For context, we have a 13 year old DS and DH has 3 older children from a previous marriage, who are all married with children. When DS was small DH worked away a lot so much of the parenting was left to me, with help from my parents. DS is generally a lovely boy - polite, grown up and helpful. But he is a teenager and can be lazy and has entered the ‘I know everything’ phase. I be worked with teenagers for 20 plus years so I’ve seen it all before.
Now DH has changed his job so is home a lot more and I’m getting really fed up with the way he deals with DS. For example, one of DSs chores is to feed the cats in the evening. Yesterday I noticed he was giving them biscuits instead of their pouch food (because it’s easier). DH starts muttering about DS being lazy and that he will turn the WiFi off etc etc. I go to speak to DS and have a chat with him about the fact that he needs to pouch feed them or they aren’t getting proper nutrition etc. DH comes in and start having a go at DS about it. He tried to say that it’s ok as we have discussed it and gets snapped at for answering back. I intervened and sent DS back to his PlayStation. This has happened a few times recently. DH seems to think that having a go at someone is an effective form of discipline. He makes wild statements like ‘No computer for a month’ and then doesn’t follow through with them. He will also talk over me when I’m dealing with an issue.
My step daughter (who I’m very good friends with) says he was like this when they were growing up and I know it’s how his late father was with him.
Would I be unreasonable to speak to DH about it before we have a major issue? So far things with DS have all been fairly trivial but I’m fully prepared for more serious things to crop up in the future. Does anyone else have a DH like this and is there any chance he will listen to me?