Im posting here for traffic. It is an adhd.

[coodawoodashooda]

My child is really struggling at school. He can't get on with any work. He's 9 years old. He describes his brain as having a block. However sometimes, for a really decent reward, he can get his work done. Hardly ever though. We have an appointment with the doctor at the end of the week. I am a very worried single parent. Can anyone give me any insight as to why there is a block and why he can, with a significant reward, overcome it? Thank you in advance.

I would imagine when highly incentivised he becomes hyper focused on the task in hand hence completing it, but obviously that will not be a sustainable approach.

Is he on medication for his adhd? If not I would discuss with peads if this could be a good way forward for him

Nothing yet. I feel so sad about it. His teacher is clearly very upset, disappointed, irritated etc. I dont blame her but i really dont believe he's doing it on purpose. The hyper focus is an interesting perspective.

The teacher needs to change her teaching for him to make it accessible. Can you arrange a meeting with her and the senco to discuss what is being done to help support him in class?

The teacher is brilliant. They have tried everything. It is definitely him.

i would imagine its a transitional problem to do with something called Executive Dysfunction, and my DS15 has the same issues.

He needs some adjustments made to help give him a kickstart, and its quite a common problem, people mistake it for being lack of motivation, and it isn't... it's to do with being able to 'start' a thing, and for ANYONE with ADHD, it can be a bit of a mountain to climb to actually get things going.

Sometimes its a confidence thing (i won't be able/can't do the thing) and sometimes its that beginning simply needs to be broken down into small steps, and one of the WORST issues my DS has is moving from working on the board/talking stuff through with the teacher, to actually knowing HOW to start the work.

what my DS's TA used to do (he had 1:1) was provide him with some small prompts at the beginning of each task to give him something specific to help him move towards getting started on the work required.

The reward is to do with the provision of dopamine. ADHD is a LACK of dopamine, the 'reward' hormone, its what gives us pleasure when we do something we like/eat something we love, and we get that little kick of happiness, and its pretty vital to brain function.

When people with ADHD get a 'hit' of dopamine, it kicks the brain into gear and provides the chemical that their brain needs to fire/operate.. so rewards provide dopamine, which is why your DS is able to do the work.

The school need to tackle that Executive Dysfunction by providing some kind of dopamine hit or prompts to aid transition to initiate working for your son to be able to do his work. Breaking tasks down, providing prompts, and small rewards will do this.. something else that can also help is fidget toys which can help them focus.

I think im alarmed because i was hopeful the medicaation would sort things. Now with the suggestion that he's voluntarily not working i feel even more worried. I have looked up on hyper focusing and think that might be relevant. Dont know though.

@EmotionalSupportBear

i would imagine its a transitional problem to do with something called Executive Dysfunction, and my DS15 has the same issues.

He needs some adjustments made to help give him a kickstart, and its quite a common problem, people mistake it for being lack of motivation, and it isn't... it's to do with being able to 'start' a thing, and for ANYONE with ADHD, it can be a bit of a mountain to climb to actually get things going.

Sometimes its a confidence thing (i won't be able/can't do the thing) and sometimes its that beginning simply needs to be broken down into small steps, and one of the WORST issues my DS has is moving from working on the board/talking stuff through with the teacher, to actually knowing HOW to start the work.

what my DS's TA used to do (he had 1:1) was provide him with some small prompts at the beginning of each task to give him something specific to help him move towards getting started on the work required.

The reward is to do with the provision of dopamine. ADHD is a LACK of dopamine, the 'reward' hormone, its what gives us pleasure when we do something we like/eat something we love, and we get that little kick of happiness, and its pretty vital to brain function.

When people with ADHD get a 'hit' of dopamine, it kicks the brain into gear and provides the chemical that their brain needs to fire/operate.. so rewards provide dopamine, which is why your DS is able to do the work.

The school need to tackle that Executive Dysfunction by providing some kind of dopamine hit or prompts to aid transition to initiate working for your son to be able to do his work. Breaking tasks down, providing prompts, and small rewards will do this.. something else that can also help is fidget toys which can help them focus.

Thank you. They've tried this but he doesn't respond.

It’s not voluntarily not working if he isn’t able to process things in a way which works for him. We can’t use the same strategies that work for neurotypical children.

There are many reasons children with adhd will struggle in the classroom but we need to be very careful not to blame them for their needs.

its trial and error unfortunately.. but we went through the 'he's choosing not to work' phase about 9/10, and i KNOW thats not the issue, it is to do with finding the best way to get his brain firing to help him get started.

the thing is, ultimately, its the schools issue to solve, and they need to do their research, its not like we can come into the school and fix it for them.

I think one of our biggest obstacles was the 'this doesn't interest me so i can't see the point in learning it' block.. that was.. interesting >.

Okay. So the fact he could make himself do something for a massive reward doesn't mean he's being naughty the rest of the time?

Anyone? Im really worried.

