Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To think my dh's slobbish ways are grounds for divorce(rant alert).

26 replies

milkymill · 09/12/2007 11:28

These things which are so facking insignificant to him are driving me nuts!!
Clothes, towels always left all over the bathroom floor and never picked up. Okay he does his fair share of washing dishes and cooking but outright refuses to ever wipe a work surface after he's used it, or even put rubbish in the bin. I mean - how much effort does it actually take to open a bin rather than leaving it on the kitchen counter!

The man is a complete slob. He's currently in the garden 'making something' out of wood ; and I've just had to tell him off for chucking old nails near on to the lawn edges!! How stupid can you be ffs, we have 2 children .

[takes deep breaths] I'm seriously considering becoming a lesbian; surely no woman could ever be this bad?

OP posts:

cheeset · 09/12/2007 11:30

I am in the same boad, dh just got up.

cheeset · 09/12/2007 11:32

meant Boat ha ha, Sprays bikes on the grass, leaves wood shavings all ova the garden/under car port, leaves drills lying around shouts at kids for using them, leaves boxes in hallway, leaves coats on backs of chairs and I trip ova them and the shoes that he leaves lying around, want me to go on?.

Saturn74 · 09/12/2007 11:36

I am a bit of a slob - or rather, I can always find something more interesting to do than housework.

DH is a marvel, and never moans at me.

But we do have defined chores that we each do - maybe you could do the same?

Perhaps the problem is that your DH knows you will do everything if he doesn't, so he doesn't bother?

Or maybe he just needs to know what he's in charge of, so he can do it without being reminded (AKA nagged )?

Original poster

milkymill · 09/12/2007 11:37

I know, the list would be endless! Makes my blood the way I'm accused of being 'hyper' and obsessive when, I swear no other woman would put up with some of these habits.

He does pull his weight, just refuses to do anything in a remotely tidy or clean manner and doesn't give a sh*t.

OP posts:

Original poster

milkymill · 09/12/2007 11:38

Blood boil.

OP posts:

DeePancrisPaneven · 09/12/2007 11:47

Don't you gals every road-test these men before selecting one??? Or quizz closely,or demand evidence of ability to wipe own bum, for example. That sort of thing.......>

Original poster

milkymill · 09/12/2007 11:49

Dh is very self sufficient etc, just makes a great bloody mess while he's doing it .

OP posts:

beeper · 09/12/2007 15:56

Cant be a complete slob you said 'he does his fair share of washing up and cooking'.

Lots of women put up with lots of worse habits.

hippipotTEDCHRISTMASTREEami · 09/12/2007 16:09

Good grief, he sounds like a normal man to me??

Dh will hoover when asked, and will make a loaf of bread, but that is as far as it goes. Oh, he will make a cup of tea if asked too (but will never offer [ghmm])

He leaves a pile of recycling on the worktop instead of putting it in the recycling box, he will leave crumbs all over the worktop, clothes on the bedroom chair. However, he ALWAYS hangs up his towel after a bath/shower

He also has the annoying habit of having 5 decorating projects on the go at once, at the moment I have half-sanded loft stairs, a half-varnished loft floor, and a half-plastered bedroom wall. It drives me insane! I put it down to the fact that as a male he has the attention span of an ant and can't stick to any given task for long

hippipotTEDCHRISTMASTREEami · 09/12/2007 16:10

What is [ghmm] meant to be? Should be !

mumiyumi · 09/12/2007 17:06

Really fed up today,i'm just the general dogsbody!!! Now hubby in a huff as i told him how i feel, should have just kept my mouth shut.....another ruined weekend!

Anna8888 · 09/12/2007 17:09

Other people's mess is gross. Everyone should clear up their own shit just as soon as they are physically able to do so.

Poor you... don't know about the divorce, though. Has he other redeeming characteristics?

mumiyumi · 09/12/2007 17:11

He does pick his towel up, but other than that at this moment i can't think, i'm too much in an anti mood !!!

Anna8888 · 09/12/2007 17:14

I don't think picking up his own towel is a redeeming characteristic (everyone ought to pick up his/her own towel).

