AIBU to not give a birthday gift ?

[justhereforthecraic]

I think I know the answer already but would it be unreasonable not to give my "friend" a birthday gift ? I used to think we were close, but I have seen a differant side to her in the past few months. I think our friendship has changed from my side as she has become very selfish, nobody is allowed to have any life issues except for her and she seems to have pulled away to spend time with her on/off boyfriend...unless hes busy or has done a runner again and she needs entertained!

Her birthday Is coming up and we normally all get each other gifts.(we are a small group of friends) I'm thinking sending her a gift will make me very 2 faced as I have been quite short with her in texts and not responding to her requests to meet up(however she never follows through with them anyway) ?

It depends if you want to continue the friendship. If you do, outwardly snubbing her on her birthday isn’t going to help that.

Im sad that our friendship has come to this as we get on so well but i cant keep going back and forward with her. Im not the only one who sees her for what she is so she may lose out on another birthday present ( but that is not for me to worry about !!!)

Personally, i think our friendship on a 1:1 basis is slowly dying a death. We do share friends and we tend to do things as a group every few months so that may be awkward. I just cant keep going on like this with her

You don’t like the girl, in fact you grinning about the fact that another friend has turned against her tells me that your dislike for her is pretty strong, so no, don’t be two faced by getting her a birthday present.

@PinkSyCo
god, that grin was badly utililised

we haven't turned against her, just pulling back slowly and yes, buying a present would be 2 faced

If you don’t want to get her a gift don’t. You do seem quite happy about the prospect of others also subbing her on her birthday though - which tbh doesn’t seem very nice. If I was phasing out a friendship I’d just buy something small chocolates, candle etc especially if I was still seeing them as part of a group - but then again I’m a bit of a people pleaser. I’d just caution against speaking badly about her to others in the group as sometimes that can come back to bite you.

Why are you even going to her birthday if you feel that the friendship is over?

I would just give her a card. I don’t think a card is overly friendly or two faced. I wouldn’t gift though.

@SilverTotoro , to be honest, im not too bothered if others in the group snub her or not. People can make their own decisions about her.... i think i should have left out that grin at the end of the sentence so my apologies if that was misconstrued as me
not being a nice person. Im really not that bad lol

@Busybubbles oh a card might be a shout? thank you!

@Shoxfordian there is no birthday party/night out?! it would have been a posted birthday present or a visit to her house?

Well don’t bother doing that if you’re not going to stay friends