DP wants us to have another DC

[parfumai]

More of a WWYD

I'm 36, DP is 31, I have a 16 year old from a previous relationship and me and DP have an 8 year old together.

We had always talked about having a child together but DS2 was very unplanned but we decided to keep him and DP was a brilliant dad straight away, especially considering he was at uni.

DS2 had a lot of health issues in the first year so I had to quit my job, luckily DP’s parents were very generous and helped with finances etc, i know this isn't the case for everyone so we were lucky.

DS2 was then diagnosed with asd and the first few years were stressful, but when he turned 6, it seemed to ‘calm down’, DS learnt to speak pretty quickly and started doing well at school.

I then got a job, DP has his own business and can WFH and that's what he does most of the time, so he takes DS’s to appointments etc, although I also do that as I only work a few days a week, and one night until 10pm.

We were talking last night and he told me he wants us to have another baby, he always said he was happy with 2 (he's also DS1’s dad even if not biological) but he said since being around niece (1yo) he's started to miss DS2 being that young.

He told me I wouldn't have to quit my job and he’d be the primary carer, but I'm not sure.

I need some opinions so WWYD in this situation?

Do YOU want another baby?

My guess is that if you did you wouldn't be asking this question here.

Why not ?
Do you want another baby? If you don’t mind go for it!

Will it make your life more difficult or easier to have another baby? How do you feel about it?

You dont have another baby for those reasons - I dont think he has thought it through and it is clear he misses DS being little. I get it my youngest is turning 9 and I miss them both being small. But I cant turn back time.

If you want another baby - nothing in there says you shouldnt either but for the right reasons

What do you want? For me, having got to the stage twice of nearing independence from young children and then starting again is madness and there wouldn't be a chance in hell I would do it, but I am not you.

You say partner. Does he ever have any intention of committing to you and marrying you first? That's what I'd be asking him.

We are engaged, although we've never set a date for a wedding as neither of us would want a big wedding and marriage isn't a big deal for us.

I'm not sure if I want another baby, I'm just shocked as I thought he was happy with just having 2 DCs, I did want another baby a few years ago, but I just stopped thinking about it as DP would've said no.

No way would I want to go back to the baby stage with a 16 year old and a 8 year old. But I’m not you.

Can you afford it financially? It’s all very well him saying he’ll be the primary carer, what would happen to his business? Could you go full time? Do you have the space? They are not at the ages where they could share and DC1 may hang around for many years yet!