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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my kids have a fun size chocolate every day?

153 replies

AndThenInTheEnd · 11/10/2021 18:56

Is there an issue with this?

DS9 and DD6, both have normal BMI (although DD6 is always on the cusp of overweight), both eat varied diets.
Every day after dinner they have a piece of fruit then a “sweet thing”. Might be a yogurt, a cake bar, piece of cake, moam sweet, lollipop etc. I’ve recently bought a bag of fun size chocolate bars and they’ve been having one of them.

This is fine yes?

Rest of day - porridge for breakfast with teaspoon of Nutella. School lunch or at weekend sandwich with piece of fruit and raisin or yoghurt. Snack after school normally carrots and hummus, cheese crackers etc. Normal dinner - spag Bol, stirfry. Fruit then “sweet thing” after dinner. Saturday night is a film and we don’t have sweet thing but have snacks with film. Drink water and 1 cup of Ribena a day.

TIA

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 11/10/2021 20:01

We were only allowed chocolate on Sundays, and then only a couple of squares.

Has made no difference to the fact I'm overweight and crave sweet things.

Comedycook · 11/10/2021 20:02

I wonder how many of the people on here who are outraged at the thought of this have older kids? I have a teen and he eats sweet stuff every day. I don't stand a chance!

MasterBeth · 11/10/2021 20:02

I almost always have a “pudding” after my lunch and tea/dinner. I don’t need it, I’m overweight, but it’s a very strongly ingrained habit that I find hard to break.

I don’t think it’s a bad lesson to learn that dessert is not mandatory.

MrsColon · 11/10/2021 20:03

It's fine, you're doing well. It's great that you're aware that your DD's diet needs watching but are making sure she doesn't see food as the enemy or something to be sneaked because it's not allowed. Everything in moderation.

noworklifebalance · 11/10/2021 20:03

@Comedycook

I wonder how many of the people on here who are outraged at the thought of this have older kids? I have a teen and he eats sweet stuff every day. I don't stand a chance!
Of course once they are teens you have little control over any of their choice.
VaguelyInteresting · 11/10/2021 20:04

We have desert every day, OP. Every. Single. Day.

Some days it’s fruit and yogurt. Some days it’s digestive biscuits and cheese. Other days it’s fruit smoothies or frozen fruit lollies.

But I’d say half the time, it’s a piece of cake or a biscuit or some popcorn or a chocolate bar.

And at weekends? Sometimes we go for lunch and end with a little cake at a cafe in the day too, at the end of a walk in the woods or on the moors.

My DS is 5. He’s absolutely the right weight for his height. And he is 100% capable of moderating his food intake himself. He eats until he’s full, then stops. He isn’t greedy. He saves sweeties and shares them. And he understands that food has multiple functions- yes fuel. But also for socialising, bonding, for fun, to spark joy.

A small pudding a day doesn’t make an active and otherwise healthily fed child overweight. But the no sugar paranoia on swathes of mumsnet will make for adults who don’t know how to self regulate and so may well overeat etc in later life. Or be afraid of sugar and overly worried about food, so missing out on or adding an unnecessary layer of anxiety to one of life’s great pleasures.

godmum56 · 11/10/2021 20:07

the only thing IO would say is to check how much sugar there is in the yoghurt. Sometines its a really shocking amount

Lavender24 · 11/10/2021 20:11

OP you won't get sensible answers on MN. Everyone on here lies thinks sugar and screen time are the devil.

I think it's fine.

Thatsplentyjack · 11/10/2021 20:16

@burritofan

I just saw a woman in the local village shop, she had three children with her,, and they all went to get some sweets and choc and crisps off the shelves. They went outside, and were all opening the bags of things, and eating them, and the woman said to them, they would be having their dinner,or tea whatever,in an hours time, so they have to go home straight away now, and not on the swings on the green. And then what happened!
Well obviously they gained 10 stone each in 15 seconds, all their teeth fell put of their head and they spontaneously combusted from all the sugar 😱
irregularegular · 11/10/2021 20:18

I honestly think it is fine. A fun size bar is VERY small. Porridge and a tea spoon of Nutella will still be lower sugar than a lot of cereals. I bet lots of posters put honey, maple syrup on instead. Two pieces of fruit in a day is far from excessively sugary. I'd maybe skip the raisins but I really don't think it's excessive for kids that age.

