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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull out of house purchase?

32 replies

SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 05:42

Wasn’t sure where to put this but here goes.

We are in a small chain - our buyer (first time buyer), us and our vendor (buying a new build which isn’t yet built).

All contracts are signed and ready to exchange and we and our buyers have agreed a completion date. Our vendor said all along that he was flexible and would happily move into an Airbnb on completion. He is now trying to find a rental property in a very difficult market - each house seems to be wanted by 5+ people. He was accepted for a property a couple of days ago but lost it as the landlord chose another tenant over him for reasons unknown.

Ourselves and the buyer are ready to exchange. Our vendor will only exchange when he has found a property and will ‘work towards’ our agreed completion date. This date cannot be changed for reasons financial and practical on both our and our buyers side.

I don’t want to risk losing our buyer and am considering pulling out of the house purchase. I am incredibly sad at the thought of doing so but unsure of what else to do. I feel like to wait night jeopardise my sale.

My kids are settled into childcare in our new area and I have a new job. We’re currently living with family and popping back home every few days. It’s been really tough on us all. I’m just wondering what other people would do. Please be kind - it’s been such a rollercoaster.

OP posts:
HotToddyColdSauvignon · 06/10/2021 05:48

Tricky. If you haven’t exchanged yet with your house purchase then technically, all gets are off still

I’d go ahead with your exchange with your buyer below you, and let your vendor know to agree to exchange on X date - otherwise you’re walking.

He doesn’t have to exchange and complete on the same day, you’re not kicking him out, but he needs to show some sign of commitment to getting things going

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 06/10/2021 05:52

Pulling out means back to square 1.
Can you speak to the vendor directly / face to face and try and resolve before going for the nuclear option.

Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 05:54

Thanks @HotToddyColdSauvignon - I wasn’t sure if we could exchange with our buyer or whether we had to wait for our vendor to be ready at the same time so that’s great. I’ll ask to exchange with them today.

OP posts:
DollyDinkle · 06/10/2021 05:56

I'm pretty sure you have to all exchange at the same time in the chain

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 06/10/2021 05:58

Of course you can - the reason why all the solicitors and estate agents will prefer to wait for everyone to be ready is because it is a risk of course.

If you go down this route you need to be prepared to lose the house you want to but, but as you sound like you’ve thought about that, then you do want you need to

House buying is a war unfortunately most of the time

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 06/10/2021 06:01
  • you’ll basically be “breaking the chain”

It’ll then be just a transaction between you and your house buyer

Blessex · 06/10/2021 06:02

You can sell your house and exchange unilaterally.

Blessex · 06/10/2021 06:04

Ps my DSis did this recently. Sold theirs. Didn’t have anywhere to buy so moved in with our parents. Now they are waiting as cash buyers for the property they want - and because cash buyers they are more likely to get it. Just means you need to have somewhere to live in the meantime that’s all.

Hercisback · 06/10/2021 06:06

Sell your house if you have somewhere to live and store everything. Then wait to purchase his house when he is in a position to sell.

EdgeOfTheSky · 06/10/2021 06:08

So what would you do? Carry on staying with family and wait for your vendors to be ready? or find somewhere else to buy?

LouLou789 · 06/10/2021 06:15

You can exchange and complete your sale, carry on living with family and pay to have your stuff stored if this suits you. You can do this whether you go ahead with this vendor or look for another house but bear in mind that if you start with a different property you are back to square one with all the paperwork. I’d be inclined to give your vendor an ultimatum of completing by a certain date (which can be a bit later than the completion of your sale if you can continue staying with family for a short while,)

Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 06:16

Apologies - I don’t think I out in my first post that we have no intention of pulling out of our sale - we’re more than happy to go into rented ourselves if it means we still make our sale and don’t let our buyers down.

OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 06/10/2021 06:17

I would start looking for another place without telling the buyer and vendor and pull out when I find it.

I would definitively NOT exchange with my buyer before then, prices are not very stable at the moment so you might be priced out of the market or feeling forced into buying something you don’t quite like before you are priced out.

Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 06:23

Thanks everyone - you’ve been really helpful and I’ve got a lot to think about now. I think our preference would be to sell and stay with family until our vendor can move - but to give him an end date by which this needs to be done.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 06/10/2021 06:23

You’ll lose your buyer if you don’t complete, is that what you’re saying? I don’t get how you’ll be able to get a rental and your vendors can’t. So I’d be very dubious about doing this.

