To expect information on NRP contact time?

[Missingmybabies]

Was with STBXH for over 10 years. Acrimonious split last year early in pregnancy with DC2. dd is now 10 months old and going for longer contact periods with dad.

Dad does not spend time in my home with her. No overnights as yet. We share an older child also.

She had recently been going for longer periods, 6 hours, 8 hours and I hear nothing all day about her. Very, very limited information at drop off when I ask, eg when she last had a bottle. Unpleasant interactions all round.

I'm hugely, hugely uncomfortable about the silence when she is gone. I have no idea where or when she sleeps, what she eats (has some intolerances) what she does other than what my older child tells me. I do not want to have to rely on my older child relating information, it is not fair on them.

Baby come home yesterday after one of these longer visits. She screamed all night in pain, trapped wind, being sick, generally miserable. I ask her dad what she's eaten and it's like pulling teeth and the insinuation I'm being entirely unreasonable in asking. He actually didn't even take the day off work, instead worked from home and had his parents watch them both at his top floor flat, despite Me being off work this week. They took the eldest for a short walk, but not the youngest.

Some mild concerns exist regarding care of older child, nothing too worrying, but things like way too much screen time, age inappropriate content, diet and being left to it while dad works, missing school and extra curricular activities.

No.photos or updates of either child when not in my care, nothing. Just 8 hours of deafening silence. When she is at childcare, I get updates, photos, know what she's eaten, nappies etc.

AIBU to ask for these?

Thanks for the responses. Have considered them all.

At no point did i say I expected hourly updates, or of every wet nappy. Not knowing how your baby has spent the majority of their waking hours is weird, and totally unneeded. I am surprised at how many of you would be completely ok with this for such a young child.

He will not use a food diary for her intolerances. He will not use a coparent app. He will not use anything i suggest at all. I think pp is correct, the silence is a form of control.

I send all information to him regarding the older one by text on transition days. The younger one i give all information at collection.

I am critical of him, yes absolutely. He's a petulant toddler in a man suit.

is the contact court ordered?

doesn't sound like he's doing anything wrong at all

I’m a bit on the fence, for example my DD has gone to nursery full time since 6 months, I’ve really no interest in what’s she eaten she she’s there…as long as she has which of course I know she has. I’ve no interest in her nappies etc. But the huge thing is I trust them implicitly with my child, I trust them to care for her and I know they do.

Do you trust him?

But the point is that you can't make him. And therefore is it worth expanding energy on it.

Unless you think he's an actual danger. In which case you need to go to court to amend contact