To ask if you always tell your grown up children you are going on holiday!

[Klac30]

Light hearted really. My mum tells me everything - can't even go to the shops without her filling me in.

Dp's mum is a little different.

Dp's mum lives really close by. We see her quite a lot and dp works just uo the road so often pops in for a 10 minute cuppa before coming home.

He's been popping in all week and she's not been in - he thought she was at work, she works long hours. She's not elderly. Tried messaging her about something and no reply for 2/3 days which is pretty usual for her - she's a technophobe. She has replied now saying she's away.

Turns out she's gone away for the week. Without saying a thing.

She can do what she wants of course.

But aibu to think it's a bit odd she didn't inform Dp that she was going away? Usually she asks him to go in and check on the house etc.

Don't even know where she's gone but she's away apparently - both her and her long term partner!

Just find it a bit odd. Most weeks Dp will take Dd over on a Sunday morning for breakfast. He doesn't even ask first usually as she never checks her phone but she expects it and loves Dd going over. She's usually already for the breakfast on expecting them. Yet they won't even be in this week and we wouldn't have known if he didn't chase her up 😅

I don't even live in the same country as my parents and they tell me when they're going on holiday

It would be extremely odd in our family, so I agree she should have said something. Though I expect you'll get a lot of replies here saying she's an adult, doesn't have to ask permission etc etc!

@mrsevangelina

It would be extremely odd in our family, so I agree she should have said something. Though I expect you'll get a lot of replies here saying she's an adult, doesn't have to ask permission etc etc!

Oh absolutely. She can do what she wants. Just found it off she didn't mention when Dp Seen her last! He usually goes in and checks the house etc!

I think it’s unusual not to mention you’ve got a holiday coming up.

Its odd not to in the context of her expecting her son to bring your DD for breakfast every Sunday and being set up and waiting for them every week without calling to confirm... but not telling him she won't be there this week!

That's a bit self involved if she'd be put out if he didn't turn up because you were away... but alternatively its refreshingly relaxed if she'd be perfectly happy and unphased if he didn't turn up!

Depends whether it works both ways!

I live in a different country to my parents and my mum sends me an email, like an out of office in advance, if she's going away. I've never quite understand why as I definitely wouldn't turn up unannounced given getting there takes a full day travelling! In fact I haven't turned up at her door unannounced since I went to university at 18, which was a very long time ago!

I watch far to many murder documentaries clearly because my first thought was, she's been murdered and that isn't her replying! 🙈

That's odd not to mention an up coming holiday at any point during the 10 min cuppas!

I think it's just common sense to pass that kind of information on, noting to do with asking permission of being monitored. If anyone I knew (not just an older person) didn't answer their door several days in a row or answer a text message I would be very concerned something was wrong.

My adult dc usually come with us!

I live the other side of the country to my family and in-laws live in another country. Both would still let us know they’re going away. Not in a way so we can’t drop in, as we wouldn’t anyway, but it would definitely come up in conversation in the proceeding weeks.

@unfortunateevents

I think it's just common sense to pass that kind of information on, noting to do with asking permission of being monitored. If anyone I knew (not just an older person) didn't answer their door several days in a row or answer a text message I would be very concerned something was wrong.

We were certain she was fine! Dp has a key to let himself in which he did and she has a partner who admittedly works away sometimes but he would know she's fine too! Plus it was obvious she was out as no cars in the drive. She is a great mother and grandmother she's just a very closed book sometimes! It's a whole different thing to my family who I think over share at times!

It is odd especially as people aren't going away much at the moment so it's a bit of a novelty.

@mewkins

It is odd especially as people aren't going away much at the moment so it's a bit of a novelty.

I don't think she's gone abroad but even so I know what you mean!

My step-son complains that me and his dad do this. Pre COVID we used to travel quite a lot and there may have been the odd occasion when we’ve forgotten to tell him we were going away. I do try to remember now.