Cat shit in cupboard

[NCForNosies]

Me and DH have endless discussions about him tidying. He will help if there's lots of moaning but not on his own accord.

I've moaned I need support for him to do some of the housework on a regular basis. It seems he'd be fine to leave it until someone wants to come over but I've had enough of it.

He gets our DC ready in the morning then I do school drop off and the pick up. I work full time (as does he) and I am also doing a course at the moment for a professional qualification. During the day, I get a coffee from the kitchen and load the washing/dishwasher or clean the bathroom, tidy generally for a couple of minutes as the kettle boils and tea brews. I'm struggling with it all to the point that a month into this course I'm thinking about flushing £2k down the drain and walking away.

I've said this to DH before but today I've really hammered it home that I need him to support me by doing more around the house. I just need him to tidy and actually put stuff in their places wash up a few bits which can't go in the dishwasher and/or unload it, etc.

After, I mentioned a weird smell from the cupboard where we keep the bag of cat litter. I said it smelt like cat poo and he says "ah...well..." He's only put a bag of cat poo in there! WHY?! Because we had guests and he didn't know where to put it...on Saturday.

Am I asking for too bloody much? Does a bag of cat shit in the cupboard make any sense to you? AIBU??!

Wtf that's not acceptable and very weird. Why didn't he throw it in the bin?

Apparently, our bin (an under shelf one) was full. Don't see why he'd put it there anyway and don't see why he wouldn't pop out to the wheelie bin!

Completely agree. We try and make sure we take our cat poo straight out to wheelie bin. Occasionally it ends up in the normal bin but a cupboard-absolutely not?!

Oh my god OP. I'd be livid. And I'd give up doing ANYTHING domestic for him until he learns how to be an adult. Washing dishes, cooking food, his laundry; if he thinks its appropriate to leave a bag of cat poo in a cupboard for FIVE DAYS because the bin was full, he has a long way to go...

God OP I'm sorry. Don't give up on your qualification though, it's temporary, you can do it!

That’s probably the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read on here where husbands are concerned.

How can you find someone that woefully incompetent sexually attractive or see them as an adult capable of contributing in a meaningful way in the family.

Would he leave the proverbial cat poo bag in the kitchen at work? There lies your answer about what he thinks of you OP. Wilful incompetence is such a turn off.

I did flip after laughing in disbelief at first. There were lots of expletives.

He is fixing his bike and has been for an hour so he can ride to work. He had three months to get his car fixed/replaced and didn't because me planning things like a meal with friends or a walk a couple of hours of one day of a weekend is too much. I hope to fuck that bag of cat shit has already been in the bin.

Can you tell the poo is the tip of the iceberg?

That is appalling. Tell us why you are with this incompetent idiot.

Awful. Learned helplessness

So the bin was full and he ignored that and didn't empty it???

FFS!

He treats you like a slave. I'm really messy but live alone so don't care. When you live with others you should respect them enough to pitch in, not have others cleaning up your mess.

For me it would be a silent strike. Dont do any of his washing, or food, and no sex. See how long he takes to notice. You can do communal bits like bathroom but anything that would hurt him if he didn't bother doing it, like running out of clothes, just quietly stop doing them.

I fear he will drive you slowly mad OP.

He doesn't treat me like a slave, he does cook without asking and he's fantastic at it, to be fair. He tends not to use much equipment so I can't say he makes that harder for me and he will wash up but usually when required or if I ask.

He's forever said "well all you need to do is ask" but fuck that. He has eyes and I don't have anyone asking me.

He has some great qualities, I'm just so bloody sick and tired of these on top of life as it is. I'm wondering if cat poo is my final straw.

Hes choosing the enjoyable, engaging job that he's good at, and ignoring the boring stuff and leaving it to you though.

I like cooking, but can't stand putting laundry away. So guess what get left on the air dryer for days because I'm "too busy" but I still manage to cook elaborate meals

We tend to chuck ours out the window.
Litter tray is in the bathroom and bathroom window is above near bins so we bag it and drop the bag out of the window and every time we go out “check for poo bags” then “no don’t get straight in the car go back to bathroom and wash your hands” bonkers yes but better than sticking it in a cupboard!

God, I thought my pre-teen daughter was a monkey for hiding crap in her cupboard.
Never, EVER was it actual shit.
What the fuck was he thinking? Is he even a fully grown adult?

Has he explained why he didn't
A- take the full bin to wheelie , particularly as guests arriving will only put firther strain upon an already full bin?

B- if he had reason not to take the full bin out- why didn't he take the poo alone out?

C- why , if both were impossible (you live on an estate where the wheelie bin is a drive away in battering rain) didn't he REMEMBER OR CARE BEFORE NOW?!?!

@Cocopogo

We tend to chuck ours out the window. Litter tray is in the bathroom and bathroom window is above near bins so we bag it and drop the bag out of the window and every time we go out “check for poo bags” then “no don’t get straight in the car go back to bathroom and wash your hands” bonkers yes but better than sticking it in a cupboard!

That's also a bit weird but at least it's outside

Hes choosing the enjoyable, engaging job that he's good at, and ignoring the boring stuff and leaving it to you though.

Yes, I'd definitely say he does what he wants and leaves what he doesn't. Until I have a moan.

He's said he forgot as DC had put something in the litter tray and it wouldn't fit in the bin so he panicked whilst people were here and put it in the cupboard. Then he forgot.

He put it in the wheelie bin then thought he'd just use something to deodorise it. I asked him to scrub the cupboard and there was definitely some huffing from him

We have distinct jobs in our house, eg I do all the laundry and financial planning, he does all the dishes and pet care.

Its really helped me feel less resentful (my ideal baseline is much tidier than his) and with some boundaries like "I'll make sure you don't run out of pants, you make sure the kitchen is tidy before bed" it means that neither one of us is nagging the other. That said, I'd lose my mind at cat poo in a cupboard 🥴

Is he a child?

@Sparklfairy

Hes choosing the enjoyable, engaging job that he's good at, and ignoring the boring stuff and leaving it to you though.

I like cooking, but can't stand putting laundry away. So guess what get left on the air dryer for days because I'm "too busy" but I still manage to cook elaborate meals

Yeah my dh is like this. Will tinker with cars, mow lawn, basically anything like that.. but pick up the Hoover? Nope. Clean a bench? Fuck no!

All I can say is it bloody stinks. He's scrubbed and put something in their to take the smell away but I'm still angry.

I've now very stupidly said I'll take all cat pop outside if left bagged up by the door and he lets me know straight away so I can do it.

Wtf??

He tinkered with his bike for ages yesterday and I have no idea what was actually done!

Why would you put cat turd in a cupboard?
Wouldn't it be more sensible to put it in a bin...or next to the litter tray... outside the door...actually anywhere except a fucking cupboard. Where you eat

I'd go ape if anyone put the cat shit in the kitchen bin if I'm honest! But the cupboard?!