I’ve said YANBU to want to do it. But the practicalities are a) finding somewhere and b) understanding that the risk is house prices will go up and the type of property you want will be over your budget.

Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 06:26

@GrandmasCat

I would start looking for another place without telling the buyer and vendor and pull out when I find it.

I would definitively NOT exchange with my buyer before then, prices are not very stable at the moment so you might be priced out of the market or feeling forced into buying something you don’t quite like before you are priced out.

Thankyou. I actually rang an estate agent yesterday to enquire about a house we had viewed right at the start of our process - at the time our vendor was being incredibly slow at appointing a solicitor after accepting our offer so we took ourselves off for a look elsewhere (should have seen this coming…) We offered on a property but they chose a cash buyer. That sale doesn’t look like it’s gone ahead for some reason. I’m hearing back from them today.
OP posts:
Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 06:28

@Mummyoflittledragon

You’ll lose your buyer if you don’t complete, is that what you’re saying? I don’t get how you’ll be able to get a rental and your vendors can’t. So I’d be very dubious about doing this.

I’ve said YANBU to want to do it. But the practicalities are a) finding somewhere and b) understanding that the risk is house prices will go up and the type of property you want will be over your budget.

We’d go through Airbnb (sorry - should have typed this, sleep deprived!

And yes - in our chosen area house prices have shot up.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/10/2021 06:37

Fingers crossed for you that the other house you viewed is available and amenable to your offer this time - I think you should let your vendor know immediately that you have started looking again though, if you haven't already.

WhenwillSleephappen · 06/10/2021 07:07

We considered selling our house and renting so we didn’t lose our buyer. But it meant storing things (or finding a unfurnished place and paying to move our stuff) & also then we were worried about completing in time to be able to move out of a rental.
In the end we decided to let the sale of our house fall through (the people had a specific time frame they hadn’t told us about at the start) and eventually we found a new buyer. We found a house we loved and it all worked out for us. It was very very stressful though snd we excepted a slightly lower offer on our house in the end.
I never want to move again!

Idony · 06/10/2021 08:47

We had this: the seller promised to rent, and then obviously didn't, staying put for around 9 months until we threatened to pull out. Our buyers were patient but they were at the end of their tether too.

I think it's a common promise they make and have little intention to fulfill.

Threaten it. He might move.

Original poster
SheeceRearsmith · 06/10/2021 09:16

Thanks all - you’ve all been so helpful. I’ll keep you posted as this thread could help some other buyers/sellers in the future!

OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 06/10/2021 09:32

We were in a chain for 6 months waiting for someone near the top to find something. It was quite cheeky of them really to keep us waiting while they made their minds.

After having the exchange date changed 3 times, we were told he wanted another extension. I told the agent that if the contracts were not exchanged by the end of the week, we were pulling out. We moved 4 days later.

I wouldn’t dream of telling a seller who is taking their time that you have sold and are staying with your mum until they are ready. You lose all your negotiating power, they will never be ready if you think you are happy to wait… and I say that as someone who saw over 30 houses before deciding on one, sadly there is not so much in the market these days so it may take them forever.

Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 06/10/2021 09:41

I would get the estate agent to put some pressure on him, make him aware you’ve had enough and are looking at other properties, if that doesn’t give him the incentive to complete the sale then you will know where you stand and can proceed from there.

ethelredonagoodday · 06/10/2021 10:33

@Idony

We had this: the seller promised to rent, and then obviously didn't, staying put for around 9 months until we threatened to pull out. Our buyers were patient but they were at the end of their tether too.

I think it's a common promise they make and have little intention to fulfill.

Threaten it. He might move.

Yes us too. Was soooooo frustrating. We got there in the end, but nearly had a breakdown in the process. Good luck OP, hope the vendor realises you mean business and gets a wriggle on!
Muffinbutton · 06/10/2021 10:57

We had a similar short chain. I was desperate to keep our buyer, they were in rented and needed to stick to tight timescales.
We exchanged on our sale first, knowing that we might end up selling before the purchase went through but we were happy to take the risk as it had taken 3 years off and on to sell.
We then managed to exchange on our purchase 6 weeks later, and then a few weeks after that we all completed on the same day.

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