Sorry I’m at a loss and no idea where to ask for help.
My daughters father has applied for court against me in regards to a child arrangement order.
In short my daughters father walked out when I was pregnant and has been pretty absent since. I did really try when she was born, he came to register her and we gave her both our names. But the novelty wore off and he was never consistent.
Fast forward to now she’s just turned 3, he has her 2 days a month 9-4 ( usually every other Saturday ) which started in January time.
He’s never had her over night, she suffers seizures and he’s never been to the hospital etc, never asks how she is never asks to see her and for the last 2 months hasn’t even done his 2 days a month. I suspect his attitude is he will just see her after a court order is out in place- but it just seems confusing for me to stop in the mean time ?
I can imagine he’s asking for every other weekend over night contact. He asked me for this in may - yet he was still seeing her 2 days a month- so I suggested one night every other weekend if he can assure me he is no longer taking cocaine ( will come back to this ) and one night during the week for tea to build a good routine and involve him in daily life.
This was met with no ill take you to court then. Which he has now done. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable expecting contact to build up? She calls him by his first name she has no emotional attachment and I seriously worry how she would handle being away for a full weekend after such minimal contact.
He’s also told me he won’t see her during the week- as he works full time. So do I but I still raise her and care for her and I can’t understand why that should be any different ?
So I basically just wanted advise before my caffcass meeting, I can’t afford legal advice and quite frankly I’m terrified. He is so narcissistic and if I say somethings black it’s white. He won’t listen to anything I say regarding her best interests just because it’s me saying it. I just wanted to realistically know what I should be expecting ? Will my reasons for wanting to build up to full weekend contact be listened to?
Also the cocaine issue- when she was 5 months old he came to see her and used my bathroom- and left a bag of cocaine on the side of my sink. I obviously kicked him out of my house and it’s terrified me since. I took photo evidence but again not sure if court will take this into consideration!