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Original poster

Sleeping at "ex's"

30 replies

thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:31

So a guy I've been steadily getting to know, (due to meet tomo) has kids with his ex, no biggie,
Has been off work this week and taken ex and kids to theme park abd seaside, spent £1000, (not a high earner particularly)
Tonight he's with his kids.
Just sent me a video of a cat attacking his feet, I said "I didn't know you had a cat" he said I don't it's my ex's.....cue confusion, turns out he sleeps at his ex's whilst she's on the town, now this is a 2 room place and hes clearly in an adults bed, second room has kids sharing....
Ex wants him back and makes no bones about that and as such im thinking she comes in after night out and gets into same bed....
Would this sit well with you guys,
Thoughts please?!

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 08/10/2021 22:33

No way. C'ya

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:35

@DrManhattan

No way. C'ya
My thoughts, think I've dodged a billet there, ready meal for one tomo for me then!
OP posts:
mumsiedarlingrevolta · 08/10/2021 22:36

oh dear

playing house with ex

run for the hills

TurnUpTurnip · 08/10/2021 22:37

My ex use to sleep at my house. It was the only way he would see the kids, he wouldn’t have them otherwise, he use to constantly try it on, I always wondered if any women he was seeing was aware of it but probably not. I wouldn’t date a guy that’s sleeps over at his exes house kids or no kids

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:39

@mumsiedarlingrevolta

oh dear

playing house with ex

run for the hills

I know right He has his own place, I tried to reason maybe he/she sleeps on sofa, maybe it's easier for him if he has work in the AM but my gut says "Hell no"!
OP posts:
cricketmum84 · 08/10/2021 22:40

Do you know for sure they are sleeping in the same bed?

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:42

@cricketmum84

Do you know for sure they are sleeping in the same bed?
No and given that he's been trying to see me for weeks, I suspect he isn't going to say "yes" and try and fool me that it's platonic!
OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 08/10/2021 22:45

Chancer. Run, they are still together.

If he has told you he wants him back, why would he be staying over to deal with her pushing him to go back? Who could put up with that?

Honestly, he is just looking for a bit of fun on the side, if you are looking for anything serious, run. Even if he was serious about you, this guy has no boundaries, badmouthing the “ex wife”, staying over at hers and expects you to accept the situation as if it was normal? No chance.

KurtWilde · 08/10/2021 22:46

My exh used to sleep at my house when we first separated, otherwise he didn't see the DC. He tried it on every singe time. Even when he had girlfriends. No surprise really.

GettingItOutThere · 08/10/2021 22:48

oh no!

I would not even entertain this. Run for the hills

GrandmasCat · 08/10/2021 22:49

Trying to meet you for weeks???

That’s another good sign they are still together, people who are single, who do not have the kids with them most of the time, tend to have plenty of availability. It wouldn’t take long for them to find the time to meet you if they are single and interested.

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:50

@GrandmasCat

Chancer. Run, they are still together.

If he has told you he wants him back, why would he be staying over to deal with her pushing him to go back? Who could put up with that?

Honestly, he is just looking for a bit of fun on the side, if you are looking for anything serious, run. Even if he was serious about you, this guy has no boundaries, badmouthing the “ex wife”, staying over at hers and expects you to accept the situation as if it was normal? No chance.

I'm a firm believer in "gut instinct and female intuition" I just needed to hear I'm not mad, he's never said one bad thing about her, but had said he had to walk away for various reasons, it all feels a bit close to their home, she works so why has he spent four figures on family days out,,,,? She wouldn't have matched that because I'm guessing no one spends £2k on family days out. If I was to want more after tomo this family days out and sleeping over situation would not sit well with me. So my next question is do I just block him or do I give him a reason as to why?....ergo potentially giving him a chance to peddle some BS or other? There's a reason I've been single years, bloody blokes!
OP posts:
Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:52

@GrandmasCat

Trying to meet you for weeks???

That’s another good sign they are still together, people who are single, who do not have the kids with them most of the time, tend to have plenty of availability. It wouldn’t take long for them to find the time to meet you if they are single and interested.

He was for me meeting him prior to this, I just wanted to take my time to ease into it, too many people meeting quickly and shagging these days!
OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 08/10/2021 22:53

I would just block him before he finds a new excuse to rile you back in.

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 22:55

@GrandmasCat

I would just block him before he finds a new excuse to rile you back in.
My thoughts, I'll let him sweat for about hour and then do it! Back on the shelf I go!
OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 08/10/2021 22:58

No

GrandmasCat · 08/10/2021 23:00

In my early days in OLD I used to talk to people for weeks before I agreed to meet them, but then I realised it was a waste of time as you really don’t know if you will like them until you meet. So I changed to accept to meet for a morning coffee (no date, just coffee) if I saw there was good potential after 2 weeks of regular messages.

I still had to meet a lot of people before I met my partner, but as it was just coffee I was having, and I had not built a relationship online beforehand, there was no disappointment if I didn’t like them or they didn’t like me, someway I managed to make some lovely friends to meet for coffee even when we were not made for each other Smile

MitheringMytryl · 08/10/2021 23:01

Sounds like the "ex" might not have been told that she is an ex.

You're the side piece. Drop him.

Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 23:03

@GrandmasCat

In my early days in OLD I used to talk to people for weeks before I agreed to meet them, but then I realised it was a waste of time as you really don’t know if you will like them until you meet. So I changed to accept to meet for a morning coffee (no date, just coffee) if I saw there was good potential after 2 weeks of regular messages.

I still had to meet a lot of people before I met my partner, but as it was just coffee I was having, and I had not built a relationship online beforehand, there was no disappointment if I didn’t like them or they didn’t like me, someway I managed to make some lovely friends to meet for coffee even when we were not made for each other Smile

Yes tomorrow was only going to be coffee, treading water, getting a feel, BUT if I'm honest I wouldn't have text just a friend as often as I have him, Lesson learnt, I feel a tool!
OP posts:
Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 23:04

@MitheringMytryl

Sounds like the "ex" might not have been told that she is an ex.

You're the side piece. Drop him.

I hear you! God there are so many deceitful gits!
OP posts:
loopyapp · 08/10/2021 23:09

Going to throw a curve ball in here.

Look up nesting as a co-parenting model. Just because you haven't heard of something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Catcrazy83 · 08/10/2021 23:12

Way 2 messy

KurtWilde · 08/10/2021 23:14

@MitheringMytryl

Sounds like the "ex" might not have been told that she is an ex.

You're the side piece. Drop him.

Or she really is the ex and he just stays there to see the DC like my ex has done loads of times to see ours. It does happen! And we we're definitely separated. Yes, he tried it on, but he always got knocked back.
Original poster
thebestnamesweregone · 08/10/2021 23:19

Kurt Wilde, sorry can't reply to a quoted reply, I just don't know him or any man well enough to know that he would knock her back.
He's not having his cake and eating it courtesy of me!

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 08/10/2021 23:21

He’s spent 1k on a trip to a theme park and the seaside? That wouldn’t bode well for me either!