To think my career is over?

[HireStarter]

NC for confidentiality.

A few years back I was made redundant whilst on maternity leave. For a variety of reasons I decided to stay home with the kids.

It's been 2-3 years and I'm now looking to re-enter my career on a part time basis but am struggling to find any opportunities in my field. There are LOADS full-time but very few part-time and those that do exist aren't near me or pay minimum wage.

I have a degree (it's general, not career specific) and was happy with where my career was before children. I'm now left wondering if I need to retrain.

AIBU to think my career is over?

Feeling lost with it all. If anyone has any good news stories that would be great!

• working full time is not an option at the moment.

On a more positive note.. I was thinking very similar thoughts as you 5 months ago. Then I saw a part time and flexible job in the same field (lower level) and applied. Got the job and now feel so much more hopefully that I can get my career back on track.. especially at thought of going back to full time once kids are at secondary! You can do it!!

@gingerperil

On a more positive note.. I was thinking very similar thoughts as you 5 months ago. Then I saw a part time and flexible job in the same field (lower level) and applied. Got the job and now feel so much more hopefully that I can get my career back on track.. especially at thought of going back to full time once kids are at secondary! You can do it!!

This isn't that positive... you got another job but only at a lower level...

Hi OP, it is miserable, always really annoys me that apparently all jobs can be done 9-5 mon to fri but none could ever be done 25 hrs/ week.

Take a good look online / on linkedin etc for initiatives to support people coming back into work after a career break. There are a few around for law and i have a few former colleagues who were SAHMs for several years but have now come back with much more flexible PT roles. Professional services firms are much more flexible now than they were even a few years ago generally.

@ftw163532 totally agree with what you said. Totally fed up with women complaining during lockdown etc how their OH earn more than them so they cant do any childcare stuff...how do women expect to have a career (on a par with their OH) if no effort to have one is made.

@Idony

Finding part time is best to impossible in anything above entry level work. You'll need to go full time for a couple of years, then put a request in.

After-school club or childminder, or their father does pickup (he'll bang on his job is too important. It's not.)

No, my partner (their dad) is just as hands on when he can be. He's already offered to do all the drop offs and pick ups. He's senior but also has flexibility. He's a good partner.

@MoreStuffingMatron

This really is kindly meant.

Can’t you really afford to shoulder all of the relationship generated economic disadvantage when you don’t have the protection of marriage?

Do your current arrangements not massively advantage your partner to your detriment? He gets free child care, domestic support, ability to concentrate 100% on his own career and can walk away at any time taking all of his pension rights, personal savings and share of the home.

Can’t your partner spend some of his mega bucks salary on outsourcing your domestic responsibility to enable you to work full time, gaining seniority, pension rights and more financial equality?

I'm sorry but you've totally missed my points. Or not read them.

I don't WANT to work full time. I WANT to have time with my young children as well as work.

My partner does more than his fair share in domestic tasks believe me. I'm appreciated in our relationship and our working set ups have largely been due to MY decision making.

I hate the assumption that I'm vulnerable. I'm not. And my partner is very supportive of any approach I want to take.

@Miseryl

OP I don't wish to be unkind, but didn't you think about that impact that leaving the workplace for years would have on your career? Some women aren't bothered and will start at a low level but your career seems to mean a lot to you, so why didn't you think about the impact beforehand? You should have researched carefully before making such a life changing decision. At least if you had known before what the impact it would be, it wouldn't be breaking your heart now. It's why the rest of us struggle through and stay in work, juggling expensive childcare etc.

I'm not trying to be unkind...but didn't you read I was made redundant?

I had lots of reasons for not returning immediately which I don't want to go into.

I really really hate the tone of lots of these posts. The assumption that my partner is a lazy pig. When actually our relationship is very equal and he's very involved.

I want a PT job. I have no desire to work FT.

Thank you to those with inspiration and ideas. They've really helped boost me and hopefully with your tips can find something that suits me!

To the OP and another post- yes I did read the OP where she said she was heartbroken and felt her career was over.

A part time post is much easier to negotiate once your are in a job. What do you want to be told OP? That your perfect job should be offered to you on a plate and society owes you that?

Again, you chose to leave the workforce and it is what it is now so you have to work with that is available. Your career progress is a result of your own choices, no one else's.

It would be helpful if you said what your career is and what skills you would offer an employer. How have you kept your skills up to date?
Are you on LinkedIn? Do you have a network? So many roles are filled in this way.

Your request that posters discussing things you’d rather not discuss to ‘mind your own business’ seems odd: it’s MN!

You (and therefore your DC)!ARE vulnerable, relative to your DP. You have equal share of the equity in your property, and savings. But since becoming a parent he has built up his earnings, earning ability in the labour market and pension while yours have been damaged.