crimsonlake · 11/10/2021 20:20

Agree there is no need for nutella, also I would stop the Ribena and replace it with water. There really is no need for something sweet / pudding after every meal is there.

worriedatthemoment · 11/10/2021 20:21

Mumsnet is not the place to ask , ask real life people
Mine have always had something like this, prob more on occasions, ice cream after tea was a big one in our house
They are now 18/16 they are not overweight, both sporty , no fillings and have healthy relationship with food and don't eat chocolate every day now and would turn it down sometimes even as a child
We believe everything in moderation but then my dh was denied sweets and treats and when he could overindulged and even as an adult will eat a whole pkt biscuits
If you can swap the choc couple times a week if that makes it fill a little better

DragonflyFairy · 11/10/2021 20:21

Growing up in the 80s/90s, we had a biscuit first thing before breakfast, another mid morning, crisps with our sandwiches, little cake mid afternoon, pudding every evening. And a glass of full fat pop everyday. None of my siblings and I were overweight, none of us had fillings. We did do tons of exercise and had homecooked, healthy meals for every meal (except breakfast where I ate coco pops heaped with sugar!)

1 small bar a day will be fine. Don't stress about it.

Kaceya2230 · 11/10/2021 20:23

There is hardly anything to a fun sized chocolate. YANBU.

NannyR · 11/10/2021 20:25

That amount of chocolate isn't going to do any harm physically, but if sweets are happening everyday, they are not really a treat but an expected part of their daily diet.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 11/10/2021 20:25

YUBU as you should save fun size bars for when they are school and eat them all yourself.

Kaceya2230 · 11/10/2021 20:27

@FlibbertyGibbitt

YUBU as you should save fun size bars for when they are school and eat them all yourself.
This is exactly my problem 😅
godmum56 · 11/10/2021 20:28

@FlibbertyGibbitt

YUBU as you should save fun size bars for when they are school and eat them all yourself.
Grin
00100001 · 11/10/2021 20:28

@burritofan

I just saw a woman in the local village shop, she had three children with her,, and they all went to get some sweets and choc and crisps off the shelves. They went outside, and were all opening the bags of things, and eating them, and the woman said to them, they would be having their dinner,or tea whatever,in an hours time, so they have to go home straight away now, and not on the swings on the green. And then what happened!
And then the OP watched as they all hopped into the car and drive the two minute walk to their house.

She then watched through the window as they all say down and gormed at the YV for hours until the mother threw them all a happy meal each and a bottle of coke and they ate it in the sofa. Their eyes didn't even move from the screen. Well, except the one fat kid who looked xown at his iPad occasionally to play an age inappropriate game, which he messaged a stranger on.

OP looked on in horror stuck indecision about whether to report this to social services, police or the school governors...

Amammai · 11/10/2021 20:30

I can’t see it being an issue. I grew up having a proper homemade pudding after every dinner each day . As an adult I maybe have one once or twice per week, I’m a normal weight and don’t particularly have a sweet tooth.

Haudyourwheesht · 11/10/2021 20:32

The only reason that poor woman was forced to feed her children all the crap was because all the vegetables were panic bought by Mumsnetters for their MASSIVE salads.

CrystalBird · 11/10/2021 20:32

I think you should try and have some faith in your own parenting and decision making.

Oliveandsage · 11/10/2021 20:38

I would probably swap the Nutella for a lower sugar option - the JimJams option is fabulous! But apart from that I really don’t see an issue 🤷‍♀️

CandyLeBonBon · 11/10/2021 20:39

@Arrowheart

You need to restrict your child to one bowl of museli that you have hand knitted from hay and leaves. No more than 0.5g per day otherwise they will never learn to eat food sensibly or control any need for temptation. You say 'fun size' but there is no fun once they start on that stuff. Be warned.
^^this. Be warned op, one minute it's a fun-sized Mars bar and the next minute they're off their tits on meth with no teeth. 😂
MrsMiddleMother · 11/10/2021 20:40

Of course its fine! They're small for a reason. The problem is when they are only allowed 'treats' on birthdays and holidays because then as soon as they're old enough they gorge and end up with eating issues.