to want a different life?

[twoandeights]

All I’ve ever wanted is a big, close family and I don’t know how to get it. I see photos of friends throwing baby showers/hen parties for sisters/cousins. I never had that. I’ve always had to take care of myself. My mother is emotionally draining and me and my sister aren’t close. I have a best friend but she lives a long way from me so I rarely see her. I long for those close female bonds that I’ve never had. How do you get a big close family unit if you’ve never had it?

All you can do is get out there and meet people and try to make friends, as well as keeping up with and maybe trying to become closer with the friends and acquaintances you have.

I think you have to adjust your expectations though. Some people have what you have described but most don't, it isn't the norm. Having a few friends is realistic for an adult, having a group of super close friends isn't I don't think.

Honestly I’d like that too but it’s not going to happen. I am an only child with no close relatives & I do find myself feeling a little sad when I see big family groups out celebrating. I’ve come to terms with it and make the best of relationships I have with those around me who are not family.

Throw yourself into meeting people and having fun
Express emotions such as joy and excitement freely.
Be the glue that holds relationships together by inviting people to places
Show gratitude by volunteering- you will also meet people here.
Make your living space joyful and warm with possessions you love
Say yes to everything and go along with an open mind.

I wish I had that too but it’s not going to happen. I spend time making sure I keep my friends close and organise lots of things for us to do. I had a baby, and plan to have more than one, so I’ve already doubled my family unit from just myself and DH.

I totally understand how you feel OP. I would love that too. I have no strong female bonds left in my life now, and it’s really hard. I am genuinely pleased for people that have that and wish it was the case for me. I have a very good friend but we also live far away from each other. I think I just expect too much sometimes and try to focus on the good things in my life. Sorry you are feeling like this. It’s taken me a long time to accept that what I would love I will never have again. Good luck going forward.

I also yearn for this. Not on the cards though.

It helps to look at your own life from someone else's perspective, try to see all the good things you have that someone else might not.

It's better to be thankful for what you have than spend another minute being sad over something you don't. You can choose to be happy

Make friends, have your own family, marry into a big family.