Anyone else feel that they don’t fit into groups?

[Borderline998]

I know some people just bond better with others than with you and it’s part of life, but in a group of 3 for instance I always feel like an outsider.
It happened again this week. I was training somebody new at work, it was just me and her and the day after there were 3 of us. The new lady seemed more interested in my colleague and in spending time with her. It’s fine of course but when it happens a few times it gets frustrating, I feel like I lack charisma and I’m too quiet. I always feel like I’m just tagging along.
In groups I tend to be ignored and fade into the background a little. I’m not somebody who wants to be the centre of attention all the time but I do feel like I don’t gel with people. I find conversation tough a lot of the time besides small talk, and I suppose I’m quite flat, one note.
Also get quite drained and need a lot of time alone, it’s one of the reasons I took my job as a community carer, as I get to spend a lot of my time alone.

Anyone else ever felt this way and how did you manage to overcome it? Thank you

I accept it now and have realised that whilst I often wish I was sociable and normal, I'm just not, and prefer being on my own or just with one other person as it's exhausting. I'm awaiting an autism assessment.

I hope your assessment goes well and benefits you, I’ve often wondered if I am on the spectrum too.
I’ve always just felt different and awkward, always been shy too which has shown in workplaces etc

Yes totally. I find it so much easier to talk to people 1 on 1, group chats make me quite anxious if I don't know many people in the group. Once I've gotten to know several people in a group then I'm fine with it, but much prefer chatting in twos. I also have a thing where if there is more than one conversation going on at the same time around me plus noise like the tv, children playing, other groups laughing etc I can get very disoriented and struggle to focus on any one thing. If my husband is trying to chat to me while my son is laughing at the tv (for example) I find it quite stressful. So yes, small quiet chats rather than being in a big group works best for me.

I've always been that way and like you, OP.

I just learned to accept it as who I am. One-on-one usually works best for me and I've had rich friendships/relationships with a few people based on that.

Im like this too. I also hate communal social situations. I hate the fake frivolity of a group.