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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another annoying parent thread..

6 replies

RoseChampagne · 12/10/2021 20:55

So we have finally rebooked our holiday to see my in laws family, and my sister. We were meant to go last October but couldn't due to Covid.
Last time we booked over a year in advance and let my parents know that we were going. Immediately my mum says " oh maybe we will book too!" I had to politely ask her not to - as its our holiday and with the other side of the family and my parents behave different around the in-laws and I see them (my folks) alot but obviously don't see my sister or my inlaws alot. ( and I actually really like them ) anyway she was hurt and put out ( bearing in mind they had literally just seen my sister a month before I broke this news to them) any way rambling back story -
This time we have booked I have asked the other side of the family not to mention our trip yet to my parents as I don't want them to try and book a ticket at the same time ( and neither does my sister as she really doesn't get on with them - they are selfish and difficult )
My husband thinks I am being unreasonable and told me I should just tell them because they will be hurt if they find out from someone else, so I told his family members not to tell them - Now I look like the bad one - (they have no idea of the issues in our family)
so do I tell my parents and if they mention they will get tickets hurt their feelings again and say no please let us go alone
Or... wait a couple of weeks when the tickets are so pricey that they simply just can't afford to come.
My mum is very jealous of mine and my sisters relationship as we are SO close and my sister simply can't stand my mum..
thoughts???

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 12/10/2021 21:07

I wouldn’t mention it for quite a few months. If they ask just say that you thought you’d mentioned it.

shockedNeighbour · 12/10/2021 21:08

This sounds like a bizarre family dynamic. Both sides of the family should fully appreciate that there will be times that you as a couple will spend with either side without the other side getting involved.

If they can't understand that then you need a honest and forthright conversation about it to prevent this situation repeating in future.

Getyourownback · 12/10/2021 21:14

This all sounds a bit sad. Sad

RoseChampagne · 12/10/2021 21:49

@Getyourownback - it is really isn't it - my side of the family its like walking on egg shells :(

OP posts:
RoseChampagne · 12/10/2021 22:15

@shockedNeighbour, its my parents - my mum mainly jealous of me seeing my sister and having a better relationship - if my sister wasn't in the same country as my in-laws she wouldn't even bother, but she seems to get jealous when I spend time with my sister and her family as she would love to have the relationship we do ... family huh????

OP posts:
RoseChampagne · 20/10/2021 22:30

Update - I told them and I shouldn't have - My dad is now sending my sister and I on a guilt trip - saying They can't travel cos they aren't well enough ( FFS they can't travel cos they simply just cant afford it at this time of year) and going on about them being ALL alone for Xmas - bearing in mind they have heaps of friends and have a better social life than I do!. Also got a call from my dad going off at me that the Trip for my sister to visit us at the holiday home ( in the same country) is too expensive and we should invite her family to stay with the inlaws house (WTAF) my sister is absolutely find spending the money to see us!!
Just a rant really but if you have any clever come backs to my jealous father they are welcome

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