AIBU - Someone threatened to "beat the s"*t out of me"

[helpforayounggirl]

Bit of a long one.
I run an animal charity abroad. We have a lot of kittens to rehome. It's been a bad year.
People look at our FB page. All animals are in foster. Majority of people choose from photos.
A woman calls. She wants a grey, three-month-old male. She fills in the questionnaire. All good.
I don't have that exact kitten. Two weeks later, one arrives.
She lives 400 km away. I explain that the kitten is chipped and has had first vaccines, but as she is so far away and can't use my vet for the castration (normally included in the fee), I'd drop the adoption fee to 60 EUR from 90 EUR, but she'd have to give me a cheque for 200 EUR which I wouldn't cash, but would return as soon as he's had the snip. She also wanted me to meet her halfway to drop him off (400 km round trip). I'm a single mum. And a volunteer. Nobody gets paid in the organisation.
Well, she lost it. She said she didn't know how I had the nerve to ask for money when there were thousands of kittens going for free. She called me an "expat twat". So I told her she was rude and blocked her. She's also an "expat".
She the left a message on my phone saying she was going to "beat the living shit out of me" and that I was a "fucking bitch" and a "fucking old cunt".
So, what am I missing here? It just seems so weird to have this reaction. Do people not expect adoption fees? I thought it was standard. It's written on our page. Maybe not obviously enough though.

@TempNameChangexx

Surely if people aren't planning to get their kittens neutered, they can just cancel the cheque?

(or does that only work on Mumsnet! )

It's not easy to just "cancel the cheque " in France.

@Boood

Fwiw I think your deposit policy is a really good idea, and anybody who is put off by it isn’t responsible enough to be trusted with a cat.

I'll be sure to tell the two wee furry shites currently splodged out in their fur beds after their snack of freeze dried organic chicken that I can't be trusted with them (or the long line of four legged tyrants who came before).

But I guess I know I'm responsible and can't be doing with cats on heat or the stink of Toms, whereas a staff member at a rescue can't know that for certain.

Never mind, waifs and strays will still find me - it's the letters M-U-G on my forehead, visible only to cats and small children, that does it. I certainly wouldn't be screeching at the OP, especially as she's explained it's an official policy for her rescue, just because I'm not personally comfortable with the idea of a cheque that could go astray.

I'd drop the adoption fee to 60 EUR from 90 EUR, but she'd have to give me a cheque for 200 EUR which I wouldn't cash, but would return as soon as he's had the snip.

Sounds like a massive scam to me.

That’s fine - you can think it a scam and walk away. What you don’t do is threaten physical violence and scream obscenities down the phone at someone. Obviously.

Someone that violent shouldn't ever own a pet so lucky escape

well, your cheque approach sounds like a fairly common scam tbh.
but she shouldn't have threatened you.

I don't see the problem with taking a cheque, if its clearly outlined as part of the adoption process and not something sprung in someone as they are out the door with tiddles, then adoptees have the option to vote with their feet.
If she's the first person to complain about it, then I would say the issue is with her, more so given the way she behaved.
All I could suggest is include cost of neutering in adoption fee and give the customer a voucher that they can redeem at their vet, or the catteries vet if it makes it easier. Anyone adopting should be onboard with the ethos of the charity i.e. preventing more unwanted kittens.

Yeah, I definitely don't want to come across as scammy. It's a registered charity, with a headquarters, bank account, adoption contract, voucher for our vet (for kittens), vet health certificate, health booklet with the history of treatments. We even have our own shop. So, I don't know what to do to make it seem less scammy. I don't want to put people off. For adult cats, we always get them neutered before. But with kittens, during kitten season (which seems to be lasting almost the whole year these days), we can't do it. We give them a voucher to use with our vet. But one person, in the past, didn't go to the vet and the cat got pregnant. We were all really upset. The only other option would be to keep them until they're five months old, but then they'd be less likely to get adopted. People do like a kitten!

Anyway, you've given me something to think about and talk about with the volunteers. Thank you all for your input. :-)

Have you had anyone else complain previously about this?

I dont think you should ever meet adoptees outside their home and hand over kittens or cats.How do you even know they are genuine.Personally think the rescue should keep kittens until they can be neutered by their own vets.

reputable animal shelters in Germany always ask for a rather large adoption fee - it is to stop cats being used for fur and dogs being used as bait.
Anyone who has a problem with that doesn't understand what some people do to animals from shelters