Who is bu

[CountingMyChickens21]

DC is 15 months old.

I'll try and keep this as brief and neutral as possible.

Parent 1 does not want DC to be left with parent 2's sister and partner mostly because they don't agree with their parenting style regarding things such as discipline. Although there has never been cause for concern with their DC, neither have done anything wrong but wants their sister to be able to look after DC.

Parent 2 agrees that they have different parenting styles from their sister and partner but is willing to let both sisters look after DC if they ask, but if there's anything that raises concern to stop any outings. Parent 2 has said if Parent 1 is not willing to let their sister look after DC then they will support this, although they disagree but will not allow either sister to look after DC.

Who is bu here?

Oops I didn't mean to enable voting.

I don't think time outs are strict as such, just not either of our styles. @Tal45 Exactly my point about time outs, very unlikely they would ever feel the need to put our DC in a time out. When the time comes, we would rather look at other ways in terms of punishment. There would definitely be a punishment when needed. For whatever reason DH doesn't want them looking after DC unsupervised and there is no real need at the moment anyway. I just feel it's unfair to allow one and not the other without good reason.

Timeouts are fairly standard parenting strategies.
What are your plans for if eg a teacher has cause you tell your child off?

@CountingMyChickens21

Oops I didn't mean to enable voting.

I don't think time outs are strict as such, just not either of our styles. @Tal45 Exactly my point about time outs, very unlikely they would ever feel the need to put our DC in a time out. When the time comes, we would rather look at other ways in terms of punishment. There would definitely be a punishment when needed. For whatever reason DH doesn't want them looking after DC unsupervised and there is no real need at the moment anyway. I just feel it's unfair to allow one and not the other without good reason.

What do you mean by one and not the other? You aren't being clear. Do you each have a sister and he's ok with one babysitting and not the other?

Does it really matter either way, it's not for life, just a brief period, surely the kids will cope

@arethereanyleftatall we are a long way off from that but I suppose it would be completely dependent on what DC was in trouble for.

@Anonymous48 both DH and me have a sister. DH is saying he doesn't want my sister to look after DC. Both my sister and DH's sister have expressed wanting to take DC out for days out, but hasn't got very strong reasons for saying no to my sister. So I have said if that's how you feel, fine but we haven't been given any reason to doubt that DC would be safe with my sister as her and BIL have never done anything to concern us about them looking after DC. So I have said either both of our sister's can take DC out if they ask or neither. Obviously if there was any reason to doubt either sister, then it won't happen again.

Your DH is being ridiculous, doesn't want your sister to have your child unsupervised because she puts her own kids in time out 🤦🏼‍♀️

Can I just also say that being a parent is very different to being an auntie I have never disciplined my siblings children and I never would.
All this drama over a time out that hasn't even happened to your own child.

Hopefully your sister won't find out as she's likely to be pretty offended that she apparently isn't capable of being left unsupervised with your child.

@Pinkspecs definitely! Although my own DC is still small. I have never disciplined my sister's children aside from asking them not to do something if my sister is not around. I think it's a non-issue. We are lucky to have two auntie's willing to take our DC out ocassionally but won't favour one over the other when there is no danger to my child.

Honestly, your DH is being completely over the top precious. Unless there's some huge backstory about your sister behaving badly/taking the piss/doing something that you/DH have specifically asked her to, it's hard to get my head around him refusing to let her do fun stuff with your DC because she puts her children on time out!?

Your DH is being ridiculous and I'd be concerned about what the next OTT, unfounded "rule" he's planning to put in place is.

What's going to happen when the children go to school and the school do things differently?

People do things differently. Aunties are not supposed to parent your child, but if they are looking after them, then you should expect their to be rules and boundaries that work for them.

Ok with that information your DH is definitely BU

@Triffid1 no backstory. My sister is very different from me, but she does things her way and I do things mine. But I do know that she loves my DC and would look after him as though he was hers.

@TheChip obviously when it comes to school we'll have to cross that bridge. Of course there has to be boundaries even with family.