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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never want to leave my house again?

43 replies

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 08:06

I’ve just had covid and Sunday is my final day of isolation. I’ve felt fairly ok, just shattered, so I’ve worked through it 8-5 like I normally would but now I feel really exhausted and I’ve got a hellish week next week because all my meetings that couldn’t go on line have been pushed to next week along with the meetings I’d usually have had.
Alongside that, although it’s made me feel really depressed, I no longer want to go out. It feels like it’s scary out there. DH said maybe we could go out for dinner on Monday with the kids but I don’t want to. I don’t want to go anywhere and the thought of it is making me feel very anxious.
I don’t feel well mentally or physically and now I want to go to bed and not ever get back up. I can easily see how people get to a place where they stop leaving their home, I feel like I’m teetering on the brink of it now.

OP posts:

00100001 · 08/10/2021 08:14

Why were you working when you were ill??

You're probably feeling this way because you haven't been resting.

BogRollBOGOF · 08/10/2021 08:15

You may just need a few extra days to rest and recover and it will likely fall into place when your energy levels are better.

10 days is the period to ensure that you're not contagious but it doesn't mean you're automatically fit to resume normal service at that point.

Original poster

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 08:17

Because I wasn’t really unwell and I’ve so luck to do. I’ve just been tired but that’s life. Most adults are tired most of the time. I wouldn’t have been paid as I’ve only been there five months so I felt I didn’t have much choice.

OP posts:

ButterflyAway · 08/10/2021 08:18

The only person that can trap you in fear and anxiety is yourself. The best way to deal with it is to power through (or if you’re unwell in the long term, speak to your doctor. Don’t discount real depression and anxiety).

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 08/10/2021 08:20

So if you wasn't really ill and was able to work and felt that you were just as tired as any other adult. Then I really don't see what your issue is to be honest.

Original poster

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 08:20

So much to do

OP posts:

Original poster

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 08:24

No, I’m much more tired than usual but I’m not at death’s door.
I’m just really anxious in a way I wasn’t a week ago.

OP posts:

Aposterhasnoname · 08/10/2021 08:27

Most adults are tired most of the time.

Umm, no, they’re really not. Sounds to me like you’re burnt out and need a break.

hennybeans · 08/10/2021 08:29

I can completely understand still feeling tired, overwhelmed, not wanting to face the world after having an illness that most of us have been trying to avoid for the last year and half. You're only just getting over covid and mentally you'll have to recover from the stress of the whole situation.
But in terms of the world being a scary place, you're actually really safe now! You've had it, you have antibodies, you've made it through. Once you physically recover a bit more, you can go out again with a lot less worry than before you had covid.

WTF475878237NC · 08/10/2021 08:30

There's always stuff to do though. At what point do you prioritise your health?

Could you and your husband not afford for you to have three days off sick? If you don't have enough savings for emergencies like this don't go out for dinner on Monday, start saving so you're not too poor to be ill.

DeliaOwens · 08/10/2021 08:31

Be kind to yourself OP. It is very normal to be anxious after a serious illness, and Covid is very serious working whilst I'll hang helped you I expect as Early research suggested that it could take 2 weeks for your body to get over a mild Covid or up to 6 weeks for severe or critical cases. Recovery varies for different people, depending on things like your age and overall health. Fatigue and headache, were the symptoms most likely to linger.
Give yourself space and time. You will feel better, you will go out again, and you will feel less anxious, but only if you allow yourself to heal physically and mentally.

Original poster

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 08:31

Thanks henny
I’m not scared of covid, it just feels unfamiliar and scary out there for no reason I can identity. It’s stupid really, we’ve all had periods of self isolation over the last 18 months - I’ve had three previous ten day stints when I didn’t actually have covid before the rules changed - but this one has really knocked me.

OP posts:

redfernstation · 08/10/2021 08:32

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

So if you wasn't really ill and was able to work and felt that you were just as tired as any other adult. Then I really don't see what your issue is to be honest.

Isn't it fabulous we can all talk about our mental health without basically being shouted down! op anxiety after illness is not uncommon p, and feeling tired all the time m whilst common should not be just accepted. speak to your gp

MichaelGovesBeard · 08/10/2021 08:35

You’ve been ill. You’re not fully recovered. That’s why you’re feeling that way. I have covid recently and had to take two weeks off sick (unpaid) in addition to the ten days isolation, purely due to physical exhaustion.

