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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's time to end this relationship?

3 replies

BlackandGold0 · 07/10/2021 22:55

I've been in a relationship with a man for around 6 months now. Everything seemed OK in the beginning but I've noticed a few red flags recently, mainly around food.

A few years ago he was overweight but has now lost quite a bit weight and is in great shape. I'm fairly big myself (size 16) and although I would like to lose weight eventually, I'm pretty happy with who I am. It's not the be all and end all for me but I appreciate not everyone feels the same way. Over the last couple of months I've noticed his attitude has changed towards me, particularly when we're talking about food. He has made a few jokey comments about how I'm trying to fatten him up. He also said that he use to eat healthily before I came along. I've never forced him to eat anything that he didn't want to.

Last Saturday I stayed over at his house and I asked him if he wanted me to pick something up for dinner on my way over, but he said it was fine as he already had food in the house. It turned out to be a frozen pizza and some chicken wings (no issue with this btw) but I have no idea how he's come to the conclusion that it's always me suggesting junk food/take always for dinner. He had every opportunity to ask me to buy something healthy that night. I do eat healthy food, lots of fruit and veg. He also made a snappy comment last month when it was my birthday. He'd bought me a few presents along with a box of chocolates. That night we were lying on the sofa watching a film (it must have been around 10pm) and I asked him if he wanted a chocolate to which he replied "no thanks, I don't eat chocolate at an unreasonable hour" Confused. He made me feel awful for eating the chocolates that he bought me!

Clearly he has issues around his weight and food, which I completely understand but I feel that he's trying to make his issues my issues, if that makes sense? I'm pretty confident in my body and I feel he's being somewhat controlling with what I eat/when I eat etc.

AIBU to end the relationship?

OP posts:
GermioneHranger · 07/10/2021 23:06

I mean 10pm is a bit wild for chocolate eating for me!

None of his comments sound particularly bad or red flags to me - is there anything else behind this decision you haven't mentioned? If he was larger and lost weight, then it sounds like he does have some issues with food / weight. However it doesn't sound like he's forcing you to eat / not eat?

Undisclosedlocation · 07/10/2021 23:25

That sounds like an excuse rather than a reason to end things tbh.

That said, if you don’t want to continue seeing him, then of course end it but going on that post alone, no I don’t think it’s a dumpable offence

Owlink · 07/10/2021 23:29

I'm with you OP. He is criticising you, subtly at the moment.

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