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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

15k loan for surgery

91 replies

HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 12:53

Hi all

I have name changed for this as it is really outing.

More of a what would you do really. I suffer terrible RA. I am only 31 and already have my right hip replaced. I am now on list for my other hip, but due to covid this is a long time coming and I can now hardly walk (I am having both knees, shoulder and elbow replaced too as I am on the list for them but it's my hip that is the main issue with my mobility). I have been told the wait is 'ages' by the consultant. He thinks that I'll be on the NHS waiting list for 52 weeks before they then put me on the list to have it done at the private hospital , but at a cost to the NHS. This is what happened with my first hip but the waiting time was not half as long as it was almost 4 years ago. My dilemma is, should I get a 15k loan and go private? The waiting time then would be under a month and my mobility would be significantly improved to a life changing level.

There are cons.. obviously the 270 quid a month payback for the next 5 years is a big burden to bear. WWYD and AIBU to consider this.

Thanks if you've read this far.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 12:54

Name change fail! I've asked for the thread to be deleted

  • [Message from MNHQ - we've sorted this for you, OP]
OP posts:
LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 11/10/2021 12:58

If you can afford the monthly repayments- including if something goes wrong yes. Otherwise I’d be wary - do you have a mortgage? If so I’d personally look at seeing if I could add it to that.

Ifonlyidknownthen · 11/10/2021 12:59

Just reported this for you op so they might take it down soon

Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:05

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321

If you can afford the monthly repayments- including if something goes wrong yes. Otherwise I’d be wary - do you have a mortgage? If so I’d personally look at seeing if I could add it to that.
We do have a mortgage but we are tied for another 2 years. It's all so scary. I just know I can't carry on like I am for what could be another year and a half.
OP posts:
Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:06

@Ifonlyidknownthen

Just reported this for you op so they might take it down soon
Thank you
OP posts:
YouTubeAddict · 11/10/2021 13:10

Just go for it. You can’t live your life like this.

Glitterblue · 11/10/2021 13:13

I'd go for it. I'm waiting to have both of mine replaced and it's just unbearable. I have no life, no mobility, almost no movement in either hip, so I know what it's like.

user1000000000009 · 11/10/2021 13:13

I would absolutely go private for this op.

Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:31

MNHQ have kindly changed the name on my thread so it no longer needs deleting!

Thank you all for responding. It's just such a scary thought. We are both (me & DP) currently working ft and we could pay it back. We'd have to cut down on things and savings would go by the by (not that I ever managed to save much anyway)

I have no life at the moment. My friend put it well. She has a car she's paying more than I would be paying back over 5 years. If people so it for a car it surely makes sense to do it for something like this.

I applied for a loan and I have got the ok for 3.1% Apr which I didn't think too bad over 5 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:33

@Glitterblue

I'd go for it. I'm waiting to have both of mine replaced and it's just unbearable. I have no life, no mobility, almost no movement in either hip, so I know what it's like.
It's horrible. I'm so sorry you are going through this too. I try and not let it get me down but recently it's been really hard. My dp had to get me downstairs this morning. I couldn't hold my own weight on it at all

I am WFH at the min and work are being fab and saying they don't need me to go back into the office if I am better at home when they start going back but I want to. I don't want exceptions being made. I've looked into wheelchairs and mobility scooters because at the min I barely leave the house. But I just want to be able to walk again myself

OP posts:
Lifeinthescratcher · 11/10/2021 13:35

If you manage it then yes!

fabulousathome · 11/10/2021 13:37

If you can afford it I would do it. If you weren't able to work because of the pain you wouldn't be earning.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 11/10/2021 13:38

If you can meet the repayments, taking into account emergencies and so forth, then I’d go for it.

That level of immobility is so limiting and impacts significantly on your quality of life.

This is much more minor, but was important to me. I had cataracts, which had been slow growing for years, but suddenly accelerated. An NHS referral was made and in normal times, I’d have expected to wait 4-6 months for surgery. Because of the pandemic, it was two years. I waited 7 months up to a point that I couldn’t drive and could only read large print, couldn’t sew or knit, which are main hobbies and couldn’t bear the sun.