[quote EmotionalSupportBear]its trial and error unfortunately.. but we went through the 'he's choosing not to work' phase about 9/10, and i KNOW thats not the issue, it is to do with finding the best way to get his brain firing to help him get started.

the thing is, ultimately, its the schools issue to solve, and they need to do their research, its not like we can come into the school and fix it for them.

I think one of our biggest obstacles was the 'this doesn't interest me so i can't see the point in learning it' block.. that was.. interesting >.

How much screen time does he have at home?

Not much with me. At his father's millions.

@coodawoodashooda no, he does also have ASD, so we took the decision, to this point, not to medicate, and he is also in a specialist school for secondary, which has really eliminated any problems.. most of his work refusal now are down to self confidence/anxiety now.

[quote EmotionalSupportBear]@coodawoodashooda no, he does also have ASD, so we took the decision, to this point, not to medicate, and he is also in a specialist school for secondary, which has really eliminated any problems.. most of his work refusal now are down to self confidence/anxiety now.[/quote]
Thank you. It all feels so new. I guess I've been in denial and now his inability to get anything done is undeniable. The idea of medication is awful. But so is this.

i think if everything else tried hasn't worked, and you and the school are at an impasse, it may be worth giving the medication a go. We had a fantastic TA who worked hard with him, and we're also a neurodivergent family (adhd/asd in both myself and my brother in varying degrees) so had some insight on how to help/advise.

My brother has very severe ADHD and is medicating as an adult, and has said its like night/day with his ability to do his work.. to the point i'm considering trying DS on meds as he's coming into his GCSE years, to see if it helps the anxiety issues.

I think we do owe it to them to try everything we have in our arsenal, and yes, it is HARD to admit how much they're struggling, and it hurts, but you're doing a fantastic job, you wouldn't be asking for help if you were still in denial about it. Keep going

It is just so unbelievably frustrating. Im hopeful the experience you describe of your brother is what happens to us. Does your brother do that every day?

yep, its one he takes every morning, and it lasts about 12 or so hours, so long enough to get through his work day :)

OP look up Russell Barkley on YouTube. He has some excellent videos on ADHD and why/how rewards and medication work.

Our son has ADHD and medication has been hugely helpful (although it has taken some time to find the right dosage and type). He has described ADHD as being like having ten TVs tuned to different channels simultaneously, and the meds allow him to turn down 9 of them and focus on what he needs to do. That ability to focus and get most of (inconsistency is a hallmark of ADHD, with or without meds) his work done has made a significant difference to his performance in school, and consequently his anxiety levels and self esteem, particularly as he understands his challenges are not his fault, they are due to how his brain is wired.

If you are concerned I really would recommend getting your son assessed and possibly giving medication a chance. You have nothing to lose - you can always stop the medication if unhappy, it is out of the system within a few hours with no lasting effects - and it could be life changing for him.

@Blogdog

OP look up Russell Barkley on YouTube. He has some excellent videos on ADHD and why/how rewards and medication work.

Our son has ADHD and medication has been hugely helpful (although it has taken some time to find the right dosage and type). He has described ADHD as being like having ten TVs tuned to different channels simultaneously, and the meds allow him to turn down 9 of them and focus on what he needs to do. That ability to focus and get most of (inconsistency is a hallmark of ADHD, with or without meds) his work done has made a significant difference to his performance in school, and consequently his anxiety levels and self esteem, particularly as he understands his challenges are not his fault, they are due to how his brain is wired.

If you are concerned I really would recommend getting your son assessed and possibly giving medication a chance. You have nothing to lose - you can always stop the medication if unhappy, it is out of the system within a few hours with no lasting effects - and it could be life changing for him.

Thank you for this. I will look up that YouTube channel. Can you help me understand why my son can get jobs done, on his terms, when he is motivated by a significant reward? At school they say he is choosing to comply or not. Surely the hyper focus idea is what is happening?

Just adding - please don’t view ADHD medication as awful or a negative. If your son had diabetes you wouldn’t think twice about giving him insulin. This really isn’t that different - ADHD is a recognised medical condition and these medications are proven as some of the few treatments which can actually have a beneficial impact.

To answer your question - hyper focus is one possible answer but Russell Barkley explains it more as an executive functioning issue whereby the brain is not able to manage working towards long-term rewards. If the person with ADHD is working on something they have an interest in, they are getting neural feedback/dopamine when they do the work as they go along, but equally the brain finds it impossible to focus on something they are less interested in as they cannot relate it to the achievement of long term goals. It is massively frustrating but you need to try and move away from the mindset that it is a choice not to focus on something - in a lot of cases it isn’t - some days they can work really well, and others less so. As I said, inconsistency is a hallmark of the condition. He explains it better than I can so I’ll see if I can find a link to his video.

The is about 3 hours long (it’s very good though) but this article gives a good synopsis.

This has been tremendously helpful. Thank you.