Health anxiety stuff

[Sapphire387]

Hi all,

Background, I have really bad health anxiety since losing my DH to cancer.

I've noticed that one side of my vulva seems thicker/more fleshy than the other, like if I press in near my vagina, it feels like there is a bulge (like extra muscle or something) and I keep debating whether it's a lump. I am going mad convincing myself that I have cancer.

Does this sound 'normal' to anyone? I mean the physical thing. Obviously my reaction is quite bad and I am in the middle of getting help for the anxiety.

I will speak to my GP. I suppose I am just looking for a hand hold / some reassurance.

Hi op! Sorry to hear about your DH, I can understand where your feelings of anxiety are coming from.

In all honesty, not a single person on here can tell you if it's normal or not - if it's a change in your own body and unusual for you you've noticed I'm glad you're getting it checked out. I'm sure that your GP will be the best person to look at it for you and get you the appropriate treatment (if any is even needed!).

Bodies can change as we get older, it may just be that because you're more cautious at the moment you've noticed it and it's been there forever. Sending all of my positive thoughts to you that you can have this sorted quickly!

Thank you @MrzClaus, that's very kind of you

Bartholins cyst possibly. It's sensible to consult your doctor.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it's hard.

@Sapphire387 💐

Thank you @stonebrambleboy

Hi
I have health anxiety too. Its tricky. One of the big learns for me was not to reach out for reassurance although its entirely understandable why you would. In the end nobody can reassure you enough so you continue the cycleof being anxious. If you can get a medical appointment that will be the best. Sorry for the loss of your husband.

@Colin56 you are right, I'm in a really bad spiral today. GP is calling me in the morning. Thank you.

[quote Sapphire387]@Colin56 you are right, I'm in a really bad spiral today. GP is calling me in the morning. Thank you.[/quote]
I know the feeling. Its awful and to get out of feeling uncomfortable you try to check, read up, google, get reassurance. A few things I found that worked - a long walk or run, a cold shower (really!) and repeating to yourself that you have to live in the present moment and cannot think about the past or the future. If you can develop that skill you will be much better. I also looked at the anxiety cycle/ vicious cycle too to understand the pre-contemplation etc..
'The happiness Trap' is a book I used a lot and it really helped. I send best wishes I know how distressing it is especially if it feels you are being proactive and logical.

Hi @Sapphire387, if it's not something you've already explored, would you be up for CBT? In my area (and probably others) you can self refer and do CBT online (SilverCloud). I found it hard work but ultimately helpful - not a magic bullet but part of a tool kit of management strategies!

One of the tools is called Worry Trees, which you can get a separate (free) app for, but it's a really good way of de-escalating in your own mind by breaking down the worry into logical vs illogical and working out what you can do to feel more in control. They really help me, might be worth a try?

@EnterFunnyNameHere thank you, I will look up worry trees!

I tried CBT with a therapist and that didn't work so well, however I am currently having EMDR because they think the anxiety is driven by PTSD from what happened to my late DH. It is bringing up a lot of stuff and they did warn me it might get worse before it gets better...

Sadly I found the same "worse before it got better"... I tried to console myself with the adage that nothing worth doing is ever easy, and it will be worth it in the long run. Plus - don't forget to give yourself credit for actually doing something about it, that really is the hardest bit!

But yes, try worry trees, it won't be "the" solution, but if it helps take the edge off, then that's still a great achievement

Good luck!!

I too have always suffered with health anxiety and had a tough time 8 months ago (triggered by covid stuff). My gp prescribed sertraline as they work on anxiety as well as being antidepressants. It took me months to pluck up the courage to take them as I had major panics about side effects. However, things came to a head and I gritted my teeth and started them. Within a week, my anxiety had melted away and, despite a few minor side effects, I pushed on. I started a course of CBT but didn't find it overly useful. I am on a low dose (50mg) and am in a totally different place now. I'm not trying to push meds on you but I imagine your gp may try to prescribe something similar. Like me you may think "no way am I taking those". Just wanted to let you know my experience and that I wish I had seen my gp many years ago - all those years of struggling and battling alone.x

@Mrsblobbyspants thank you! I am glad the meds are helping you. Can I ask what sort of difference you feel? Like did you used to have spiralling worries? What happens now?

You have reminded me that I need to push the GP for a full ADHD assessment- I saw a psychiatrist who is strongly convinced I have it and that I should go through whatever assessment it is they do! So I think that would be different meds but yes, I probably do need to be taking something.

Can I also just say a massive thank you to all of you, you have been so kind and I really needed that today. Thank you.

I suffer from generalised anxiety - I would spiral out of control over the littlest things. I would get myself into an absolute state where I would lie awake all night with my heart pounding and my brain whirring.
One day I realised that I couldn't live like that and had nothing to lose so I grabbed my first tablet and took it. I sat there all day waiting for horrible side effects to start but apart from a bit of a headache and a dry mouth I was fine. By the end of the first week, I just couldn't be bothered to worry about anything. I didn't feel numb, I just felt chilled. It was such an amazing feeling and I started sleeping like a log. I have spoken to my gp and she has said to give them 6 months then we can discuss whether to wean myself off them. At this point I really don't want to stop taking them as I feel so much better. We'll see, I guess.

All my life I have just got on with things so it was hard to admit I needed help. My gp was so lovely - she was supportive and non-judgmental. I hope your gp is the same. We aren't robots, we all need help sometimes. My daughter is being assessed for ADHD and struggles a lot, so I imagine how you feel with that and coping with the loss of your DH. That's a lot to deal with.
I hope things go well with your gp and you get the support you need and deserve.x

@Mrsblobbyspants it's really good you were able to seek help and have a lovely GP. Mine tend to be lovely too. Must have been such a relief to you to feel better after all those years. I agree with you- I don't want to suffer in silence!

Hope all goes well with your daughter's assessment and that they find the answers and help she needs