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AIBU?

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Original poster

This woman is everywhere

14 replies

Ori3 · 10/10/2021 11:12

I fell out with a senior manager at work after she didn’t give me the job I helped her create. She gave me a load of shit in the feedback, then spent the next year telling me to either stay where I was in a subsidiary position, still working for her team, or, to go elsewhere. Horrible, horrible experience.

I recently applied for a different role in the same company (related field however,) & got it. Got really good feedback from the interviewer, I felt, for a brief period of time that it healed me, hearing positive words.

Started new role week before last. The first team meeting has been scheduled for later this month and…….up pops her name on the invitee list. My new manager knows her, I’m guessing they do in fact occasionally work closely to roll out projects/align strategies etc. but WTF? This woman is everywhere!!!! She clearly doesn’t like me, I’m worried about meeting the new team with her present because she’s someone I’d rather leave behind.

I’m concerned she’s going to damage my career & reputation with the new team/my new manager. And I tried so hard to manoeuvre away from her. Not only that, but my new manager has asked me to get involved long-term on a project that sits firmly in her territory.

I think they’re in cahoots, they’re going to tag-team me to death aren’t they!!!

What on Earth do I do? Just shut up & take what they throw at me? Avoid the first team meeting with her present? Look for another position? This job fits very well around family life, and it’s so so flexible (I have a pre-schooler.)

How do I get the fuck out of this woman’s clutches & progress my career positively? She is literally everywhere

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 10/10/2021 11:16

Does she now work in the place where you have a new job or are you in an industry where there is a lot of cross over? The women has hardly popped up everywhere. Your new boss may not know her well and may not even like her. You are making so many suppositions without knowing any facts. Just crack on with your job. Go to the team meeting and be civil. See how it all goes.

ImInStealthMode · 10/10/2021 11:21

Well she's not literally everywhere if you're still working for the same company is she? I think your choices are either put your game face on and brazen it out, or look for a job in another company.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 10/10/2021 11:23

I wouldn’t jump to too many conclusions just yet. If this old boss is a bit tricky maybe your new manager knows that too.

Just because they seem to know each other doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what she can be like and she obviously values you to have given you a job.
Go with a positive attitude and make yourself invaluable to your new manager.

Congrats on getting a new post!

ApolloandDaphne · 10/10/2021 11:25

@ImInStealthMode

Well she's not literally everywhere if you're still working for the same company is she? I think your choices are either put your game face on and brazen it out, or look for a job in another company.
I've only just realised OPs new job is with the same company. I need to read posts better! It makes sense then that she is still around and likely to be in some meetings with you.
TwinklyBranch · 10/10/2021 11:30

Not sure how you expected to leave her behind when you are both still working for the same company. Just be civil and professional whenever your paths cross, and focus on doing a good job in your new role.

HuckleberryJam · 10/10/2021 11:37

It must be hard if you were hoping to move on from her. Maybe she felt you weren't the right person for the job, even though you helped her set it up. You are felt to be the right person for your new job though so try not to worry about her too much

WildfirePonie · 10/10/2021 12:20

I wouldn't like to work on a project with her, one bitten twice shy and all that.

Not sure what the answer is though.

Is there any way to get out of working with her the project? If you have to then i'd suggest recording everything, involving new manager in emails, cover your back as much as possible.

WildfirePonie · 10/10/2021 12:22

She gave me a load of shit in the feedback, then spent the next year telling me to either stay where I was in a subsidiary position, still working for her team, or, to go elsewhere

Do you have email proof of what she said?

MrsRobbieHart · 10/10/2021 12:29

Well that’s hardly everywhere, is it? It’s the same place. I mean you applied for a job in the same field, in the same company. Surely you knew you’d come across her at some point?

steff13 · 10/10/2021 12:44

Was the feedback not justified? Did you challenge it at the time?

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 10/10/2021 12:46

Be civil and professional. That's all you can do.

BlueSuffragette · 10/10/2021 12:51

Why didn't you challenge the feedback at the time? Hopefully your 1:1 supervisions in your new role will be a way to document that you are good at your job which will make any contact with your old boss less daunting.

slashlover · 10/10/2021 13:16

I fell out with a senior manager at work after she didn’t give me the job I helped her create. She gave me a load of shit in the feedback, then spent the next year telling me to either stay where I was in a subsidiary position, still working for her team, or, to go elsewhere. Horrible, horrible experience.

What do you mean you "fell out with her"?

I think they’re in cahoots, they’re going to tag-team me to death aren’t they!!!

You are giving this woman way too much headspace.

SheWoreYellow · 10/10/2021 13:18

How do you fall out with people at work?

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