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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I jumping to conclusions!!?

17 replies

Ohfurflipsake · 04/10/2021 10:20

Friend came to stay with me. Known each other a long time. She tried on a belt at my house because I suggested it would help with her new jeans that she felt she bought in too big a size. It looked great. She said it was a really nice belt where did I get it etc.
I've had it years but it's the one I wear whenever I need a belt so didn't offer her it.
Haven't been able to find it. Asked her today if she remembers where I put it and she says yeah it's in her house and that she accidently took it because it stayed on her jeans Hmm
She then tells me she put it away in her cupboard when unpacking so out of sight and that's why she forgot to mention it.
Aibu to feel really weird and uneasy about that? I just don't see this happening for me and me not mentioning it as soon as I realised. Plus she was wearing her jeans the day she left my place Confused
Aibu even thinking the worst. Its not the belt BTW. Its totally the principal.

OP posts:
Noogar · 04/10/2021 10:28

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt she probably just forgot

pinkyredrose · 04/10/2021 10:32

You seem to be overthinking this. Does she have a habit of being dishonest? Just ask her to bring it back.

Nietzschethehiker · 04/10/2021 10:32

Unless you have history with her to suggest anything else I would be inclined to believe her. I could absolutely see me doing this. Absolutely no ill intentions but if I got home realising I still had it I could absolute see myself putting it safe so ot didn't get lost intending to text you.

I think be careful just because you couldn't see it happening to you, some people ar emote organised, others have very busy lives. Of course she shouldn't be careless ( I work hard to try to overcome that part of myself) but that's a huge jump to assume something sinister.

2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 04/10/2021 10:32

Forgot to give it back easily done .

Putting it away in a cupboard was so you might not remember lending it down the line.

I suggest you specifically ask for it back. Sooner rather than later. CF behaviour.

IAmTheLovechildOfYvesAndIsabel · 04/10/2021 11:11

So you've known each other a long time - two years, 5, 20? OP with the greatest respect there must be more to this, even if you just have a sense of something. Otherwise why would your mind jump to the worst case scenario in terms of your friends' morals, honesty?
It's such a non event - or it would be for a particular much loved friend of mine, I can easily imagine her doing it and 100% not realising.
So either you have a tendency to think negatively of people, even close friends - and it really doesn't sound like you do or something about this particular friend means you very much can imagine her stealing from you. Nobody needs "friends" like that.

NoSquirrels · 04/10/2021 11:13

Just say “Oh, it’s my favourite so I’d really like it back, please.”

What’s to overthink here?

ButterflyAway · 04/10/2021 11:15

I can understand how it’s easy to forget you’re wearing a belt at the time of saying goodbye, but she would have realised when she went to undress and should have text you to let you know at that point, and returned it asap. I can understand why you’re feeling off about this.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 04/10/2021 11:16

A klept ho maniac...

Original poster
Ohfurflipsake · 04/10/2021 18:30

We had plenty messages over past 10 days since she left. Never once mentioned it. She liked the belt. When I could find it I'm not sure why it came in my head that she might have kept it. I'm not convinced it was by accident. She is returning it.
No history of me mistrusting people in fact maybe quite the opposite.
No history of her stealing.

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 04/10/2021 19:07

I personally wouldn't care about a belt, much like a pen, a lighter or an umbrella - things I accidentally put in my pocket without thinking and not realising it meant so much to someone else. It also happens the other way round. It was an accident.

softplay999 · 04/10/2021 19:14

I think you are being way over the top about this belt

dogsrock15 · 04/10/2021 19:15

Think your over thinking this op! Sounds like an accident to me. she probably wore it home and has not given it a second thought until you mentioned it

QuestionEverythingBaby · 04/10/2021 19:19

I'm with you OP.
Fair enough if she took it by accident but to put it away in her cupboard instead of putting it by the door for example, to remind herself to give it back to you? Hmmm

Original poster
Ohfurflipsake · 04/10/2021 19:24

A lighter yes, a cheap pair of socks or pants fair enough.... But this was a belt that is a brand we both love and can't get anymore.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 05/10/2021 18:24

Well she may have worn it home by accident, but she'd have realised as soon as she went to the loo that she had it. Then she would've realised when she took the jeans off. Then she put it in a cupboard.

So she had quite a lot of opportunities to spot her mistake.

If someone took my jeans belt, which, like OP, I've had a really long time and love i would want it back and soon. You really can't just take a friends stuff.

I'd let it go after that.

MyPatronusIsACat · 05/10/2021 18:43

Looks like she just forgot.

Saoirse82 · 05/10/2021 18:55

You're being way OTT here, I'd give a good friend the benefit if the doubt, the last thing I'd think was that they'd stolen from me. It would be a total non issue for me. It sounds like you might have form for mistrusting people if that was your first thought.

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