To think I can't cope in my new job and need to leave

[anappleorchard]

I started a new job 6 weeks ago; at first it was going well but now that normal project work is picking up I'm really struggling.

My work requires a lot of concentration and attention-to-detail, it's not just something you can quickly hash out and send across. The work that I do is the bottleneck in the process in our deliverables to clients. I have gotten all my projects done on time, even when it means working evenings and weekends to keep my head above water.

However, I really struggle with the feeling of pressure and demand from my colleagues. Understandably, they are wanting to check-in with me a lot to ensure I am not going to make them miss a client deadline. The work is so fast-paced and I have several projects swimming around in my head, all at different stages of completion with different deadlines.

All day I will get emails and calls from different colleagues, all wanting to know when I get can X, Y, Z finished by. It makes me panic and feel incredibly stressed; I feel like people are waiting on me and I'm holding everyone back. Even a benign "hey how's X project going" message from my manager sends me into a panic that I'm being too slow and he is checking up on me. When someone wants something, I immediately stop what I'm doing and switch to that task so I can get it done for them, and then someone else will have messaged me in the time being wanting something else. All the switching between different tasks is impacting my productivity and sometimes I just stare at my screen completely overwhelmed, not knowing what to do first.

It's completely a 'me' problem, but AIBU to think I'm just not cut out for this kind of work/working environment?

Ok press pause, deep breath. I can hear the panic coming across in your message.
Do you have any 1:1’s with your line manager? There may be some things they can do to lighten your current load while you settle in. 6 weeks is no time in a new job, you’ll be constantly coming across new things all the time. That takes a lot of mental processing but with time this will become more automatic and you’ll find it easier.
Is this a job/company that you feel you’d like to stay long term? If so there’s more inclination to stick with this difficult early phase. Have you let your line manager know how you are feeling? It’s good they are checking in with you, perhaps it’s expected to feel this way and they want to support you? Could there be project management courses that you could go on to help you manage things in a different way? (This is not my area so I’m only guessing here).

It might help to have a written timetable of the deadlines. Obviously the one approaching fastest is the most important. if someone wants you to do something with no. 6 in the queue, send them a holding email and get back to no. 1 in the queue.

You may need to learn to be assertive with people wanting things NOW that can actually wait - at the very least explain politely that you have a priority deadline and you will get to their request as soon as you can.

The other option of course is that the work load is simply too high… that no one could keep up with? Why did the last person in the role leave? Are the rest of the team struggling? Is this a bit of the companies ethos to take on too much without the staff to actually do it well?

Could you also log out of your emails so you don't get distracted by the demands and then only check them at certain times.

I do this type of job and yes, it's hugely panic-inducing, but there are solutions!

Can you take 10 mins at the start of each day to plan or forecast your "time slots" for each job? Write out a list of jobs you have to send out that day. As you've been there 6 weeks you've probably got an idea of how long each task is going to take. Then when the random enquiries or reminders start pinging, you can just respond "I'll have finished x task by y time, then I'll get straight back to you about your project" or something along those lines. I tend to treat it like a production line rather than multitasking, because it's not really compatible with intense concentration.

Also, if you wait a few minutes before replying till you get to a convenient break in your task in-hand, you take the pressure off yourself and can still reply to the manager reasonably quickly.

Give them confidence in you?

Progress update every meeting if you have them

Progress emails at sensible intervals eg Hi Dave your project will be ready COP tomorrow as promised.

Call those squeaky wheels if nothing else’s works and say this is current state of play going to be do not disturb all day while I progress this.

Shut off emails/teams as focus time

Wear music headphones / ear defenders

Do not disturb sign on your door if necessary

I think you could seriously improve your stress levels if you were to project manage this work. Perhaps a GANTT chart which has everything on it, when it will get to you, what you need to do and when it is due to be completed. Take control.

That way, if someone says, "I need X" if it's not on there, say no and plan time in for it.

Have a look here: www.smartsheet.com/s/online-gantt-chart?s=518&c=73&m=3002&a=527104682288&k=gantt%20chart&mtp=e&adp=&net=g&dev=c&devm=&plc=&ds_rl=1286294&exp=&gclid=CjwKCAjw2P-KBhByEiwADBYWCpFCchYubY_3_43Ti2X_a5JTYgZxMtRlNjDwg-vJfflFG97MAQavzhoCK-AQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'm going at this completely differently to others. You can search and try and work hard - but this is not where you are meant to be. If you were, you would relish what you were doing, not fear it.

Do your best, but look for something completely different. That you like. Keep doing that. One day you will find your place.

Never resign. Really hard to get benefits.

