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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anxiety over dd going to friends house after school

10 replies

Chloe9871 · 07/10/2021 14:06

I know this is probably going to sound stupid but I suffer with anxiety so just wanted to see other peoples opinions on this.

Dd turned 6 last month, she’s just started year one. Her friends mum came up to me a few weeks ago and said for her daughters birthday she wants a few friends over to their house to play after school, so it will be her daughter, my dd and 2 other girls who are all in a friendship group. She said she didn’t mind dropping my dd off at home either.

She text me yesterday asking me to contact the school to let them know she will be picking my dd up today after school for the birthday party, she said they are dropping one of the other girls off who live on the next road so it will be easy for them to drop my dd off at home too to make things easier for me and she asked for my address.

It’s not like she’s a stranger, my daughter and her daughter have known each other since nursery so this is the 3rd year I’ve known her we’ve spoken a few of times before ( since covid and the one way system it’s hard to speak to anyone) but I just feel so nervous, this is my dds first time going to a friends house after school and being picked up by someone else, I feel nervous aswell about them bringing her home but I keep telling myself iabu as they are dropping another girl off who I know her parents know them very well.

I have to pick my son up who is at reception at the same time so I am just thinking should I just wait for her to pick my dd up so I feel more relaxed about the situation ( as I park near their house anyway, I do know where they live)

Dd is so excited to go and knows who her friends mum is etc I don’t want her to miss out because of my anxiety about it as she’s so happy to go I just feel so nervous and I don’t know whether that’s just because it’s the first time.

AIBu

OP posts:

VanillaIce1 · 07/10/2021 14:08

I know how you feel I'd feel exactly the same my daughter has sen needs too so is very immature for her age.
I haven't found anything that helps me deal with it to be honest.
But you're not alone

lifecoachingandotherbollocks · 07/10/2021 14:09

I think if you wait discretely that would be ok. She will have a super time and be fine!

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2021 14:13

I used to meet my kids after school and tell the other parent it was so I could grab their book bag and lunch box (I'd be picking my other DC up anyway).

On the odd occasion I wouldn't be going to the school, I'd ask the other parent to message me when they got home.

It was just a standard thing at that age and no-one thought of it as odd.

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2021 14:14

Oh I should've added.

I don't suffer with anxiety, it was just what parents did to put their minds at rest or in case their child changed their mind about going.

LagneyandCasey · 07/10/2021 14:14

Totally understandable. Try and hold on to the fact that your dd is excited and it will be fun for her. You can always go and collect her if you're worried about her being dropped home.

Wilkolampshade · 07/10/2021 14:17

If you're there anyway, just keep an eye out, if you see her, give her a cheery wave and a big, happy 'Byeee, have a lovely time darling!'
I wasn't one for much anxiety around this but you really do have my sympathies. There are things that do worry me with my girls, even now they're great big grown ups, but the thing is let them feel you have every confidence in them succeeding out in the world (even if you're quaking inside)...

ACNHMAMA · 07/10/2021 14:18

Totally understandable. I've had this recently with DS who is 8. I think we would have had it sooner if it wasn't for Covid. DS was absolutely fine. His friend was fine when he came around.

If you need to go to school anyway there's nothing wrong with waving them off while you're there.

Original poster

Chloe9871 · 07/10/2021 14:29

Thanks for all your replies it has put me at ease slightly I’m not the only one.

I’m taking ds for his first dentist appointment straight after school so Atleast that will take my mind of worrying about dd and I’ll have something else to worry about 🤣

My dd is very mature sensible and independent at the age of 6 so I have no doubt she will have a really nice time. I guess it’s me that’s the problem. Hopefully she will be coming out at the same time as I pick ds up so if I see her I might just do as someone suggested and go over to collect her book bag and lunch bag etc.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2021 14:44

Good luck OP and make sure you and the parent have swapped numbers.

Marmelace · 07/10/2021 14:55

I had the same feelings when this happened with each of my boys. They are all in their 20s now. The mum has your number and knows your address, the school know and you are going to be there. Not easy I know but try not too worry. I used to do something busy to make the time pass quicker whilst they weren't there

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