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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't have photos of my own children in nursery...

37 replies

Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:19

My two children go to a local nursery. Yesterday they had a visit from the community police who went to say hello and interact with the children, all quite lovely and I'm told my special needs DS especially loved it.

DH went to collect them at pick up and one of the nursery assistants showed him some photos on her phone of our two, playing with the police, wearing the hats and having a great time.

I later sent a message to the nursery manager and politely asked if she could send me those photos as i'd love to see, I haven't been able to do pick up for a while as I'm 9 months pregnant and not very mobile.

She said she would have to ask the police if I could have the photos first Confused

I thought that was a bit odd as they'd obviously given permission for the photos to be taken in the first place.

Anyway, I've just been on Instagram and the nursery have uploaded these photos of my two with the police, and some of DS on his own with the police hat on with his face blurred but the police officers faces not blurred.

It's standard procedure for the nursery to blur the kids faces when they upload them on social media, but why on earth can they not just send me them privately unblurred?

What's with the faff about needing to ask the police? Especially as there are pictures of his DS on his own Confused

AIBU to think this is bloody stupid?

I've had a bad day and I'm fed up so may or may not be over reacting but it has got my back up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:24

This is one of the pictures of my two on their Instagram, blurred to protect their identity for obvious reasons.

Why do they need to ask the police if I can have this photo?!

Can't have photos of my own children in nursery...
OP posts:
SlB09 · 05/10/2021 21:26

WTF??!!!! This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!!
Can plaster it in social media, nursery staff can ha e it on her phone but the child's parents can't have a copy???? Eeee laughable!

loafcake · 05/10/2021 21:27

That's weird, they've already put it on the internet yet you can't have this photo of your own children? It doesn't even have any of the police officers in it??

I can understand the ones with them in, but not this one 😂

5zeds · 05/10/2021 21:27

Perhaps they just think it’s good manners to ask? I think you’ll get the pics tomorrow when they’ve ticked there “check with the visitors” box

FuckingFlumps · 05/10/2021 21:28

one of the nursery assistants showed him some photos on her phone

Woah Woah Woah hold up there... On her personal phone or do you mean a nursery tablet? If the former you have much much bigger problems that whether or not they are sending you unblurred photos.

user1471543683 · 05/10/2021 21:29

They should definitely not be taking photos on their own phones.

Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:30

My thoughts exactly, it's totally nonsensical. I was expecting the photos to be of my children posing for pictures with the police and therefore the nursery wanted to check with the police that it's ok to forward them as a matter of politeness, like you suggested 5z.

Imagine my confusion when I see these on their social media page, so it's ok to share the photos with the wider public but god forbid a parent wants to have them.

OP posts:
Thehop · 05/10/2021 21:30

Her own phone or a nursery phone op?

toomuchlaundry · 05/10/2021 21:31

@FuckingFlumps I was going to ask that

Orangejuicemarathoner · 05/10/2021 21:31

@FuckingFlumps

one of the nursery assistants showed him some photos on her phone

Woah Woah Woah hold up there... On her personal phone or do you mean a nursery tablet? If the former you have much much bigger problems that whether or not they are sending you unblurred photos.

no you don't, staff can use personal phones, as long as they are downloaded and deleted from the phone before the phone leaves the building
Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:31

@FuckingFlumps

one of the nursery assistants showed him some photos on her phone

Woah Woah Woah hold up there... On her personal phone or do you mean a nursery tablet? If the former you have much much bigger problems that whether or not they are sending you unblurred photos.

It was on the nursery assistants phone yes, I don't know if it's a work phone or personal one but she uploads to the nursery Instagram from it.
OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 05/10/2021 21:31

@SlB09

WTF??!!!! This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!! Can plaster it in social media, nursery staff can ha e it on her phone but the child's parents can't have a copy???? Eeee laughable!

beyond weird I agree Confused

Popfan · 05/10/2021 21:32

Also querying the phone - assuming a nursery tablet? No way should it be a personal phone.

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 21:32

On her own phone?!!! Are you sure it was her own phone.. that's not right.

FuckingFlumps · 05/10/2021 21:33

no you don't, staff can use personal phones, as long as they are downloaded and deleted from the phone before the phone leaves the building

Since when? A nursery allowing their staff to use personal phones is about as big a safeguarding no no as you can get!

Twickerhun · 05/10/2021 21:34

Seems like a massive over reaction from the nursery. Some kind of power trip? Or do they think the police shouldn’t have let the kids pose with police hats?

Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:35

It's really got my back up, but then I might be projecting because I've had a shitty day in general.

Good points raised about the photos being on the phone, so the nursery staff can have photos of my children on their (possibly personal) phone but I can't without clearance from the police, who aren't even featured in the bulk of them Confused

More irony.. the photos which the police officers are visible on, that have been uploaded, don't have their faces blurred.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:36

@Twickerhun

Seems like a massive over reaction from the nursery. Some kind of power trip? Or do they think the police shouldn’t have let the kids pose with police hats?
I think power trip definitely.
OP posts:
BrendaBubbles · 05/10/2021 21:40

I think it’s silly though I might not ruin the relationship over it. Could you get your children to do a similar pose and then photoshop/edit the face over the top? It might look okay

hookiewookie29 · 05/10/2021 21:43

Photos on their personal phones is an absolute no no. Any photos I take on my phone automatically upload to my Google photo account so even when I delete them off my phone, they're still visible on there. Definitely a safeguarding issue, I would not be happy!

Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:44

I totally overlooked that.

I automatically assumed it was a designated work device when DH relayed seeing the photos on the phone.

Wow. You're all right. I need to look into that.

OP posts:
FuckingFlumps · 05/10/2021 21:46

It's really got my back up, but then I might be projecting because I've had a shitty day in general.

You're not projecting at all. You absolutely need to find out about the use of the phone though as a matter of urgency. If its a staff members personal phone you need to get that investigated ASAP.

Original poster
Clairesd4 · 05/10/2021 21:48

The member of staff is a young apprentice of about 17 (ish) I would say.

I will get clarification tomorrow as I already have to call them up in the morning, they didn't put DD's comforter back in her bag again

OP posts:
godmum56 · 05/10/2021 22:03

If she is an apprentice then deffo get clarification about all of it...It sounds like she has got things arse upwards there

AmIatotalthicko · 05/10/2021 22:04

We had to put our phones in a box in the managers office. I can't believe they are allowed to take photos on personal phones!