AIBU - crap gifts?

[Stresssssedout]

Need someone to tell me to give my head a wobble because I know I’m probably over reacting by being upset. My birthday is next week and DP has been asking me for a while what I’d like. There’s nothing really in particular but I told him a few things I thought were nice and told him one thing I definitely did not want.

I told him this because I’ve mentioned in passing it was nice and was worried he would buy it me. I didn’t say this because of the price or anything I just don’t want it. He was just showing me a screenshot of something on his phone and I swiped back and it was a screenshot of the order number for the thing I told him not to buy me. I’m just feeling like he’s just not bothered listening to me here at all. He’s only just bought it as well so this was after I told him I didn’t want it. I know I should feel grateful for any gift it just feels like a cop out. I haven’t told him I saw the screenshot.

@Flowiththego

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted that. Was a (crap!) joke.

It is what popped into my head too, actually

Could he have placed a bid on the item before you'd said you didn't want it?

@MoreThanAnOffDay

Am I the only one wondering what the present is?

No. I too am wondering what is it and what's wrong with owning it.

Is this a one-off OP? Is he usually kind and thoughtful but he's made a mistake this one time? Or is this typical of him?

I'm also desperate to know what it is.

@HuhWhatNow

Don't these men have jobs? Surely you need some level of cognitive ability to remain in employment?

This with spades on.

These men are supposed to be fully functional adult human beings. They hold down jobs, sometimes they even manage people/systems/processes. They'd not get something like that wrong at work. Why do they think it's ok to be lazy/demonstrate such a lack of care at home?

My ex would do this. All that would go into his head was the mention of the item and the "I do not want that item" would sail right on over. So for his birthday I bought him a thing that he absolutely hated, having mentioned it several times. I said "Oh.....I just remember you mentioning it" and oddly enough, I got a much better gift for my birthday 2 months later. Mind you, that was after Lawn Mower Gate......

OP you dont have to accept it....

I am really bad for buying something I collect and saying to my husband... oh I will give it to you to wrap for me cause at least I get the one I want... well he told me off the other day and said that perhaps he would like to actually look for a present for me and make the decision.... I now worry about what I will get but will trust he will try to get me something i will like and appreciate.

I would love to know what he has got you though.... I don't come across stuff that I like but wouldnt want to own .....

I usually have sympathy for people who aren't wonderful gift-givers, because it's something I struggle with myself, to come up with the perfect gift. However, given that you had a recent conversation specifically explaining that you didn't want this (apparently unique) item, it does seem odd that he should go right out and order it!

Does he have a bad memory or become easily confused? I'm assuming not, but even if so, you'd expect him to to remember a recent conversation where you told him, "Please don't buy me X!"

I don't think it's unreasonable to frustrated, under these circumstances, particularly if it can't be returned.

I’d eat my hat if he bought someone else the present because it really is that specific. I’ve calmed down a bit today, thanks guys. Looks like I’ll be stuck with it so I’ll probably have a word with him but nothing else I can do!

Please can’t you just tell us what it is?

This is why a gift should come from a shop or a business - so you can return it when your DP fucks it up and gets the wrong thing.

My otherwise wonderful DP bought me a painting last Christmas - we had been in an art gallery and my dad had just bought me a painting (seascape) by a particular artist that I had admired and there were 5 other paintings of wild animals - absolutely amazing - I loved the lion, DP loved the black panther but they were far too big for my house. Christmas morning he turns up with this MASSIVE painting of the panther- well over a metre square!! Its far too big for my house and totally dominates the room where it hangs although it is lovely. But I preferred the lion. And said it was too big! He even bought it the same day we were in there so can't say he forgot what I said . I've come to the conclusion that even those who love me the most just don't listen most of the time

I think the "sticks in the mind but the 'I don't want it'' bit goes right over the head' is right. Ages ago SIl asked me what I was buying DH (her Dbro) for Christmas. When I told her, she asked very specific questions (what size it was, what colour, etc) and then went and bought him the exact same thing! I don't think she was being a bitch cos she's not like that - she didn't know what to buy him and the fact that she knew I was buying it sort of escaped her.