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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be concerned

8 replies

Ivylane · 07/10/2021 16:55

DS is 6 and I’ve long noticed that he has a bit of trouble staying focused and will zone out a lot. I’ll ask him to do something simple like put on his socks and will have to remind him several times before he actually does it. He is bright and working at expected levels for most thing and above average at a few things. His social skills are good, he plays well in groups or individually, but he is shy around adults he doesn’t know very well and doesn’t like to meet their eye, has no problem with adults he knows well. This was flagged up as a concern when he was in reception by one of his teachers but when I spoke to the other (more senior teacher) she was confident it was merely shyness. His lack of focus when tasked with something in class was flagged up as a minor concern at the parents evening last year. Fast forward to now, one of the TAs is covering his class for a few days, notorious for being grumpy and very abrupt. At the end of the class I took him back to hand his homework in as I’d asked him two days in a row to hand it in and he’d forgotten. Explained and made a jokey comment about him being forgetful and the TA basically rolled her eyes and implied he’s a nightmare in this regard and she said that it’s “very concerning” how he zones out and she’s even spoken to the SEN member of staff about it, I was a bit floored, and I’m now worried, I said I know he has a problem with concentration but I wasn’t sure what I could do about that, she just said “hopefully he grows out of it” now I’m sitting here worried it’s something seriously wrong? He can sit down and concentrate on the tv, he does struggle to follow instructions sometimes, like at football practice for example, I spoke to him about it today, gently, and he said he finds the work hard, I said is that because you don’t listen? And then he didn’t want to talk anymore. Just stuck now, only other thing to mention is that he is always chewing things, is this a flag for something?

OP posts:
chaos76 · 07/10/2021 16:59

have you had his hearing checked recently this could be the problem

Brollywasntneededafterall · 07/10/2021 17:02

I wish someone had pointed things out when my ds was 6..at 12 looking like adhd has been missed all this time...

Sisiwawa · 07/10/2021 17:03

Dyslexia? Can affect concentration and memory/ remembering instructions

Ivylane · 07/10/2021 17:44

I must confess I don’t know much about dyslexia, I assumed it was mainly to do with trouble reading and writing, he reads very well and is very quick, I think his writing is where it should be for his age, it has never been flagged up as a problem. I’ve just looked up adhd symptoms and he doesn’t have the hyperactivity or impulsiveness symptoms, but he does sound very much like he borderline meets the “inattentive” criteria. If he does have that what is the next steps, should he be being formally assessed in school? Would he get extra support if he does have it?

OP posts:
Ivylane · 07/10/2021 17:52

Thank you for the hearing tip, he’s only had the standard check they do in school and was fine, but wouldn’t hurt to check again.

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 07/10/2021 17:55

My sister was very similar growing up, she got shouted at a lot by teachers for 'zoning out'. Turns out she was deaf in one ear and couldn't hear them half the time.

SammyScrounge · 07/10/2021 17:55

Petit Mal?

Howshouldibehave · 07/10/2021 17:57

Schools won’t be able to assess for ADHD or ADD-you would need to see a paediatrician.

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