Was I Unreasonable... Friend posting photos of random teens...

[RockinHorseShit]

I seem to have started a passive aggressive war with an old friend on Facebook, after pulling her up on a post that she made. I'm ignoring it, but it's left me wondering if I WU in any way as she's reacted so strongly, with post after post with memes about how confused she is, people need to wind their neck in, that things were simpler back in the 80s etc

Friend is 65, she took a photo of 2 very young women at a station when travelling north . Having a teenage DD myself, I'd have guessed them to be 14/15/16, at very most 18, but their dress sense said younger. One of the girls was wearing rollers & friend was posting to take the pee out of them. Her post was open to share, so for all to see too & she has friends & family in the area of the station as it's her hometown.

I simply pointed out that the post probably wasn't a good idea as they were only very young, wasn't very kind & it could be shared & she doesn't know how that might affect them or what else goes on in their lives. Said I wasn't judging her, knew she was around teens or youngsters, but i am & know it's been a very tough few years for our young people & she probably wouldn't like it if it was someone taking photos & sharing to ridicule her either & she's not still a kid.

She came back with what to me was a ridiculous reply, in that she's photographed & videoed every day & we all are when we lived in cities, reckons she's had camera flashes at her bedroom windows the lot, so that apparently gives her the right to take any photo she pleases. She completely ignored the fact that even where that might be true, in general, nobody is sharing those images to take the pee out of them. She did at least quietly change the settings from public to friends only, so it couldn't be shared

I'm ignoring her passive aggressive meme & loaded comments nonsense, but WTAF

Was I unreasonable to pull her up on her photo, such an over reaction & total inability for my friend to see what was wrong with her post, I'm beginning to question myself

Your response was overly long and patronising.

Your point may have been justfied but there would have been much better light touch ways of making the point.

She sounds unhinged and vile. Taking photos and making fun out of people whatever age and well done to you for calling her out on this. She needs to get a life and don't even bother replying to her again unless she is reasonable. Shocking behavior from her to be honest.

Good for you OP you were right to call her out.

YWNBU
Nasty of her. I hate people taking, and posting pictures of strangers
I think a person should be able to take legal action if a photograph of them is used without their permission. I don't mean crowd photographs but obviously individual ones

You were right to call her out but did you do it privately in a message or publicly in the feed?

She's a bitch. How would she like it If someone took the puss out of her kids ? Block her

You can tell someone they're a twat without trying to be diplomatic. Diplomacy ends up being patronising and doesn't always communicate well.

That got busy quickly

Thanks for all of the replies.

Sorry if I wasn't clear, I was trying to keep it brief & not drip feed. I failed I think.

Yes you're right, my mentioning that's she's not around teens might have sounded patronising, it wasn't meant to be though & I doubt she would have taken it as such. She actively avoids her brothers kids, has never had kids of her own & has avoided everyone of her friends whose had kids when those kids were small. She's never pretended to like kids, so it's just factual & I'm pretty sure that's how she'd have taken it.

My overly wordy reply in my OP was over 2 posts, my first reply as brief & more jokey "where've you been hiding this last few years, it's old news around here" 😂 though this post is maybe not so kind though, especially when these look like young girls & you know what the internet can be like.

I went on to explain my POV as in my OP when she came back with
"I don't care if your offended with a 2 fingers up type gif 🥴

Reading back that last bit to myself... you're right aren't you. She's a twat isn't she 🥴.

This isn't the first time she's done similar, but the other couple of times have been photographing very young, half dressed men that she's drooling over... like her neighbours 17 nephew who was helping paint outside their house in full view of her bedroom. I'm a bit younger& I just don't get that either 🥴

We have mutual friends, I doubt I'll miss her tbh & I haven't seen her in several years, pretty sure I'm only of interest again as my DD is growing up, but for the sake of mutual friends getting earache, I'll silence her for now rather than delete her.

Thanks again... faith in human nature restored, I thought I was losing it for a minute as she genuinely just doesn't seem to get it 🥴

I’d have just reported it to FB and have them take it down rather than calling her out. These things never end well. Did you comment on the post or tackle her in person or by DM. If it were the former, that’s a rookie mistake.

If she's on railway property technically she's breaking the law because she doesn't have the railway network's/owners permission. I mean I know it's only a technicality at a personal level, but if those youngsters got wind of it, and it blew up or went viral, she'd potentially be in a bit of hot water. I speak from professional experience and not out of my arse!

Oh & I did call her out under the photo/post, but mainly because she doesn't use messenger as she keeps getting hacked when she does. Which does happen a lot, so is probably true

She sounds like a creep.

Yeah just pop up one of those "be kind" memes on the thread late at night and bin her off she will miss the notification but her friends will see it in the morning and take note hopefully

Id report the photo's as being of underage kids.

Yanbu - report her & then delete her. Just because you have mutual friends doesn’t mean you need to stay friends with this person.

Thanks everyone

I've reported the photo, DH just had a look at it & he's not always so great at putting ages to teenagers & even he said they look 15/16 at most. I do understand that people that don't spend time around teenagers, can miss the signs that they are still very young, but these are clearly young, I don't think anyone would put them above 18.

I'm not going to delete her just yet, I'm getting the feeling she'd love to make a drama out of it, so I'll not give her any ammunition & let it all calm down & delete her at a later date

www.wikihow.com/Stop-Bullying-on-Facebook

Did you report it as a photo of children or as a bullying photo ?

Facebook has a no bullying and removal of inappropriate content in its Facebook terms

• you can report the actual post for online bullying of minor children so that may get her post removed
• you can also report an individual fb user from their own page for regular bullying / inappropriate content

They'd look at it and decide . Not sure how well it works

I did report it & it has been completely ignored by Facebook 🤬 not the first time that's happened, but the other 2 weren't uk based, so I thought that might be relevant. Not this time

She has at least changed it to private, instead of public & stopped her pathetic passive aggressive posts, I've had 2 other friends message me to say they agreed & good for calling her out on it & 1 at least has reported it too. Seems from one friend, her husband also agreed with me & that caused a row... you'd think she might actually get it now, but nope🙄

You don't have any right to privacy when out in public - people are entitled to take photos of others and use them as they wish, even if the subject is a child.

She's out of order. And as for taking photos of nextdoor's teenagers to drool over, if that was a bloke doing it with young women, we'd be calling them a pervert. Just saying.

@HarrietsChariot

Doesn't make photographing young girls to take the pee out of them right though & as per a previous reply, might even be illegal as it's on station property

Totally @SpongeBobJudgeyPants & I called her out & told her that at the time as it was really cringey, but I was "stuffy & no fun" if not letching after young boys makes me no fun, good 🙄

I've deleted her now, bollocks to any fall out, her response was pathetic & she's obviously not the sort of person I want as a friend

@HarrietsChariot

You don't have any right to privacy when out in public - people are entitled to take photos of others and use them as they wish, even if the subject is a child.

I don't think anyone is disputing that. Just pointing out that taking photos and sharing them online in order to mock people is mean. Which it is.