My in laws have never seemed to be interested in helping/looking after first grandchild. I spent his first year really upset when they did next to nothing (and they were our only contact due to lockdown bubbles). If I was really desperate eg. He was ill after injections they came to me once and brought some Nurofen (I made them tea and they stayed until he calmed down for half an hour then left). My child has never slept, had horrendous colic and I was back working at 6 weeks as I work for my family business. My family live 7 hours away but my mum helps as much as she can and is the only one who looks after him overnight. They have babysat once for two hours and have refused invites to park/farm/never cooked us a meal etc. My mil has said things like I don’t do newborns and does play with him but gives him back first sound of winge etc and never offers any help. I gave up caring when they refused to come to his first bday party or even just pop back for the cake. We thought they just weren’t interested and that fine (we didn’t expect regular childcare etc but they did go a bit mad when we put him
Into nursery at 10 months as that’s too young apparently but then didn’t offer- I was honestly on the verge of a mental breakdown at that point so it had to happen).
Now after all that and me making peace with it mil angrily had an outburst to my parents when they were all together without us saying that we’ve made a rod for our own back with his sleeping as we don’t let her or sil near him and she is perfectly capable.
Can anyone give me some ideas where to go from here?? I can’t even understand where it would come from I’ve literally cried at the fact I’m so alone with no support. Every time they suggest something to do with him we jump at the chance even if it doesn’t suit because we feel like it’s so rare and they are making an effort. I have dragged her to the park and soft play once each and before his bday I used fo pop round with him so he can get out the house and see them. I can’t even understand how she can say it so if someone can give me another perspective that would be great!
Otherwise I just feel like I’ve got someone telling me I’ve done something I haven’t, it’s driving a wedge between me and my husband (who works for them) and for her to tell my parents that angry outburst or not it seems like she’s turning everyone against me but maybe I’m thinking she’s more malicious than she is. Feel like I’m going crazy!