I started a new job in March 2020. Covid hit a few weeks later, which played havoc with our sector leading to lots of changes within the department in terms of job roles and working from home etc (like many sectors). It was literally a matter of weeks into the new job - I'd barely got through my induction and learning where the toilets and fire exits were. It was less than ideal to say the least.
In Aug 2020 our department was given the green light to revert back to business as usual and to do our contracted roles again. I was excited to be able to finally start to do the job I was employed to do. Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant (slightly sooner than expected; but given I’m closer to 40 than 30, I’d expected to have been trying for longer but it happened straight away for us). No problem, I thought - I will continue to work for another 9 months before maternity leave so I should get a chance to fulfil my actual role for a while.
Then I got sick - very, very sick - with numerous pregnancy related health conditions requiring hospitalisation at one stage. I attempted to continue working but struggled massively and after several discussions with my boss about what to do, I ended up taking the decision to safeguard myself and my unborn baby and go off sick. I returned briefly in the second trimester, working from home as per their Covid policy, but struggled with my ongoing health difficulties and ended up signed off sick again by a GP. This time, on medical advice, I took the decision to stay on sick leave until maternity leave.
I’m part way through maternity leave now and due to return to my role in Jan 2022. Given that my contract started March 2020, it will have been almost 2 years since the start of my employment when I return, and I haven’t actually done any meaningful work for them due to a combination of Covid changing my role temporarily, pregnancy related sickness, and maternity leave.
I obviously that know Covid isn’t my fault and it wasn’t the most ideal start to a brand new job (I also work in a sector that was particularly affected). The pregnancy was always a part of a my long term plan, even before I was offered and secured this job - I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon; and in any case I fully expected to be fit and well throughout my pregnancy and able to work. I couldn’t have predicted the extent of health issues I experienced during pregnancy. I’m also aware maternity leave is my legal right.
However, I’m just very concerned that I’ll be judged negatively on my return to work. I barely know my new colleagues as I haven’t had any real opportunity to get to know them so I feel essentially as though I’m starting a brand new job in January despite having been employed there for almost 2 years by that point. It’s making me not want to go back as I’m so concerned that they will have a poor view of me. I feel like it might look as though I took the job then thought sod this, I'm off to have a baby. But it was really not like that as the baby was always a part of my life plan at this age regardless of whether I'd secured this job in early 2020 or not. I also worry that the sick leave makes me look "weak" and incapable before my boss and colleagues have had a real chance to get to know me properly.
AIBU to feel that I might be judged? Would you judge me negatively as your colleague in these circumstances?