I think expectations of customers can largely be inferred by the type of dining on offer.
People generally expect a quicker service in causal restaurants, family orientated places etc.
In more formal restaurants, customers can unobtrusively be checked in on, asked if they are ready. It’s not a case of damned if you do dammed if you don’t.
People generally expect a bit of a gap between courses if out for the evening. I genuinely don’t think many people go out expecting 5 /10 minutes between courses. That’s rushed.
Water can be topped up, drinks orders taken between courses if the kitchen is running a bit slow. That’s still attentive service.
True in part about the type of establishment, you'd expect fast service in McDonald's compared to The Ivy.
But there's a myriad of places in between those, and expecting people who've never met you to guess your preference and then moaning when they get it wrong is a bit counter productive.
What's wrong with asking for a bit more time with the menu or a drink order when you're having the mains cleared before dessert orders? Rather than being rushed through your meal that you want to linger over and then moaning about it afterwards?
And if places are placing a 90 min or 2 hours limit on tables and you accept that, then why complain you feel rushed afterwards?
Check backs on tables are often complained about too, the filling of the water, offering drinks orders etc, some people want to be left alone, some people complain if a waiter doesn't appear the second they decide they want an order taken. What you consider attentive service is overbearing to someone else.
If you've got specific requirements for that meal, then it won't diminish your experience to communicate those and get what you want.
Though I guess it does deprive people of a damned good moan afterwards.