainment to tire out my toddler and i’ll look forward to their early bedtime after knackering themselves at the party. I’d rather them run ragged at a party than me entertain a toddler at home after a rough week!

An hour or so. If there’s a sit down tea then it’s a bit rude to go before that (assuming you do have a child?)

Let them know in advance you’ll just be staying a short while.

Totally agree about birthday parties; I think you have to stay until at least after the cake though which is often at the end….

@Snowpaw That’s true…but I might find small talk a bit of a struggle for too long at the mo 😬

@MatildaTheCat No sit down meal, an hour would be doable, but I wasn’t sure if that seemed too short and a bit rushed/rude

Wait until the cake.

You can’t leave halfway through a party. So rude. There’ll probably be entertainment/food. You have to stay for the cake and for kid to get their party bag.

Just sit down with a cup of tea and let your kid have fun and tire themselves out

@HermioneKipper People stayed around 1-1.5 hours for my Ds

I think you should be looking towards your child and how they feel on the day, to answer this.

It is afterall their party invite and you don't want a crying child adding to your stress, when you're trying to drag them away early

Agree with worra, trying to get a kid to leave a party will be a shit show, just stay, relax and have a chat with the other mums.

[quote Georgelikessmellycheese]@HermioneKipper People stayed around 1-1.5 hours for my Ds[/quote]
Really? I’ve never been to a one hour party.

Unless that was specifically on the invite these guests were mega rude

What kind of party?.
House with a little supper and games and cake? Soft play so more structured?

I think you can get away with going a bit earlier on the house one as its likely to be a bit more flexible but once they're there you know they won't to leave first

'They're nice people'

Then go when you've had enough. Just say thank you for the invitation, Jnr is having a great time but you feel like you've been run over by a steam roller after an awful week and need to lay down.

Anyone who takes offence at this isn't a nice person.

If they say it's a shame Jnr has to go, agree with them & offer to leave him/her & come back for them later ... you'll be at the door with him before you can blink!!

Hope you feel a bit perkier tomorrow

@HermioneKipper No, I’ve seen it a few times, was an outdoor, relaxed party, I put two hours on the invite but a while after the cake and playing, some left, no problem for me

When I did my daughters party in the village hall I’d have been quite annoyed if people left after an hour as there were party games and food/cake etc etc.

But luckily no one did. We did sandwiches and drinks for the adults too and in fact I almost had to start kicking people out!

I guess fair enough if that’s what’s done in your circles then. Would be considered very rude with the people I know.

@Fdksyihfd

Totally agree about birthday parties; I think you have to stay until at least after the cake though which is often at the end….

I was also always taught that it was unacceptably rude to leave before the cake. But then I had a horrendous experience taking a kid to the party of a family I didn't know well, from a different culture - there were only a handful of kids from school but they were far outnumbered by extended family, and mine was too little to leave on their own. The other schoolkids and their parents slipped away after an hour or two and I was desperate to go as it was getting increasingly awkward and I had other commitments, but the hosts weren't showing any signs of cutting the cake. Finally, the cake was cut and we had some and made our excuses. Later, one of the relatives told me rather pointedly, "ooh, some people stayed for ages and ages, we couldn't get rid of them" which I assume was a jab at me being the last non-family person to leave. So I've come to the conclusion that for some cultural backgrounds, you don't have to wait for the cake to be cut. Would be interested to hear from anyone from cultural background where the cake rule doesn't apply!

@Seashore2018 Oh no 🙈🤣how awkward..does she never leave?!

Your toddler might not actually want to leave so would you really want to drag them away kicking and screaming.

I think kids parties should have a specific end time and ideally party bags as an incentive for kids to leave... At this age 2hrs is standard.

I only usually set parties for 1.5hr as I find they all get a bit mad or emotional after that. I wouldn’t mind at all if you left early and actually just said you’re feeling tired, just read the room in terms of how easy it is to slip out but you might find you enjoy it - fingers crossed.

Most kids parties last 2 hours and most stay until the end or just a few minutes before (e.g. they are going to another party with slight time clash). I think it would look odd to leave any sooner, those few minutes can’t be much benefit to you