Am I overreacting to this, potential red flags?

[Wutheringheights2021]

Not sure if AIBU or relationships was the best place to post this as it's with relation to a new relationship and my reaction to something that just occurred.
I met a guy a short while ago, through a friend. He is very nice, attractive, respectful etc. I am a single parent and I also work full time, we've met up a few times, I will not bring him back to my property or go to his as my daughters safety comes first before anything, you just can't put your trust fully in someone these days.
Anyway, he is aware that in my line of work I cannot use my personal mobile phone, he went out with his friends over the weekend and got wasted, fine - that's his choice, he was texting me a load of drunk shit which I chose not to entertain. On Sunday I sent him a message just to ask how he was etc. He didn't reply, again fine - no issues, I'm not needy or need validation.
He choses to reply at 2.30pm this afternoon to tell me he was so wasted he spent the day in bed and then saw his family in the evening, completely fine, however I only saw this message after I finished work, I usually catch up with all of my messages after I sort DD out, put her to bed, sit down with my dinner, I have an hour on my phone normally just catching up. Whilst I am sorting out DD he sends me a text to say whatsapp is down but he's messaged me, and hopes I am ok. He knows I wouldn't have ever replied at 2.30p in the afternoon, and he is also aware that I message in the evenings just because I won't entertain using my phone in the one hour I have with DD after I have picked her up from childcare.
After his text he sends another text to ask if I am ok, then he rings.
I'm a bit put off to be honest, he is fully aware of my routine and when I take the time to message etc, it's completely up to him whether it suits him or not and if not then he can say goodbye to me.
Would this put you off?
I absolutely hate when people text and text again, I do take a while to reply, however it is all within the same day, I don't leave messages unread and never reply.
I'm just busy with life and he knows that.
Am I overreacting to be put off by this? - FWIW, I called him back just to say I was busy with DD but I would speak to him later and feel a bit like I've just given into him, I should have waited and until I was ready to reply to him instead of appeasing him.
What do you think?

I definitely don't want a serious relationship.
I think we are definitely in different stages of life.
I agree I am inflexible and things are on my terms.
I perhaps need to rethink it all. I'm not after marriage though..

You sound very much like hard work to me. It takes 2 minutes to send a text.

However, how old is he? Going out getting wasted sounds a bit immature.

From your posts I can’t figure out why you want to be involved with him tbh OP - you sound lukewarm about the whole thing at best (which is fine, obvs - you’re allowed to feel that way!) Life’s too short to waste time on that kind of relationship; if he gives you the ick for whatever reason, trust your gut and find someone you’re sure about.

FWIW you sound like a good mum.

I can't see how he's done anything wrong

He's the same age as me but we are at different stages I think. He's been divorced for two years and is probably having a bit of a mid life crisis and reliving his youth.. The getting wasted does give me the ick.. But he's kind and respectful and is always very complimentary etc.
I guess I perhaps need to raise my own bar a bit and not just settle. Yes, I perhaps come across as hard work but I really do put my daughter above all else.

Sounds like beer fear (aka the horrors) to me. I used to get like this (years ago) after a heavy drinking session. Overthinking things and paranoid that I'd annoyed my friends/ boyfriend and start ringing and texting like this. By Tuesday I was usually back to myself!

Don't kick him to the curb just yet. He sounds quite caring and seems understanding of your situation.

YANBU.

I'd be put off too OP. Maybe keep an eye on that and see if he would do it again?

I don't think there is anything wrong with having boundaries and putting your daughter first by the way. I just think that your reaction to him trying to contact you while you were with your daughter is a bit odd. Especially to see that as a 'red flag'. You don't have to answer messages or pick up the phone until it's convenient for you to do that.

You are obviously BU, I too hate when people constantly text or ring me but he hasn’t done this so this so you are massively overreacting.

However as a single parent I have tried dating men who don’t have children and I haven’t managed to get it to work. They don’t understand how little time you have and it feels to them that you are purposely not making time for them so the relationship doesn’t work.

It doesn’t sound like you like this man very much though, like he is more of an inconvenience for you. What is the reason you are with him? Would it not be easier to just be single?

From his perspective, I imagine it went like this:

I have been dating a woman I like a lot, but she's got quite strict boundaries and a young dd so she's quite restrictive on when we see each other. That's fine though because I like her and am happy to take it slow. I went out on the weekend, too many drinks etc so I texted her all kinds of stuff that she just ignored then I passed out! She did text me the next morning to ask if I was embarrassed but I obviously didn't get the message until later when I surfaced, at which point I sent a message.

She didn't reply but did read the message. I know she is busy in the evenings with her DD but I sent a follow up to let her know WhatsApp was down and to check in, which she still didn't respond to. I think she's really pissed that I was drunk on Saturday so I rang her just to try and talk it through and now she's annoyed because she said I was interrupting time with her DD.

However, do you really want a guy who gets so wasted that he ends up texting a load of drunk shit and spends the entire next day in bed?

This would put me right off.

Also op respect to you for ring fencing your time with your daughter. You're a good mum.

I've been divorced and a single parent for 10 years now. I've dated all sorts but I found basic immaturity and poor understanding of parenting duties a massive turn off. Conversely the men who got it straight away and understood they never come first were a big turn on.

Very much against the grain, I think you’re not unreasonable at all!

You didn’t hound him with messages when he was unavailable, why should he do that to you?

YANBU That would annoy me too. I can just about understand sending a second text, but then calling you too? That would have me backing off as fast as possible. That kind of behaviour makes me very nervous.