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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to even consider taking a baby to a job interview?

38 replies

mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:22

I have a very short notice interview next week for a job that doesn't start till March. It is about 2 hours travel away.
My problem is that ds2 has never been offered a bottle (he's 7 months) until today). And he was NOT pleased to meet one.
HELP!
wouldn't bother me if he was in the room, but presumably might bother them...

OP posts:
BrandyButterGalore · 09/12/2007 00:25

what kind of job is it?
unfair as it is, i doubt it would go down well, tbh.

can soeone travel with you and look after the baby while you have the interview? if not, 5 hours with no food wont actually kill him... and hell be mighty pleased to see you when you get back (as will the babysitter) !

yelnats · 09/12/2007 00:27

Probably not the best idea to take him with you. As brandybutter suggested maybe someone could travel with you and take him for a walk or something while your at the interview.

Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:27

I think it entirely depends on who's interviewing you, whether you knew them pre-baby, what sort of job it is etc. For instance, I worked with a lady who brought her baby in for her interview BUT she was offered the job by a friend because she was made redundant while pregnant so I think that counts as extenuating circumstances.

Personally, I would ask a friend to accompany me and then drop them off at a cafe or something nearby to where you're being interviewed. That way, you're close by but neither you nor those interviewing you are distracted from the primary purpose of the interview which is you getting that job!

good luck - whatever you decide xx

TabithaTwitchett · 09/12/2007 00:27

Depending on the job....no babies!!

Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:28

cross-posts with similar ideas from everyone else!

minouminou · 09/12/2007 00:28

sorry to have to say this, but don't do it
the suggestion above is the best solution - aside from getting him used to a bottle.
good luck with the interview.

Miaou · 09/12/2007 00:29

I wouldn't do it, tbh - it sends out all the wrong signals. As brandybutter suggests, can you get someone to hold him during the actual interview?

If you can't manage to walk into the interview room without your ds, then I wouldn't even bother going tbh - sorry

Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:32

problem is it's a long way to drag someone...everyone I know seems to have just had a 2nd or 3rd baby so they are all more than a bit busy. Otherwise would definitely take baby and friend along..
ds2 may not die in 5 hours without food but he will SAY he is going to. Loudly. He rarely goes 3 hours between food stops. plus will have exploding breasts...
it is a rubbish day to be away anyway as it is ds1 nativity play...

OP posts:
Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:34

You could pay someone to come along for the day - like a mother's help or a trainee from a nursery, experienced babysitter maybe?

Doesn't sound like you're that motivated to go, particularly if you're going to miss DS1's nativity play? Any chance they'd move it until after Christmas? that'd give you a shot at getting him onto a bottle before the big day...

Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:38

When I do go back to work, I work full time and long hours and NEVER leave on time on order to get home if something needs doing at work. So it is not a question of commitment. I can do this because I am lucky as DH is at home with kids when I AM at work (sadly he's busy on Wed) . But when I am on mat leave I also try to be 100% mum and not my put on my "at work" hat at all. I am on mat leave now and had not expected this particular job to come up for months - hence lack of preparedness - could clearly have given a bit of EBM in a bottle ages ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:40

now that is an interesting idea cashncarry...only need someone to keep an eye on him for half an hour.
No chance of interview at a later date.

OP posts:
Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:41

Sorry - I didn't mean to imply that you weren't committed to working I just meant that it's such short notice as to be inconvenient not only for DS2 but also for DS1

Of course, you're on leave so you shouldn't really have to think about that stuff yet

Do you think they would agree to put it off if you said you couldn't make appropriate arrangements? It would seem churlish of them not to really...

Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:43

crossed posts - bugger at not being able to postpone it! Is your interview in London? I imagine it should be fairly easy to persuade someone to come into London for a few hours on the pretext of looking after your lo for a half hour slot!

Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:46

sadly not in an attractive location!

OP posts:
squix · 09/12/2007 00:47

Difficult as it might seem , I agree with all the rest, it does send out the wrong signals and it might make it difficult to concerntrate on answering the questions.

I once interviewed someone who brought their grocery shopping in with them - I got totaly distracted trying to peek into the bags.

Mind you I once fell over in an interview, not the best way to make an impression

Cashncarry · 09/12/2007 00:47

LOL - it seems only cold hard cash will do then! I'm off to bed now but good luck with making your arrangements if you decide to go ahead with it and good luck with getting the job!

Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 00:48

thanks!

OP posts:
soapbox · 09/12/2007 01:02

TBH - I have always been a WOTH mother and if I were recruiting I would not be terribly happy if someone brought her baby with her. If she asked in advance though, I would ask someone from HR to entertain the baby for a while, or hire a nanny for a couple of hours, so we could do the interview properly.

More pertinently though, I would not miss one of my children's nativity concert and I would not expect a member of staff or an interviewee to do so either.

I would definitely rather someone asked for hte interview to be rescheduled than missed their child's nativity!

FriedGreentoMistletoes · 09/12/2007 11:18

Where is your interview? Maybe there is a MNetter nearby who could look after your baby whilst you have your interview, or could recommend a local CM who may have space to take him?

cheeset · 09/12/2007 11:24

I wouldn't miss DS1 nativity play.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 09/12/2007 13:50

Try cup feeding him rather than a bottle. My dd wouldn't have a bottle when I went bac to work and HV said use a cup instead and that worked.

inthegutter · 09/12/2007 13:53

Big no no. It must be difficult when it's short notice, but to take a baby along will leave you unable to focus totally on the interview, and will leave them wondering whether you are really going to cope with the demands of the job. I'm sure there's no issue about your capability - but their perception is what matters.

frannikin · 09/12/2007 17:21

If you leave baby behind with someone and a bottle, he will have the bottle.

Whereabouts are you? May know people who would be willing to sit for an hour or so whilst you have the interview.

Original poster
mybabywakesupsinging · 09/12/2007 23:53

thanks all.
ds2 still not impressed by bottle. He takes sips from a cup but can't imagine taking a proper feed.
Agree re: adverse perception of inbility to separate enough from children to do the job. In fact when I do go back to work, DH takes over childcare and I am therefore more able to stay late as needed etc than someone with child in nursery who needs to pick him/her up on time.
Unfortunately I haven't worked at this institution before,so they won't know what my usual working self is like. They would only see woman with baby.
There is no hope of rescheduling or other such helpful things.
Interesting re: nativity play - ds1 is 2 so it is his first one. Possibly hadn't given it the status it deserves, especially as absolutely positive he'll have no clue what is going on!
Current plan is to tank up with milk before leaving (no doubt he'll put paid to that by going to sleep at an inconvenient moment) and leave with a large pot of favourite yoghurt...poor DH will have to deal with ds1 and his play, ds2 shouting, the builders...plans may be out of my hands now anyway as gran was rushed into hospital last night...

OP posts:
madamez · 09/12/2007 23:57

ONly take your baby to an interview if you don't want the job. It's exactly the same as taking your new boyfriend to the interview because you can't bear to be apart. It's not your potential new employer's problem that you have a new baby, and they will feel that if you can't arrange childcare for the interview, then you probably can't arrange childcare to do the job. Sorry.

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