New job is making me stand in front of the entire department and say a 'fun fact' about myself - AIBU?

[thisisnotforme]

I started a new job recently, I've mainly been working remotely so have only met a handful of colleagues.

There is a big departmental in-person meeting next week, I am already dreading going to it because I'm really nervous to meet people in real life, even though I have been speaking to them on Teams I'm still nervous.

Today I got an email that they are going to use that meeting to introduce me to the team and they want to stand up in front of everyone and say a fun fact about myself.

I'm really shy and this is literally my worst nightmare.

Fuck that.
I'd be emailing them back saying no thanks 😂
My worst nightmare too.
Seriously though tell them no

Oh, I hate this, and truly sympathise! You can do this though. What's an interest of yours that is quirky? Or virtuous? A passion for a particular charity? Are you a cat or dog nutter? Worm farm? Knitting? An encyclopaedic knowledge of horse tack?

"I have vaginal warts in the shape of Elvis Presley's quiff"

🤣🤣

Oh God! That is awful.
I think I’d be coming down with D&V and be unable to attend the meeting.

Urgh God I hate that shit. You have my sympathy.

Deep breath!
Think of something in advance. Stand up, say it, smile, sit down.
You can do this. Good luck!

Just make some random shit up

Oh that's horrible, I'm fairly confident now and am used to giving talks to groups of people, but this would give me anxiety too.
The best advice is to either script something to read out or email back and tell them what you have told us.

No ones fact is ever very fun.

Oh no!

I challenge this type of crap wherever possible, I got nominated for some stupid prize I turned it down.

Can you email and say please can I be excused as it makes it very hard to meet colleagues this way?

Why do extroverts do this shit to introverts? We'd happily give you our turn you show offs

I think I'd make something up

That wasn't a boast by the way, it was a stupid prize as in one of those jokey fun ceremonies not fun for normal people

'hi I'm Sarah, Fun fact, I am really scared of standing up here in front of everyone' you'll get a laugh and can scurry back to your seat, or maybe everyone will be doing it as its a team building. This is a job skill, you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable to get better at them. Good luck.

Give them one 'fun' fact and two 'fun' lies and tell them their fun will be they can work out the true fact. Then the challenge can be on them rather than you.

Just make some random shit up

This is what I always do, and I wish other people would too because their facts are always boring.

We had to do this once and honestly people were talking about climbing mountains and heroic feats, am already an introvert and this made me feel like real shit.

@WorraLiberty

"I have vaginal warts in the shape of Elvis Presley's quiff"

🤣🤣

😂😂😂

Just be brief - my name is x, my fun fact is Y them smile and sit down

I had to do something similar this week, with no warning lol - I just told people my background and was happy to be working with the team and the reasons why

It's fine - good luck

This is awful, who are the people who actually like this nonsense?
Just say something very brief and bland like “I had a cat called Beyoncé”. Then give a big fake smile and sit down.

If anyone tries to make you say more, just say “no, that’s it, that’s the fun fact”

“Fun fact: I hate ice-breakers.”

I think you just have to suck it up and get on with it, otherwise you will kind of draw more attention to yourself if you see what I mean. I say this as a seriously shy person, especially in my 20s. I used to be terrified of meetings but I’ve forced myself so many times over the years to ‘fake it til I make it’ that I find it much easier now. Not saying it would work for everyone but for me it’s a sort of exposure therapy that has worked. I’m in my 40s now. Just make something silly up. It will only be two minutes and then you can relax. Probably everyone is dreading it as much as you are even if they seem confident. Stuff like this is so cringe. Best of luck

At least you have warning so have time to make up/come up with something. It is that moment at the start of an event when an ‘ice-breaker’ is announced that is the worst. I’d say something deeply innocuous and dull like ‘I bake the best brownies’ - I certainly wouldn’t say anything personal.

I’d dread that completely!

That’s very good @GoWalkabout !

This is a job skill, you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable to get better at them. Who needs to get better at pointless crap like this? Being the kind of bore who does this is a negative trait.