@CherryLeaf

Ok press pause, deep breath. I can hear the panic coming across in your message. Do you have any 1:1’s with your line manager? There may be some things they can do to lighten your current load while you settle in. 6 weeks is no time in a new job, you’ll be constantly coming across new things all the time. That takes a lot of mental processing but with time this will become more automatic and you’ll find it easier. Is this a job/company that you feel you’d like to stay long term? If so there’s more inclination to stick with this difficult early phase. Have you let your line manager know how you are feeling? It’s good they are checking in with you, perhaps it’s expected to feel this way and they want to support you? Could there be project management courses that you could go on to help you manage things in a different way? (This is not my area so I’m only guessing here).

I do, I have a weekly 1:1 meeting with my line manager, but something takes over in those meetings and I just smile and nod and pretend everything is fine. My manager has also given me lots of positive feedback on my work so it's completely my fault that they are unaware of how I feel. I think I'm scared of them confirming my fear and telling me that I'm not cut out for the fast-paced agency life...

There is also so much admin I can't keep up with - expenses, time sheets, filling in forms ahead of meetings, weird acronyms and buzz words I still don't understand, etc. It's a lot.

@RatherBeRiding

It might help to have a written timetable of the deadlines. Obviously the one approaching fastest is the most important. if someone wants you to do something with no. 6 in the queue, send them a holding email and get back to no. 1 in the queue.

You may need to learn to be assertive with people wanting things NOW that can actually wait - at the very least explain politely that you have a priority deadline and you will get to their request as soon as you can.

I do have a timetable but the projects have so many stages to them that it's constantly in flux. I've now made a spreadsheet where I have the current status of the project and the next step I have to do and by when which is helping me keep track.

I definitely agree I need to be more assertive, it's just hard when you're the entry-level graduate who is new, you're not really sure if you can say to someone senior that, for example, you don't have time to do that for them today, but can take a look tomorrow.

@CherryLeaf

The other option of course is that the work load is simply too high… that no one could keep up with? Why did the last person in the role leave? Are the rest of the team struggling? Is this a bit of the companies ethos to take on too much without the staff to actually do it well?

My predecessor got promoted, they are still within the same small team of four. I'm the most junior, but I observe how the rest of the team works and they are really efficient and seem to keep on top of everything (seemingly) effortlessly.

Are you clear on what your priorities are, and how to prioritise your work?

It's not effortless, they are offloading stress on you by these constant unhelpful update requests.

6 weeks is VERY early. Don't panic.

You must - must talk to your manager. Managers don't like surprises. Go to them early. Write a list if things to say. Emphasise the positive. Because what leaps out of what you are saying is -

1. You haven't missed a deadline
2. You have already improved the systems in place in a way that is helping.

Is there a way you can give your colleagues access to real time data on your progress so they can stop fucking bothering you? Like sharing your spreadsheet? Just refer them to that.

Then go to your manager, explain what your feeling, explain what you have put in place already, and ask what else can be done to support you.

I think there is too many replies to quote everyone so I will just try and reply on one message. Thank you all for your replies, it is really helpful and encouraging.

@FreakinFrankNFurter Unfortunately not, I also have constant Teams messages and I have to stay logged in and responsive as I'm working from home.

@ChurchofLatterDayPaints I'm glad you said that this type of work is panic-inducing, I was thinking it was just me who finds it to be that way. I also like the idea of viewing things as a production line rather than multi-tasking, that is definitely the way I would want to approach things.

@ShowMeHow I like the idea of proactively giving progress updates to my colleagues, it would give me more of a sense of control and would hopefully reduce the amount of times they come to me asking for updates or whether I have time to do an extra task/project. I will start trying to be more open and transparent about what I'm doing and when.

@Royalbloo Oh I like the look of this, I will look into this further, thank you.

@ChristmasFluff sadly, I do feel inclined to agree with you. I have never felt this sense of dread every morning even though previous jobs (which were completely different) were also fast-paced and demanding, it felt more rewarding and dynamic rather than panic-inducing.

Prioritisation is key. You will have to start setting expectations for your line manager in your weekly meetings. Working evenings and weekends is not sustainable. No wonder you are getting amazing feedback, they think you can produce two weeks of work in a week!

I would start bt reviewing all the work you have and set realistic deadlines or an amount of time for each task and see what that gives you Vs what everyone is expecting. Just for your own knowledge. Stop saying yes to short deadlines, and urgent tasks. Send a holding response. Then start pushing things to your line manager - I'm doing X but Z says she wants this doing by Y date, which one should i prioritise? Get them to decide.

I have a job very much like this and I can relate to this. I also really struggled initially although I am now pretty good at this.

