New job is making me stand in front of the entire department and say a 'fun fact' about myself - AIBU?

[thisisnotforme]

I started a new job recently, I've mainly been working remotely so have only met a handful of colleagues.

There is a big departmental in-person meeting next week, I am already dreading going to it because I'm really nervous to meet people in real life, even though I have been speaking to them on Teams I'm still nervous.

Today I got an email that they are going to use that meeting to introduce me to the team and they want to stand up in front of everyone and say a fun fact about myself.

I'm really shy and this is literally my worst nightmare.

A guy on a training course with me came out with a belter ‘My Aunty shagged Tom Jones’

Is it just you or lots of new people having to say fun facts?
If ur was just me I'd just say happy to introduce myself, not doing the fun fact.
If other people are doing it then I guess I'd do it too as would be weird if one person didn't do it.

On holiday in France I took a big gulp from a bottle of vinegar, thinking it was water (This actually happened to my brother)

Sorry, OP, but I'm firmly in the 'you just have to suck it up and do it" camp.

If you refuse to participate, this will be remembered, and not well, because everyone else also hates giving their own fact and will resent you opting out. If you give a lame fact and smile weakly, it will be instantly forgotten.

If it's any consolation, I spent a lot of time agonising over my interesting fact once and told an extremely lengthy (and actually impressive but weird) story to my small team. I think they were left wondering wtf had just happened. I still blush thinking of it.

I hate that kind of shit !! Sorry op no advice but serious sympathy. What’s wrong with employers that think this is necessary.

@shatteredmama

A guy on a training course with me came out with a belter ‘My Aunty shagged Tom Jones’

Was he called Tom Jones? If not, that sounds like a fact about his aunt.

I hate this sort of thing too BUT a fun fact doesn't have to be something that is literally funny it is just something that is interesting that shows you are a person beyond your job role and perhaps reveals a bit of your personality

I ran the marathon last year
I have 3 cats
I restore furniture in my spare time
I was born in Columbia
I love yoga

If you can't think of anything just make it up.

My mane is xxx and I have a cat called General Alphonsis Undercrqckers.

My company does that! Except I was hired at the beginning of lockdown when video conferencing was barely starting so mine was only written down in a newsletter, I’m soooo glad!

Uh - I hate this sort of thing.
There's bound to be someone famous that has the same birthday as you and then that can be your fun fact.
Hi, I'm Mollie and my fun fact is that I have the same birthday as David Bowie (or whoever).
No one will care what your fun fact is, they just need to know your name really.

'Hello, my name is thisisnotforme and I'm feeling a bit weird because this is my first day at work not wearing tracky bottoms.'

Mine was always 'hi I'm Nellie and I'm teaching myself to juggle'.

I wasn't.

I can't stand shit like this, why must we suck it up?

There seems to be no depths that mediocre middle-management plunge to in order to make life more interesting.

If it helps OP, whilst my favourite fun fact i ever used was completely ficticious, I used to be a Nun but was caught in flagrante with a Monk on St Michael's Mount, but was all bitter and twisted about it because i had to resign, being a nun (female) and the monk (male) got away with it; i didn't like to talk about it.

Oh just thinking about how they sucked up that 'story' is enough. But you can use it OP, still makes me laugh 25 years later.

I think you’ll draw more attention to yourself if you write to your manager and and say you don’t want to participate. I’d just think of a non offensive fairly bland fact and just go with that. People will tell you are a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing but won’t hold it against you as everyone feels this way about this type of stuff at work !

I think I’d tell them I’m a member of the National hide and seek team
Then hide….

OP, it could be far worse. I once had to do "shoot shag marry" as an icebreaker at a team building day. We were meant to say celebrities so I don't think me saying "I'd shoot myself right now" was quite the answer they were expecting.

Seriously though, I hate these things too. Completely unnecessary and not fun!

What about..

"My name is ThisIsNotForMe and my fun fact is that I was so nervous about this I posted it on a well known internet forum. Over 100 people posted me back and there wasn't a single suggestion that was suitable to repeat to you today."

It really helps if you have 2-3 days leading up to the Revelation that you adopt 'prayer hands' randomly whilst at your desk or generally just like some might rest their chin on their hand, chew their pen or scratch their head, you do 'prayer hands' when you know someone is looking.

Super helpful if you can arrange a 'leak' beforehand too.

I'm a fairly confident person but when it comes to stuff like this I hate it. I don't do anything 'fun' really so id just preface as that and say something really neutral like- I like watching series on Netflix, I enjoy going to the pub with my friends, like walking the dog etc.

Poor you OP. No doubt made up by some fucking corporate twat who is devoid of empathy and cannot understand why anyone wouldn’t want to stand up in a room and say a fun fact about themselves.

I would just think of something really dull and quick and just say it and sit back down. You have loads of time to pay your dues to this company and this ain’t the right circumstance.

Alternatively, your ‘fun fact’ could be “I posted about this on MN and they all think you’re a bunch of wankers”

I think the sharing a birthday one a PP suggested is a good idea - pick someone interesting or who you like. It's easy to remember and bland enough.

Mew-yonce.

I'm new in my team / department and on our dept call today our manager said hello to all who were new and named us. I liked that, made me feel very welcome. I managed not to wave on video although I felt like I should! Then people talked about the weather.