Would this annoy you?

[GertrudeKerfuffle]

My sister was supposed to be coming round to ours this evening for dinner, but let me know this morning she wouldn't be coming as she's snowed under with work. Fine, I know she's susceptible to stress and we see her pretty often, this isn't a special occasion. The kids are disappointed but that's kids for you.

I noticed on Facebook that her husband has posted and tagged her that they're doing an activity together they both like this afternoon. I feel like I've been lied to and this kind of stuff can play on my mind. Would you feel annoyed? Would you say anything? I submit to your wisdom

I’d text her “how’s the archery going” or whatever the activity is.

I'd comment.
Ooh, that looks lovely, glad you had fun.

Maybe she's working tonight though, isn't that when you're meant to meet?

It wouldn't bother me. She had to make room somewhere in her schedule for this additional work and she decided that non-special occasion dinner with you was what she could drop, no biggie. Maybe the activity was already paid for so she had to use it or lose it, or maybe as she's susceptible to stress she decided the activity was a way to decompress.

What is more important, your sister doing an activity which she likes, with her husband, or joining you for a dinner which she made up a lie to get out of so as not to hurt your feelings?

I'd be pleased I didn't have to cook for anyone else tbh

Just text her and be honest, say you and the kids were disappointed not to see her. She obviously told a white lie because she had other arrangements and has been caught out - but it's the sort of thing people do a lot and although annoying I'd not make a big thing of it. If this happens all the time and she's really flaky though then I'd say you'd seen it and you're upset at being dropped and lied to.

So your sister chose to spend day doing activity /hobby with her husband snd cancelled on you this morning as she had too much "work"

Yup she misled to you in her reason for cancelling .

As what she meant to say was "am busy at work and also want to take afternoon off to spend with husband on hobby so I can't also spare time to come round for dinner as planned. I might have to work extra to make it up. Please apologise to your DCs"
If she's said that you probably wouldn't have minded

How do you know it was deffo today? Perhaps they did it yesterday and he only just posted about it.

How has she lied?

DH is snowed under with work today, I made him come out either me for an hour this afternoon as he looked like he needed a break and some fresh air. He knew it would mean working a little bit later tonight to get it done but he was glad of the change of activity and it helped him to step away from the problem for a bit. He doesn't have plans for tonight but if he did he'd have had to rearrange them.

@MattHancocksSexTape

I’d text her “how’s the archery going” or whatever the activity is.

It's tempting but I'm forcing myself down the no-snark route to try and take the moral high ground

@TheAverageUser

Maybe she's working tonight though, isn't that when you're meant to meet?

It was supposed to be an early dinner with the kids.

@Clocktopus

It wouldn't bother me. She had to make room somewhere in her schedule for this additional work and she decided that non-special occasion dinner with you was what she could drop, no biggie. Maybe the activity was already paid for so she had to use it or lose it, or maybe as she's susceptible to stress she decided the activity was a way to decompress.

I think that may be the case, but I think she would have known by this morning when she texted as it would have taken planning and rearranging things. If she'd told me that she needed to take some time out for herself doing her activity, I would have replied 'great, have fun'.

Yes I'd be annoyed.

No I wouldn't say anything.

Have you ever lied about something because you don't fancy it? I do it all the time. Not because I hate the person or hate the activity. Sometimes I just don't want to do it and I don't always want to tell them I just don't fancy it.

I'm sure she doesn't mean to hurt you, just fancied doing that instead.

@Pippyweather

How do you know it was deffo today? Perhaps they did it yesterday and he only just posted about it.

Her DH posted yesterday about what he was doing then, so I don't think that's the case. You could pretty much create a timeline of their activities and movements since they joined Facebook, they post that much shite on there!

@HireStarter

Yes I'd be annoyed.

No I wouldn't say anything.

Have you ever lied about something because you don't fancy it? I do it all the time. Not because I hate the person or hate the activity. Sometimes I just don't want to do it and I don't always want to tell them I just don't fancy it.

I'm sure she doesn't mean to hurt you, just fancied doing that instead.

You're right, I have told white lies to get out of things. I just think she knew when she texted me, and I'd have preferred honesty - we're usually honest with each other. To then post about it on Facebook seems like they're being thoughtless, and there are plenty of times in the past she's been flaky and ditched me in favour of something more exciting, so I guess I'm seeing it as part of a pattern. I have some issues with my self esteem and worry about people not liking me or wanting to spend time with me, so it feeds into that, which I know isn't her problem, hence trying to get some perspective from other people. Also, if I've made plans with someone I don't sack it off if something better comes along and I can't understand people who think it's ok to do that. If she'd been honest in the first place though it would have been no big deal.

@fleurbelle

I'd be pleased I didn't have to cook for anyone else tbh

Ha, there is that

Yes why couldn't she be honest with you, am not fond of being lied to

Maybe they had to pay for the activity and would not be able to get their money back.