What I would say is:

Six weeks is too early to know if you can do it or not so don’t give up yet. It took me the best part of a year to crack this. Remember any other high pressure job will also require high levels of organisation and good prioritisation. If you can crack it in this job it will put you in a much better position if and when you leave.

Agree with whoever suggested marking out your objectives in your diary. It may seem a bit childish but it really helps.

Another thing that helps is to try to stop thinking of all these “check ins” as pressure and reframe it as an opportunity for you to ask for help if you need it.

You sound - in the nicest way - as if you don’t want to rock the boat. But a workload problem for you is a problem for the whole firm. Ask for more help if you need it. No one benefits from you pretending everything is hunky dory while drowning inside.

6 weeks in is really early and you'll still be getting the hang of the acronyms and systems. It sounds like communication is also key - you need to find a way of heading off the constant pinging from Teams. Some form of pro-actively communicating until people know you will always deliver to an agreed deadline. Your manager and/or the previous role holder may be able to help with strategies that match your company culture.

I sympathise as I am currently working WFH but inside a client whose culture is to email everyone all the time, with a seeming competition to be the first to respond. I can't focus if I'm being interrupted all the time so I turn off my email notifications and check in at fixed points in the day if I am trying to deliver something. I do sometimes get comments about my response times (ie they are not instant!) but my boss is supportive and agrees some of the expectations are unreasonable. Some days half the time is simply spent on email whack-a-mole rather than real work. Luckily for me my time is billed hourly and that includes email management, so if they chose to use my time doing useless shit like that then its on them really.

Prioritisation is key. You will have to start setting expectations for your line manager in your weekly meetings

I agree.

You report to your manager, so they should be managing you. If they aren't, you can help them by:

1. Asking how to prioritise work. Can you categorise it somehow? By department, or work type - which should be your top, middle, bottom priorities?
2. Asking how he/she suggests managing the communication to your stakeholders on this - are your "low priority work" stakeholders already aware that their work is lower on your list? If not, how does your manager suggest you communicate that in the event you need to delay work for them due to higher priority items? Ideally your manager is aligned up front with his/her peers (your stakeholders' managers) on the prioritisation, so there are no surprises - but this is often not that case, and it's better to pre-empt this.
3. Getting your manager's buy-in up front for how you want to work, once you've set priorities. For example, telling people up front when they can expect delivery and not to chase. Or I will go on do not disturb for certain periods. This way, your manager is aware of what you doing and if they receive any negative comments they can back you up.

This is such a good lesson at your early career stage, I'd really suggest giving it a good go and learning and making mistakes and adapting as a result! And lean on your manager, this is their job.

Oh OP I feel your pain, lots of good suggestions so far.
The main thing that jumped out at me was you immediately jumping onto emails asking for an update. I know that a 1 minute distraction to read and answer an email actually takes you away from your current task for much longer as you have to re-focus your thoughts.
Is it possible to agree upfront with people waiting on you, when you will deliver what they need, eg yes Dave I will provide that report by Friday lunchtime, and you will contact them with some advance notice if there are likely delays?
I just say that incase this isn't agreed upfront as I only contact people if they miss a deadline, not to check the work is on track.
Either that or set aside specific times in the say to pick up messages and stick to it (I know that's hard with intrusive IM's though!)

Similar to the GANTT chart, but could you have a spreadsheet that shows your expected delivery date for each task on the project, that is visible to everyone.

So if someone wants to know when their x/y/z will be done, they can look on the spreadsheet without bothering you and distracting you?

A few responses to enquiries of 'thanks for your email, please follow this link to my project planner for the expected delivery date for your project' and hopefully people will leave you alone and help them self to the information they need.

I would say you are not not cut out for this ( if that makes sense - Ie I bet you are ) . Any chance you can have a talk with your manager about prioritisation ? Is it the squeaky wheel which gets oiled ? I suspect your other colleagues are just those who have been though this and found a way to deal with it . I agree with a PP - if you need to get through something - put your phone on voicemail for a while.

Apply for another job. Lots of jobs out there now without this hassle.

Unfortunately not, I also have constant Teams messages and I have to stay logged in and responsive as I'm working from home.

Mark yourself as Do Not Disturb for 30 minutes every so often. You do not have to be constantly responsive.

Turn the notifications off on Outlook or close it for periods of the day.

6 weeks is very new - your colleagues are doing things apparently effortlessly because they aren’t new! In another 6 weeks you’ll find so much more stuff easy.

@anappleorchard - I hope some suggestions are useful & I sincerely wish you well

Unfortunately not, I also have constant Teams messages and I have to stay logged in and responsive as I'm working from home.

I disagree with this. You can enable DND on Teams but still receive notifications from select people ie your manager. That can be useful for stopping annoying distractions but being available to only very selected people