I investigated a couple of private options, which were around the same cost and had both eyes done just over a year ago. Being able to see, drive, read and everything else was such a blessing. I got an interest free credit card to pay for it. Obviously, not as much as your surgery OP, but I think your quality of life is the most important thing, if you can possibly do it.

Had I not had private treatment, I think I’d be having the surgery at the beginning of next year.

RealBecca · 11/10/2021 13:40

On paper, over 5 years i probably wouldnt as i would be stressed that life can change very quickly. But, i dont understand how truly painful it is and the extent of the impact on you because i havent lived it.

Id probably go on the waiting list and save for 2 years to have a shorter loan. Or remortgage so any insurances kick in if corcumstances change. Good luck, sorry to hear about your situation x

Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:42

@Foxyloxy1plus1 it is just such a long wait. I broke down this morning. I just can't take dragging myself around in pain anymore. Not making plans or leaving the house unless it's to go and sit somewhere (which is fine when it's the pub!)

We go camping in a motorhome and when we go I set myself up in a chair and sit there all day whilst DP and the kids go out and do stuff. I used to love walking.

OP posts:
trevthecat · 11/10/2021 13:43

I think if you can pay for it then definitely do it. Life is too short to suffer

TheQueef · 11/10/2021 13:48

Can you comfortably afford it?
That's the only consideration, if you can then go for it.
You will be buying back two years of mobility so it's totally worth it.
Living with pain doesn't just sap you at the time you've also got to reintroduce normality and build up strength, time is precious.

HeyMona · 11/10/2021 13:49

I paid for a medical procedure on interest free credit cards, the repayment period was maybe just over 2 years so I'll still have to transfer the balance before that period is up but I think it has still worked out cheaper than a loan and any windfall payments I get I pay it off too.
Do not do this if youwoukd be tempted to only pay the minimum payment each month, you need to be paying a sensible chunk so it goes down.

It sounds like you are in a lot of pain so whatever you decide good luck.

Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:50

@TheQueef

Can you comfortably afford it? That's the only consideration, if you can then go for it. You will be buying back two years of mobility so it's totally worth it. Living with pain doesn't just sap you at the time you've also got to reintroduce normality and build up strength, time is precious.
Comfortably, probably not. But it's doable. I manage to save a couple of hundred quid a month some months so that would obviously stop. I have a brilliant support network of parents and grandparents, both mine and DPs. And none of them would see us struggle.

It's just such a lot to think about.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:52

@RealBecca

On paper, over 5 years i probably wouldnt as i would be stressed that life can change very quickly. But, i dont understand how truly painful it is and the extent of the impact on you because i havent lived it.

Id probably go on the waiting list and save for 2 years to have a shorter loan. Or remortgage so any insurances kick in if corcumstances change. Good luck, sorry to hear about your situation x

My mental health is really taking an impact at the moment and I just can't do another 2 years. The thought of another summer like this one brings me to tears. But I am a worrier and being so in debt would also impact me. It seems like a no win situation
OP posts:
Original poster
HelpMeWithMyHip · 11/10/2021 13:55

@HeyMona

I paid for a medical procedure on interest free credit cards, the repayment period was maybe just over 2 years so I'll still have to transfer the balance before that period is up but I think it has still worked out cheaper than a loan and any windfall payments I get I pay it off too. Do not do this if youwoukd be tempted to only pay the minimum payment each month, you need to be paying a sensible chunk so it goes down.

It sounds like you are in a lot of pain so whatever you decide good luck.

Are credit cards an option for such a big amount?
OP posts:
DamnUserName21 · 11/10/2021 13:58

I would---you only get one body and your quality of life will improve.
If the surgery is successful, you'll never regret the debt,

TheQueef · 11/10/2021 14:01

Focus this worry and use it to plan the cheapest way of funding.
This will benefit the whole family, if it were your DP would you think twice?
It's an investment and hopefully will head off this depressing, unknown wait time.
Flowers

Sonders · 11/10/2021 14:14

Paying £15k for the ability to walk sounds like a bargain, let alone the benefit of no longer being in all the pain you're dealing with.

Would it also make it easier for you to gain better or additional employment should you need it? Sure, shit could hit the fan - but it could hit the fan now too, and at least if it hits when you have two good hips, there's more you can do about it.

NothingSafe · 11/10/2021 14:15

I'd do it, and then when your current mortgage rate ends, add it in.

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