To ask how you get awful news stories out of your head?

[littleburn]

I want to start by saying that I'm not someone who normally gets this upset about stories in the news, and I'm certainly not a grief tourist, but this has got to me so much.

There's a child murder case that's been reported quite widely this week. It is, of course, horrific, but the particular details of it - recordings of the child crying for family members, saying that no one loves him, the number of people who saw him in a terrible state (to weak to hold a glass of water) ... I can't get it out of my head. I'm in tears whenever I think of it and I just feel so, so sad for him.

My little boy is the same age and the case is fairly local to me, so those factors have made it particularly affecting. But I've felt like this the last few days and I can't seem to shake it off. I'm normally much more 'resilient' than this - I can think 'that's awful' but then move on with my day, as it were. How do you cope when you feel like this?

I know exactly the case you are talking about and it's horrific. Unfortunately I had no knowledge and was in no position to stop it, but it certainly makes me give my kids an extra squeeze at night and makes me think that'll always do my best to protect them.

A technique I was taught to use for my anxiety was my 'happy place' but I use it for other situations when I need to calm down from my thoughts.

Same way I deal with work (similar field to that case), talk openly about how it made me feel, make sure I get plenty of time to concentrate on other things that actually engage my brain, with work even though I don't have a uniform and my bothers are comfortable and clean enough that I don't have to change when I get home, I shower and change when I get in. It seems silly but a very experienced colleague told me to when I was a new trainee, literally wash the day away and don't take it into your home. I am slightly concerned that what actually happens is I lock it all in a mental box that will haunt me come retirement. Oh and also only see the worst in all of humanity and become hugely cynical.

*clothes

I know the news story you are referring to and I too read it and immediately wished I hadn't. It's especially hard if you have a child of the same age. I remember feeling similarly years ago because my child was the same age as two siblings severely neglected and abused. I was upset for a very long time. But as awful as it is, you have to remind yourself that this sort of situation is still, thankfully, extremely rare. You will forget it over time; keep yourself busy and focused on your little one. That's all you can do.

Yep I cried at this story two nights ago and have been thinking about it since. I feel sick.
My boy has the same first name and I looked at the baby monitor and just wanted to run up and scoop him him and cuddle and kiss him a million times over

What that boy went through is horrific.
I think I try and watch happy TV shoes or films, adverts are always pretty happy.

I have been thinking about that little boy all day. Have never been so upset by a news story before.

I read somewhere when looking up a similar thing is to, whenever you think of something you don't want to think of, quickly think of something else, anything, neutral or nice. Do this every time and your brain will call it to mind less and less.

I've tried this with minor things (someone making a horrible comment as I went past, or similar) and it seems to work. But those are things I shouldn't give head space too. It may not work (or be healthy?) for something you feel you should acknowledge, like a death.

I watched some of a Netflix documentary about the 2WW and a witness recounted what happened to 12 year old girl in one of the camps. I turned it off immediately but haven’t been able to forget it. I have a 12 year old girl and what the witness recounted I can imagine her saying it n that situation. Turned it off immediately. Just cannot bear it.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply and for your advice and suggestions xxxc

I know you posted this a few months back but I just wondered if you had managed to get it out of your head? The same story has haunted me and I still can't stop thinking about it. Whenever my brain gets quiet it's there, when I put salt on my dinner or my little blond boy falls asleep on the floor and I carry him to his bed I just think about that poor little boy. I haven't even heard the recordings or seen the video because I know it would play over and over in my head but then I keep reading another little bit of it and it sets me off again. It almost feels like I'm waiting for some kind of justice or happy ending or something to explain it all and I know that isn't going to happen. I really need to stop it getting me down so much now but then I feel guilty, like I owe it to him not to stop thinking of it. Sorry, I know that probably sounds freakish and you're probably over it now but was nice to read that it affected someone else so deeply. X