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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hen do and Covid

17 replies

nanbread · 15/10/2021 13:55

Someone I saw on Tuesday, very briefly, tested positive for Covid yesterday. We probably chatted for a couple of minutes. Tomorrow I'm meant to be going on my friend's hen do - it's a small gathering but it's already been postponed a few times and I really want to go. AIBU? I'm double vacced and testing negative on lateral flow. I wish the govt hadn't landed these decisions on the individual, I'll be letting people down if I don't go but also possibly infecting them!

OP posts:

HedgehogintheFog · 15/10/2021 13:57

If lateral flow is negative you should go. Anyone could come into contact with someone with Covid, you have to rely on the tests.

2typesofjungle · 15/10/2021 13:58

What were the circumstances of the meeting - indoors or out, how close did you get?
Honestly, rightly or wrongly I'd probably still go to the hen.

Original poster

nanbread · 15/10/2021 14:02

Outdoors for v brief chat, we did hug though (but only for a second)

OP posts:

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 15/10/2021 14:05

The right thing to do is to tell the other people going, and then they can decide whether they want to take the risk of being in contact with you.

It’s not fair to have this knowledge and not pass it on to people you’re going to be in close proximity with, and have the additional disinhibition of alcohol in the mix.

Thethreecs · 15/10/2021 14:06

Many people who come into contact with a positive person, do not show signs themselves up until 3 days after.

LFT can and do show negative when you are positive.

If you were outdoors, 2 meters etc and it was minutes, the chances are slim.

Everyone is different, people pick it up, some don't. We can all tell different stories about people we know who did pick it up and who didn't. It depends on the viral load the other person was shedding.

I personally know of smeone who picked it up, eating outdoors sitting one seat away from the positive person, I also know people who live in the same home as the positive person and didn't get it.

It's a shitty decision to make, I'd probably ask the host what they think. I wouldn't just turn up and say nothing. See what they want. I know we're all going to be around positive people but to knowingly go somewhere when you've been in contact with a positive case would be frowned on.

ouchmyfeet · 15/10/2021 14:08

@MrsTulipTattsyrup

The right thing to do is to tell the other people going, and then they can decide whether they want to take the risk of being in contact with you.

It’s not fair to have this knowledge and not pass it on to people you’re going to be in close proximity with, and have the additional disinhibition of alcohol in the mix.

Completely disagree with this. Trust the tests, that's what they are for.

I'd do a LFT beforehand and go if negative.

Milkshake54 · 15/10/2021 14:23

When is the wedding? If it’s within 10days - imagine the bride not going to be able to go because you have got Covid without knowing.

However government guidelines say you can go and you have a negative LFT.

If it was me and the wedding was 2+ weeks away I’d go, if the wedding was within 2 weeks, I don’t think I could morally go, just incase.

Shoxfordian · 15/10/2021 14:24

If your test is negative then you should go

Wondergirl100 · 15/10/2021 14:27

You are very very unlikely to get Covid it is not transmitted outdoors. Am a bit bemused what you mean about govt leaving it to you to decide - what do you wish the govt would tell you?! If you wish you were being forced to quaruntine - quaruntine.

peboh · 15/10/2021 14:27

I'd speak to the bride and explain and see what she says. I personally wouldn't mind as long as your had negative tests, but others may and it wouldn't be fair to make that choice to put the risk on others without them knowing.

OneTC · 15/10/2021 14:30

I'd speak to the group and as pp said give thought to the timing of the wedding

Saoirse82 · 15/10/2021 14:31

Trust the tests, that's what they are for.

A lateral flow test? Are you joking? They are bordering on useless. Of course the OP should let the others know (and certainly the bride to be), especially if it's close to the wedding.

R0tational · 15/10/2021 14:34

90% accuracy @Saoirse82 - new research has found them to be more accurate than previously thought.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 15/10/2021 14:46

@Wondergirl100

Of course it can still be transmitted outdoors - germs aren’t scared of fresh air, they can just be blown away more easily. The sort of close contact represented by a hug, or a sneeze poorly caught, or a rub of the nose/eye and then a touch of the other person’s hand could all provide direct person to person contact and infection. Symptoms might not show for up to about 8 days, but you can still pass it on before then.

I really hate other people doing a risk assessment on my behalf without me knowing. I’d like to know that you’ve been in contact with someone who is infected so I can make up my own mind about whether I see you. It’s arrogant to assume you know better than I do how I want to protect myself and my loved ones.

Original poster

nanbread · 15/10/2021 14:48

The bride is fine with it, haven't mentioned to the others, wedding is a month away

OP posts:

Original poster

nanbread · 15/10/2021 14:50

Didn't want to drip feed, but the bride thinks one of the others may have a problem with it but has said she would much prefer I was there than the other friend was and to come anyway. I'm also meant to be giving one of them a lift.

When I said I wish govt would decide, either tell people to quarantine etc or tell them not to, not all this "strongly recommend" bollocks that the replies on this thread show can lead to very different views.

OP posts:

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/10/2021 15:12

I think if the bride is fine with it you should go, and trust the lft you’ve had.

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