SAH or working PT entails big financial and other risks, even if married. Not being married significantly increases those risks. In the event of a break up (and well over half of cohabiting couples break up) you’d be reliant on your ex’s financial goodwill and your personal earning ability.

We all make different judgments about priorities and different kinds of risks. Fathers - married or not - almost never take the decision to SAH with DC and few work PT.

Has anyone mentioned the NHS? There are lots of non clinical roles at all levels. Everything from receptionist to senior project managers etc. Always worth applying for full time roles and negotiating. Many trusts also have staff banks ( like an internal agency), where you can pick and choose short term cover roles and can often negotiate hours to suit. Also gives the opportunity to try different teams and see what suits you. Yes there are lots of downsides to working in the NHS! But the benefits are good plus lots of training and development opportunities. Check out what's available near you www.jobs.nhs.uk/ DM me if you want to discuss

@Miseryl

To the OP and another post- yes I did read the OP where she said she was heartbroken and felt her career was over.

A part time post is much easier to negotiate once your are in a job. What do you want to be told OP? That your perfect job should be offered to you on a plate and society owes you that?

Again, you chose to leave the workforce and it is what it is now so you have to work with that is available. Your career progress is a result of your own choices, no one else's.

There are clearly issues with finding PT roles in her industry, as there aren't many advertised...as stated in the OP.

She was made redundant from her job so did not have the option to remain in post and negotiate PT. It stands to reason she would have found it difficult to find PT work then AND now. Again it seems you haven't read the OPs posts properly.

The OP did not say 'i have been out of work as a sahm and now I can't find a job.' She said it's hard to find PT and she won't consider FT. You seem to just want to turn this into criticising her choice not to return to work following the redundancy, which actually isn't relevant to the problem she posted.

I was the same position last year, SAHM for 6 years and trying (and failing) to secure a PT position. Ended up applying for FT roles to get me back into the workplace. Have been working FT since December last year and due to home working and now hybrid working FT has surprisingly been working great for me. My employer has also been very flexible about working hours and allowing me to do school runs on the days I need to. I'm loving being back at work.

@Miseryl

To the OP and another post- yes I did read the OP where she said she was heartbroken and felt her career was over.

A part time post is much easier to negotiate once your are in a job. What do you want to be told OP? That your perfect job should be offered to you on a plate and society owes you that?

Again, you chose to leave the workforce and it is what it is now so you have to work with that is available. Your career progress is a result of your own choices, no one else's.

Do you not understand the work redundancy? Do you not realise it's not a choice?

You clearly have a chip on your shoulder about those who don't want to work FT. And no, just because society is set up to only value FT workers, doesn't mean that should be the case. I know LOADS of PT workers in good roles. They got them after negotiating when they had a baby. I didn't get that chance as I was made redundant. That's what's not fair.

Don't bother replying if you're going to keep pushing the "it was your choice" mantra. It was not. Look up redundancy.

@gingerperil

On a more positive note.. I was thinking very similar thoughts as you 5 months ago. Then I saw a part time and flexible job in the same field (lower level) and applied. Got the job and now feel so much more hopefully that I can get my career back on track.. especially at thought of going back to full time once kids are at secondary! You can do it!!

Thank you :) I do find that helpful. I'm willing to take a step down for sure.

Fingers crossed something comes up soon. I've applied for 2 PT roles (neither are ideal but would be fine for now) and a few FT roles. Have also now signed up to a few flexible working agencies.

Well done getting back into work. I'm glad you're enjoying your role - I also can't wait to get stuck into something interesting!

@Dozer

Your request that posters discussing things you’d rather not discuss to ‘mind your own business’ seems odd: it’s MN!

You (and therefore your DC)!ARE vulnerable, relative to your DP. You have equal share of the equity in your property, and savings. But since becoming a parent he has built up his earnings, earning ability in the labour market and pension while yours have been damaged.

SAH or working PT entails big financial and other risks, even if married. Not being married significantly increases those risks. In the event of a break up (and well over half of cohabiting couples break up) you’d be reliant on your ex’s financial goodwill and your personal earning ability.

We all make different judgments about priorities and different kinds of risks. Fathers - married or not - almost never take the decision to SAH with DC and few work PT.

I am aware of that. I did state I want more financial independence.

We are engaged and will get round to it at one point. We've been together an awfully long time and life has meant this has never been a priority. Now we've had our family it's a bigger priority.

Im aware that I'm in a more vulnerable position at present. I just don't want opinions on it as I don't need them. I wanted career advice.

Posting on Mumsnet doesn't mean I want any advice under the sun. It's not a gateway to pushing any old view.

