To not have a birthday party for my 4 year old?

[PartyPoopertime]

DS is turning 4 soon. He's my first so not sure what the done thing is. He has started being invited to nursery friends birthday parties.
I just don't know how much he'd enjoy/appreciate a party at his age!? I feel like he'd just get overwhelmed!
PIL and SIL basically insinuated that it's cruel not to?
AIBU to not do a party?

We'd have presents and cake/balloons on the day (just parents him and little brother)

Mine is turning 4 in a about 5 months. We've also had the nursery invites and I'm worrying about having to do a party

I feel like it's just awkward. It's not like primary school where the necessarily have proper friends.

Mine is 5 in Jan and having first party then. Remember we had one at pizza express when he was 2 but it was a our friends..really just an excuse for a meal out. He loved that but he was a quirky kid

Not cruel not to have a party obviously.

But my now 8 year old still remembers and talks about his 4th birthday. It was a busy stressful day for me, but he loved it and I am glad he had one.

Thanks for all the replies!

Ah I still feel conflicted now reading the comments! It seems like lots of peoples little ones enjoyed it.
I don't necessarily think he'd be bothered with a party but as mentioned by a PP, I actually think just the four of us at home isn't very special now I think about it.

Family aren't really an option as they all live quite far away/abroad.
I did have cousins/family for his first birthday.

I took my 4 year old trampolining with her 3 cousins and brother. Pizza after. She loved it. She couldn’t really decide who she wanted to invite to a party from nursery and didn’t seem bothered about a big party at all.

We did one at home with 4 friends at age 4. They played in the garden, ate some food and went home after 2 hours it was lovely. I knew the parents from preschool so no adults stayed which I preferred

Weve just had a party for dd2s 3rd birthday and she absolutely loved it- church hall with soft play, a bouncy castle and an entertainer then party food and a character visit. There was 10 kids plus 4 baby siblings which was a good amount and she absolutely loved it and hasnt stopped talking about it since. My eldest started having parties from 3 as well and she always had a ball. I do think it depends on personality though and what they're used to - my dd is very sociable and goes to lots of playgroups and toddler classes so it wasn't overwhelming for her at all just very exciting. We did have tears at the end but not from her, that was my 6 year old stepson who didn't want the bouncy castle to leave!

We’ve just done one for DS at 4. 8 of his preschool friends. Party games, birthday tea, party bags. Cost about £50 in all. They loved it.

I didn’t until they were older

We did parties from age 3. My dds both enjoyed them and love looking back on birthday memories. My 7yo can remember everyone at her 3rd birthday! But I had friends with 3 year olds as well as nursery friends, so it wasn't a load of strangers, and I'm quite extrovert so it wouldn't stress me out. We don't have a big family and it's mostly older generation so no fun big family get togethers- I suppose we've tried to develop friendships.

By 4 mine were very aware and wanted a party - probably 8-10 kids. If your ds isn't bothered there's no need. Mine are still into parties but not all kids are.

We've done parties of a sort for all of DDs birthdays - her 4th was at a local miniature railway centre were they got to ride trains & play. She & her friends (mostly from nursery, some family friends & family) loved it.
We've done small parties at home; a joint village hall party with bouncy castle; a trampoline party; a forest school party & last month a whole class party at a soft play for her 7th.
DS had a small home party for his 1st, but his subsequent birthday's have been in lockdown. His 4th next year will definitely be a proper party.
Parties can be very stressful if you're doing everything yourself; but if you go for somewhere that supplies the food & entertainment, it's a lot easier.