AIBU to give second hand gifts?

[TedLassosMoustache]

In the world as it is now, is it unreasonable to give second hand gifts?
I’m thinking of lovely books that my kids LOVE that are available on Amazon ‘used, like new’ for friends kids, or maybe second hand Lego sets if they have all of the pieces and instructions?

I wouldn’t care at all if someone gave my kid a second hand gift if it still did everything it was designed to, and it seems kinder to the planet, but am I going to piss off all of my friends if I do this?

Also, is it worse to do this for Christmas gifts as it’s like Santa has given them something used when he may have given all of their friends new things?

As long as the gifts are as good as new, I don't see an issue. I wouldn't be upset.

Although, I did buy a book-loving parent a coffee and book subscription where they were sent a new 'vintage' (second hand) book each month with a different variety of coffee so I may be biased.

I bought a book from a charity shop a couple of weeks ago that looks brand new and cost 20p

Do you need to buy for your friends' children? I expect they get loads of presents already.

Second hand gifts are fine if they look new.

You can certainly give your own children used gifts if that’s what you want to do , but I don’t think you should give other people used gifts for Christmas / birthday .

You can choose to do this for your own children, only you know if they will mind something used.
I’d not do it for friends or other family unless it’s a shared agreement. If you are concerned for the planet then don’t gift anything or gift experiences etc.

It certainly wouldn’t be the done thing in my circles!

YANBU but do you really need to buy all these children gifts?

I do it often, how are they going to know?

@slashlover

I do it often, how are they going to know?

You can definitely tell if a book has been read or if a game etc is not new .

It’s not lots of kids, but I have 4 godchildren, and a couple of other close friends where we buy for each other’s kids. Maybe you’re right, maybe we should just ask them to stop doing gifts

Or maybe suggest to people that are on your wavelength that you’ll try to find preloved gifts where possible and make it reciprocal? Most people understand that the world needs to stop mass producing stuff and this is a small but definite step in that direction.

When my own DC were little, I used to take them to the charity shop and get them to choose Xmas and birthday presents to give each other. They were thrilled to buy something with their own pocket money - such as a book for 50p - and help to wrap it.
I haven’t tried giving second hand presents myself, but I have certainly regifted unwanted new ones!
As long as the presents are in excellent condition, OP, it seems a very sensible and environmentally friendly thing to do.

Depends really. If you're known for your eco ethos it would probably be accepted happily by friends. If you're happy for your children to have brand new and give second hand gifts, some people might be a bit cats bum face about it!

I'm on the fence...I was given a second hand book personal to me and it is lovely. A generic second hand gift and I might think you're regifting an unwanted raffle prize!

Yanbu. It's what we all do. Very few buy new and tbh I'm in middle of clear out and everyone buying second hand for their own children this year as better for the environment

I’d be fine receiving a second hand gift so long as it was useable and clean etc. Many wouldn’t though and there are some proper picky people about who would hate it.

I try to give other kids just £5 in a card now, so they can put it towards what the want and so I’m not buying random tat that won’t be used.

I’d buy something second hand for my kids happily if it was good condition.

My daughter had a birthday party (small - maybe 8 friends) when she was turning 7. One of the gifts was a secondhand and very obviously used craft set. I was a bit disgusted to be honest. The mother did not have money problems before anyone asks.

Depends really. If you're known for your eco ethos it would probably be accepted happily by friends. If you're happy for your children to have brand new and give second hand gifts, some people might be a bit cats bum face about it!
I think you're probably right here.

I personally would only do it for my own child. I would be a but miffed if I spent a lot buying someone else's child a gift and got something that was clearly used in return for my child's birthday or Christmas. Why not set a spending limit or suggest presents stop instead? If they are all from the same circle of friends you could do a secret santa thing where you only buy for one child.

I wouldn’t.

I think it’s absolutely fine for your own children and I am a big fan of buying second hand things. But gift giving is a bit complicated and getting it wrong can send out the wrong message.

I buy my kids books from amazon second hand... I also did last year for my nieces... but I know my SIL has done similar.
Friends I'm not sure. Depends perhaps on the age of the kids. 8/10+ if it means you are getting something the really want - lego set etc or a book you think they will value then why not.
I like the idea of floating the idea with friends and see what the reaction is. My DD has an amazon wishlist which is entirely books - headed up with "I don't mind second hand" or something similar. I haven't shared it yet...

Loads better for the environment and perfectly reasonable imo. Quite a few of my daughters presents are 'second hand' this year from us i think so long as the condition is good its fine

We’ve given and received loads of secondhand gifts over the years, but they have been things bought vintage/pre loved (clutch bag, manual camera, lovely OOP book) rather than just something found under the stairs. Also between family rather than to friends who might feel differently.

We had several years where DCs present from their older cousins was carefully looked after Lego kits, Bionicles etc.