Some posters have been extremely helpful and confidence boosting. Thanks to those :)

I agree with @RhubarbTree on returner programmes. You can start many of them part time and they show a huge flexibility on days and times.

womenreturners.com/returners/returner-opportunities/

What about contract work? So, maybe full time but for 3-6 months so more manageable to get yourself back in the game

Nothing wrong with applying FT and negotiating down from that. They are adults, they will say no if it doesn’t work for them.

We are engaged and will get round to it at one point. We've been together an awfully long time and life has meant this has never been a priority. Now we've had our family it's a bigger priority.

The easiest way to improve your financial situation is to get married now. Just go and get the paperwork done - cheap as chips. Have the wedding whenever you like.

Being engaged is irrelevant legally.

What realistically would happen if you split up? You'd be skint and unable to earn a decent salary.

The reason people say this in threads on MN is because women get BURNED by this shit all the time. You should see the threads where women can't retire, can feed their DC, become homeless because their DP who they "would marry some day" has sailed into the sunset with a 20 something.

@HireStarter I've worked part time/flexible hours for most of my 17 career with my current employer. I have no opinion on whether people should work full or part time. What I haven't ever done is chosen not to work.

It bothers me more when people take career breaks and moan about the options available to them when they chose to to re-enter the world of work as though it's a shock and the world owes them the perfect career. I ask again- did you not consider this when you chose not get another job straight away? It's the entitlement in your posts that gets to me.

Yes you were made redundant but you said yourself that you chose not to get a job straight away. So you have actively made a choice to remain jobless for an extended period, and that has brought consequences. Had you been applying for jobs for years that would be different and not your choice.

Have you also considered jobs that can be done remotely? Lots of these around at the moment . Unless your role needs in person working

Definitely don't be afraid to apply for full-time roles, especially if you are open to working 4 days a week!

Most jobs are advertised full-time as default, but a lot of companies are a lot more open to flexible working than they were a few years ago.

My current job was advertised as full-time. I applied and was offered the job and then negotiated part-time hours. I'm still here 3 years later and got a promotion a few months in, so your career doesn't have to be over!

vivainsomnia

At that point you are their preferred candidate, and if you're willing to do 0.8 then that's really acceptable for lots of roles
‘But then be prepared to be expected to do the equivalent of aFT role in 4 days and feeling very overwhelmed and having to work extra hours any way.

You then can't really moan because they gave you what you wanted.’

^This
I previously forgot to mention this possible downside (depending on the sector/role).
It would be wrong to only mention the positives.
I work in a pressured public sector service. In a previous role, I went from FT to 3 days after returning to work after mat leave with 3rd DC (was faced with redundancy just before going on mat leave but I fought it citing my Maternity Rights and stayed). Unless someone else is actually job sharing with you, you will have to fit a FT role into PT hours. I initially had a job sharing arrangement but that gradually became non-existent several months in due to staff shortages. I was then also expected to help cover a FT colleague who was off sick long term. Reverting back to FT hrs was not an option as budgets had been amended to reflect my PT hours. I also did not want to go back to FT hrs due to work/life balance with 2 young DC and nursery fees that were already hefty, so I moved on.

I now work with a much smaller team with no one to cover the bulk of my workload when I’m off. When I became permanent I chose to increase my days from 4 to 5 (initially 3) during school hours (finally no childcare costs!), in order to keep on top of the workload. I occasionally have to put in extra hours during busier periods. My current organisation is now close to home, offers more flexibility than the last and hybrid working was already well established for most staff before the pandemic, which is a game changer.

[quote Miseryl]@HireStarter I've worked part time/flexible hours for most of my 17 career with my current employer. I have no opinion on whether people should work full or part time. What I haven't ever done is chosen not to work.

It bothers me more when people take career breaks and moan about the options available to them when they chose to to re-enter the world of work as though it's a shock and the world owes them the perfect career. I ask again- did you not consider this when you chose not get another job straight away? It's the entitlement in your posts that gets to me.

Yes you were made redundant but you said yourself that you chose not to get a job straight away. So you have actively made a choice to remain jobless for an extended period, and that has brought consequences. Had you been applying for jobs for years that would be different and not your choice.[/quote]
Your post stinks of judgement. People take career breaks for all sorts of reasons. And sometimes it's not a genuine choice to do so.

You clearly have a chip on your shoulder about sahms. I'm going to repeat again as you clearly have issues with comprehension. The OP hasn't said she can't get a job due to career breaks. She's said she can't find PT jobs advertised to apply for. If she said she is finding it hard to return as she's not getting interviews your comments would be valid. Valid yet still unhelpful as she doesn't possess a time machine