You need to rest or you’ll dig yourself deeper into this hole and it’ll be much harder to get back out.

belimoo · 08/10/2021 08:40

Some people are so unnecessarily harsh on here. Sorry to hear you've been ill op and that you're now feeling anxious.

It's completely normal after a long period of being inside and especially when you're feeling tired and feel that you have a mountain to face when you do go outside.

It is important to push yourself to do it though so that it doesn't become a bigger issue. You'll soon get to used to being out and about again. Don't push yourself to do too much if you're still feeling unwell though.

2Two · 08/10/2021 08:41

Sounds to me as if you really aren't well enough to go back to work yet and would be fully justified in taking a further week off.

As for going out, I can see that going out for a meal can seem overwhelming. Can you just start slow with a short walk and then extend your excursions gradually from there?

queenrollo · 08/10/2021 08:45

Hi @Tanglefreeunicorn, I know how you feel.
I got to a point in April this year where I was getting used to being back out there and past the isolation of all the lockdowns etc.
We planned a holiday in July and was getting back into cafes for coffee and lunch.
Then just as school broke up - and 4 days before we were due to go on holiday - my son got Covid and I got a positive PCR 4 days later.
I was ill with it, but not terribly so. Longer term it left me with some fatigue and lack of stamina for certain things (i'm mostly past that now) But the absolute worst 'effect' is that I hate leaving the house. Because I have had anxiety in the past I know I have to keep pushing myself, so even when my DH offers to do school runs I fight the urge to let him.
I am not scared of Covid, or any other illness floating about on the breeze. I cannot explain it - I just wake up in the morning feeling absolute dread at having to get in the car and go shopping/school run/work.
Previously my anxiety had specific focus or triggers. This is just a horrible fog of anxiety hanging around, just being a nuisance.

I'm now taking a VitD spray, Vit B Complex and a magnesium supplement as these are all beneficial to dealing with anxiety. And I do a guided meditation daily. It is slowly helping.

You really do have my sympathy and understanding.

LST · 08/10/2021 08:48

I've not left the house for weeks. I'm going to force myself out this weekend.

Ohwhatfunwehad · 08/10/2021 08:55

I'm just getting over covid, and I feel the same about going anywhere. My wish to not go anywhere is simply because I'm just too tired. I took a fortnight off work and I'm still tired.
Let them go and have a few hours to yourself. You really sound like you need a good rest?

Original poster

Tanglefreeunicorn · 08/10/2021 09:02

for other people feeling similarly exhausted and scared by the outside world.

We could afford as a family for me to not be paid, my wages are neither here nor there as a family but it’s the only money I have so it would impact me hugely, although not anyone else.

I’m just so tired. Oh well. Get through today and then it’s the weekend at least, although then it just means I’ll have the children instead of work 😂

OP posts:

Lightswitch123 · 08/10/2021 09:23

I didn't feel like going out for weeks after tonsillitis a few years ago.

It's normal to feel washed out after any illness, particularly if you haven't actually given yourself any time to recover.

Take some time off sick . If you can't afford to do that then you shouldn't be going out for dinner anyway. Sorry to be blunt.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 08/10/2021 09:24

This extreme exhaustion is very typical of covid, even if you feel you are not that 'ill' at the time with it. My children are very tired having had covid and just haven't quite picked up even though it was a few weeks ago, Resting where possible, and vitamins are what we are doing, and perhaps just setting low goals right now- so go out just to keep your hand in but I wouldn't over-tire yourself right now, and if you have a boring life for a few more weeks til you recover, then so be it.

RobinPenguins · 08/10/2021 09:25

You’re still ill. Stay off work and at home till you’re better. Then the outside world won’t seem so scary. You’ve had covid now, the chances of catching it again are really small, so if anything surely this has made going out less scary misses the point

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 08/10/2021 09:25

I agree out for dinner is a nice to do thing, but not what I would be doing after covid, esp as you haven't taken any time off! I would aim to just get through the week. Perhaps you need to be quite blunt with your partner about just how shitty you feel and how much you need support/them stepping up for a week or two. You can't just motor on with these types of viruses regardless.

Babdoc · 08/10/2021 09:29

OP, stop pushing yourself before you are fit enough. You are risking Long Covid if you don’t rest properly and give yourself the recovery time you need. The fatigue is your body telling you to rest. Listen to it.

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