I have a friend who has had some very complex MH issues over the years and a few years ago attempted suicide. She's very open on social media about her struggles, but lately I've been thinking I just want to at least have a break from her.
I've supported her for years, meeting up regularly (until COVID put a stop to that for a while!), being there on the other end of a phone any time of day etc, helping her get in touch with charities and organisations who could help her.
A few years ago I split with now exH. I went through a totally shit time MH-wise. I had to make a new life for myself and start afresh and when I tried to reach out to her, thinking maybe she'd be a good friend to talk to having been through MH herself. She brought every conversation back to herself, every single time, and never once asked after me and how I was doing. She was only disappointed that I didn't have the time for her I used to. I let it go because, having lived with my exH who had MH issues too, I know that having depression and certain etc can often go hand in hand with being quite self absorbed (sorry but that's the truth and anyone whose lived with a person with MH issues will know).
Anyway, I've had a rough week this last week. About to finalise divorce to find that exH has fudged his SE books in an attempt to reduce maintenance and has made unfounded claims about me (such as cheating, when actually I found him cheating with a girl 20 years younger than him!) which has enraged me and put divorce proceedings back. He's also looking to reduce contact time with the kids. He only sees them EOW as it is. This is basically because he's found out I'm in a new relationship! I'm also having a tough time at work (teacher) with a horrible colleague. And between a busy life with two kids - football lessons, music lessons, illnesses, homework, parties etc - I've not had a spare minute. Well I have, and I've used it to enjoy a glass of wine and some TV on an evening for an hour. Sled care and all that!
So I haven't checked in with my friend, and yesterday she put a post on FB about how not a single friend has contacted her for a whole week, and how hard it is to suffer depression when you have so little support around you. Today, it's a passive aggressive post about World Mental Health day, how nobody really cares they just pay lip service and put memes on Facebook but if they cared they'd reach out, and they don't.
What annoys me is that she has a wonderful wife, amazingly supportive parents who live next door and a sister round the corner who all provide intensive support to her. My mum lives abroad, siblings live elsewhere, single mum and my dad is dead. I've had to deal with a hell of a lot alone and I only wish I had half the support she does. I really CBA with this being a one way friendship anymore, and don't feel I can provide her the support she clearly needs. In fact I don't think the support she needs - aka a person at her beck and call 100% of the time saying all the perfect things she wants to hear, even exists.
WIBU - for now, at least - to go NC?