Redeeming characteristics might be:

earns an awful lot of money and lets you spend it
does all the grocery shopping
looks after the children for a whole day every weekend while you do whatever you like

etc etc

mumiyumi · 09/12/2007 17:19

Yes he does earn alot of money, and lets me spend it
looks after our son every pm whilst i go to work
i just wish he'd notice the washing up after tea or the fact it's tea or bath time!!

Am i being unreasonable?

Anna8888 · 09/12/2007 17:24

How many hours a week does he work, how many hours a week do you work, and what %age of family income does he earn and you earn?

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 09/12/2007 17:37

I've got a DP like this.

He works nights - Gets in at 7am and makes some dinner for himself, a cup of tea and plays on the computer. (All while I'm still in bed) All the things he's used for the above is left in a mess in the kitchen (we have a bin with a push lid, he always takes the lid off every morning) the cup and plate is left on top of the computer.

I get up - Make myself a cup of tea and put my teaspoon straight into the dishwasher = along with all his stuff he's used.

I spend the morning watching abit of TV while he plays on the computer (Facebook) then he goes to bed about 11am.

I then spend that time tidying up after him, his clothes need washing (washing machine is broken) cat's need feeding and cleaning out.

Make myself some dinner and settle to watch an hour of TV before!

He gets up at 9pm () and gets ready for work - Cue towells and clothes on the floor in the bedroom.

He goes to work, I then spend from 10pm till I got to bed, cleaning the bedroom, putting all the towels and clothes he's thrown on the floor into the washbin, putting the stuff he's used for shower and shave away!!

I'm 36 weeks preg so not working at the moment but still!!

cirena · 09/12/2007 20:26

Interesting question Anna, my dp is not messy (doesn't leave towels or clothes lying around), but really does v little about the house. He will look after my dc's for a few hours at the weekend if I need to go out somewhere and pays half of all the household costs. He works 37.5 hours a week, I work 20. He earns 66% of the household income. Does this sound reasonable?? (sorry for hijack)

JinglyJangly · 09/12/2007 20:29

Not all women are neat and tidy. I am a bit of a slob and would rather do anything before ironing or cleaning/tidying house. My DH isn't that neat and tidy but he is better than me .

soopermum1 · 09/12/2007 20:40

which is the greater offence? wet towels on the bathroom floor or on the bed? DH goes for the latter option. i have, over the years, learned to get over it and concentrate more on...

leaving the kitchen like a bloody bombsite when he cooks, i honestly prefer cooking as i know i don't have all the cleaning up afterwards

leaves his dirty clothes all over the house, like the floor and the chairs are his personal wardrobe

leaves all sorts of dangerous stuff- drill, scissors around etc

empities his pockets out every night by the fishtank and leaves receipts etc all over the place

gets pissed off when i tidy up aforementioned items as he can't them find them

and the good points? he's great in bed

cherryredretrochick · 09/12/2007 20:50

That sounds like enough of a good poiny to balance out the rest

Anna8888 · 10/12/2007 09:27

Cirena - it's not clear from your post whether your DP is the father of your children or not. If he is, I would tend to think he is not pulling his weight...

cirena · 10/12/2007 15:43

No, he's not - but should that make that much of a difference if we all live together? I don't really expect 50% help with the childcare, but would hope for a bit more input on the housework!

Anna8888 · 10/12/2007 15:58

Yes, I do think that whether your DP is the father of your children or not makes a difference as to what you can expect of him on the housework/childcare/financial contribution front, and it's a very tricky issue that has to be negotiated.

I'm a stepmother - my partner has two sons from his first marriage - and my partner definitely does more for the boys than he does for our daughter when they are with us. I do do a lot for the boys, but I am not their parent and there are things that don't want to do.

I don't want to pronounce on exactly how you share things out between you as I think it is immensely difficult.

mumiyumi · 10/12/2007 19:14

It's very difficult, men are a breed of their own we moan and moan but still tidy up after them, have a rant now and again, things may change for a week or so but slowly slip back.
My hubby works 40hrs (nights) and i work 12hrs, but don't think it's unreasonable for help with the house chores!

But i do love him dearly

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread